You were playing with your tablet in your room, had the headphones in your ears and singing along with the song. You were sitting on the ground leaning your back on your bed. You were concentrated on your game that you didn’t notice that someone entered your room, as you weren’t facing the door.
Suddenly someone snatched the tablet from your hand. You groaned, looking up to find it was hakyeon, The one you had grown up with, Your biggest crush in your life, The person that you could lose your life for, the one who looked at you as his sister, nothing more….nothing less.
" Oppa " you jumped from your place as you were happy to see him after a long time as you were so annoyed by what he just did to you. " Give me, my tablet back" you held your hand so he would hand it to you but he slapped your hands.
" Let me play " he said, he sat on your bed, starting to play the game you were just playing. You sighed, pulling a chair to sit on. You sat in front of hakyeon, admiring his smiling face that was shinning by the light coming from the tablet.
" When did you come !? ". You asked.
" Just now "
" Just now !? You mean now for now!? " You asked confused. He just nodded, never leaving his eyes from the game.
" Haul !! " You rolled your eyes.
Hakyeon was working in Seoul. It was quit far from your hometown. So, he couldn’t come and visit often. You hadn’t seen him for more than 2 months now. You missed him, so much.
" I haven’t even seen my parents yet " he said " you should be happy " he joked. As much as you were happy that he came for you first, you were angry that he didn’t go see his parents first. You weren’t even his girlfriend. You were his childhood friend, his little sister. You took the tablet from him " yaaaa " he yelled.
" Go see your parents first " you frowned " I just went there but no one answered the door. They are probably out " he said.
So after all he went to his parents first, you thought
" Liar" you said handing him the tablet back.
" But you liked it " he winked. Your heart skipped a beat.
Does he know about my feelings?
You gulped ” what did I like !? ” You asked.
" My little lie "
" As if " you rolled your eyes.
You had kept your feelings for yourself. You didn’t want to tell him, scared of losing him. That your friendship would be ruined.
" ____ ah, I have something tell you " you gave him all your attention. You were always a good listener and secret keeper. Hearing everything hakyeon told you, His problems, His sadness, his happiness, his stress. You listened to them all. Even you let him sometimes throw his anger on you so he could feel better.
" What is it !? " You anticipated.
" I have someone that I like and I would like you to meet her " your heart broke into million pieces. It’s finally had come, the day you didn’t ever want to come. The tears started to form in your eyes. You fought it back.
It is going to happen anyway you thought now or then. He isn’t yours
You faked a smile ” who’s it!? ” You asked, making yourself as excited as you could
" Just someone I know" he seemed nervous .The heat in your blood started to boil. You had never seen him getting nervous because of some girls. You were jealous of this girl. You felt like he was taken from you. You wanted to tell him right now about your feelings but you held it inside you.
" Okay oppa " you nodded trying to control yourself.
" Thank you ____ah " he gave you a slight hug and you smiled sadly.
———
The next day, you went to school as usual, sinking yourself in it so you could just forget about hakyeon.
You were in the library, titling your head on the table. You found the library quiet and comfortable. You thought about how you would meet up with that girl. How would you control your feelings in front of her?
You jumped from your place when someone tapped on your shoulder. You looked up to see it was Hongbin, the boy who liked you. He confessed but you rejected him. After that he remained to be a good friend to you and you were comfortable around him.
" What are you doing !? " He asked in his sweet and calm voice, sitting in the opposite chair.
" Just sitting and thinking " you said. Your voice was exhausted.
" Is there something wrong !? " He asked. He had always been the caring kind of guys.
" Do your remember when I told you I like someone"
He nodded sadly
"It’s like he found his love" you sighed
" Did you confess!? " He asked
" No way " you blushed " I can’t do that. No I can’t "
" So you will give up "
" I have no choice " you sighed, trying to make your voice steady and not to cry.
" ______, come to me " he said fixing his eyes on you. " I’ll make you forget about him, I’ll love you and treasure you. You are so important to me. I’ll make you love me " his eyes were shinning you had never seen them shinning like this before. You wavered. Your heart skipped a beat. Actually you didn’t hate him. You liked him. As a friend or as a man, you didn’t know. You were comfortable with him, telling him your secrets. So, you decided to give him a chance to change your heart. He wasn’t a bad boy and you knew he could treat you like a princess.
You closed your eyes, thinking. Hongbin was sitting nervously, waiting for your answer. You stood up, taking your bag over your shoulder, turning to leave. Hongbin titled his head down, sighing, knowing that you rejected him again.
But half the way out, You turned back to him.
" Why don’t we try !? " You blushed. He gave you a sly smile. You could see the happiness in his eyes. He jumped from his place hugging you
" Thank you " he said, but you pushed him slightly.
" Take it slow " you said, smiling.
" Ah , sorry " he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He was excited, forgetting that your feelings wasn’t his yet..
You took a selfie together and uploaded it on Instagram, writing “say hi to my close friend, my boy. Binnie”
Not less than 1 minute. Hakyeon was calling you.
Chapter two
You were looking through your photos in your phone and found a lot pictures of you and Hongbin. you chose one and uploaded it in your Instagram. The picture was showing, you and Hongbin were close to each other. You both were smiling. While you were showing a peace sign and Hongbin was winking. You loved the picture. You both looked cute in it.
After a minute from uploading it. Your phone started to vibrate in your hands. Hakyeon was calling you. You boggled to answer it. You were nervous. Did he saw the picture? You wondered. What will he say?
You just took a deep breath and answered the call “H-hello Oppa”
“_______ah” his voice seemed as cheerful as usual. His voice made your heart flutter. You loved his voice.
“ yes Oppa”
Hakyeon didn’t say anything
“Oppa are you here?” you wondered what was wrong. Is it because of the picture?! You thought. For a second you were happy that he would be jealous.
“You are coming tomorrow, right?!” he asked, his voice was serious and calm. It was the day you supposed to meet the girl that he likes.
Stupid
“Yes Oppa, don’t worry!! How come I won’t go” you giggled. You faked your smile for his sake. For his happiness.
As if he will be jealous.
“Don’t be late Ok?!” His voice turned playful again.
He has someone he like now
“Ok Oppa” you gulped, trying to hold your tears and stopped your voice from shaking.
Not Me but Her.
“See you tomorrow” Hakyeon said before hanging up.
“Yeah see you” you cried when you heard the line had been cut.
Your phone vibrated again. You thought Hakyeon forgot to tell you something. But when you checked the ID it was Hongbin. Seeing his Name made you crying even more. You felt sorry for him, wondering how he would change your feelings.
You took the call “Ah Binnie” you tried to clear your voice.
“Are you crying?!” Hongbin panicked
.
“I’m Okay” You said, clearing your throat.
“No you aren’t” he was worried. “Where are you?”
“Home”
“Ok” he hung up without saying any Goodbye. You looked at your phone confused. What’s on earth ?! You thought. Throwing your phone on your bed, burning your face in your bellow and closing your eyes.
Ten minutes passed and you didn’t moved an inch from your place. A voice calling you from outside made you jump from your place. You were shocked when you looked through your window to find Hongbin was standing in front of your house. He waved at you, smiling. You ran down stairs, wearing a jacket quickly and opened your door.
“What are you doing here?!” you walked over to him.
“I thought you needed me” he smiled. You smashed his arm playfully. Rubbing your eyes that were forming tears again. You gave him a smile.
“Thank you” you said.
“Let’s have a walk” He smiled and you nodded.
________________
Hakyeon was playing with his phone, Opening his SNS, checking what’s new. He found a photo of you and a tall handsome boy. He frowned when he saw it and reading what was written under it made his blood boil.
“What Binniee?? My Boy??” he snorted. “Is she joking right now?!”
Without thinking, Hakyeon found himself calling you. He wanted to confirm about that picture. He wanted to set down the fire inside him, but after hearing your voice. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything he hesitated and just decided not to ask about it but making sure you were coming.
After he had hung up, He cursed in his mind. Why couldn’t I just ask about it?! He scolded himself. He made some coffee to himself and went to stay in the balcony for some fresh air. He sighed whenever he remembered your photo. You looked happy in this picture. He groaned dramatically and sat on a chair looking at the street.
There was no one walking around. It was quit and nice. He closed his eyes, leaning his head on his palm, enjoying the nice breeze around him. A laughter distributed his peaceful moment. It sounded familiar to him. The loud and girlish laugh that he loved. You were having a walk. He got excited as he thought he was going to see you. His excitement went down when the saw the same handsome tall boy who were with you in the photo, walking with you. He frowned and went inside the house again.
“Why does she look so happy?” he grunted, going to his bed
____________________
Hongbin changed your mood completely. He made you smile and laugh. Your mood had brightened up. He really was a good friend with you. You didn’t want to hurt him but it seemed like what you only had done for him was hurting him. Hurting him badly
“Binnie” you called him.
“Hmm” he looked over at you.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“Sure” he smiled, willing to do anything for you.
“I am going to meet the girl that Hakyeon Oppa likes tomorrow” You said. Looking at the stars that was twinkling.
“Why?!”
“He asked me to see her. He see me as his sister. He needs me. My opinion I guess” You sighed.
“Are you going to go” He asked. You nodded
“I see” he looked at the ground then at you. “Are you going to be ok?!” his eyes was full of worrisome.
“I want you to go with me”
He stayed silent for seconds and then smiled at you. “Sure”
Hongbin walked you home. You gave him a slight hug that made him shrugging. You thanked him, watching him going home. You entered your house when he was blended with the darkness.
“I’m sorry and thank you” you mumbled
_________________________
The next day, you went to where hakyeon told you he was waiting. Hongbin was with you. When hakyeon saw Hongbin, his smile faded. He glared at Hongbin.
Hongbin noticed that and ignored it, smiling to him. He bowed, introducing himself to the one you love. You felt awkward around the both of them. The atmosphere was telling you there was something wrong.
“Where’s she Oppa?!” you asked, looking around in confusion. There wasn’t any girl but you there.
________________________________
Chapter three
You felt awkward around the both of them. The atmosphere was telling you there was something wrong.
“Where’s she Oppa?”
“I don’t think she will make it…” he said giving you an apologizing smile and then looked at Hongbin curiously “Who’s the dude?”
“Oppa, this is the guy that I told you about. My best friend… We are now dating” you linked your arms around hongbin who noticed how nervous and worried you were right in front of Hakyeon. It annoyed him but he couldn’t help it as he knew where your heart was exactly.
On the other side Hakyeon expression darkened, his heart sank a bit but you didn’t notice, the one who noticed it was hongbin, but soon he faked a smile and hand shook hongbin. “You should treat her well if you want to survive.”
“Don’t worry. I’m already taking a good care of her.” hongbin said smugly
“So what are we going to do now?” You meant to interrupt the fire they sent to each other with a cute smile from you.
“Let’s have lunch anywhere. I think food helps.” You suggested when no one had answered you.
You were sitting in a chicken restaurant as you were waiting for the order to be done. Hakyeon was sitting with you as he excused himself to bathroom. You looked at hongbin with eyebrow raised.
“Why did you do that?” you whispered.
“Did what?”
“You know what I mean. You aren’t stupid.”
Hongbin sighed and looked at you in eyes. “So could you stop that?”
“Stop what?”
“You know what I mean because you aren’t stupid too.” He returned the same sentence to you in the same sarcastic way.
“Are we fighting now?” you bit on your lips and ignored looking at him.
“We aren’t fighting, it’s just annoying how nervous you are around him. I want you to also be like this around me.” Hongbin pouted trying to calm down your sudden anger a bit.
“Are you jealous?” You looked at him with a smirk on your face.
“Maybe.” Hongbin blushed, avoiding making eye contact with you. You found it cute that you couldn’t restrain yourself from crashing his cheeks in your hands, pulling his face closer to you. “Cute! Why are you so cute?” And at a blink of an eye, you found Hongbin lips on yours. You froze in your place, your eyes were wide opened. Your mind became blank as the only thing you could her was your heart beating so fast. More than normal. What is it? What is this feeling?
When he pulled away from you, you still were on your froze state, he smiled slightly and looked down at his hands. “Sorry, I was hurrying again” Hongbin hissed but you heard him.
You blinked and gulped the nothingness in your throat. You wanted to answer him and to respond but no vocal wanted to come out. The heat kept flowing up to your cheeks more than you had ever felt before. You looked up and locked hongbin’s eyes with yours, you were about to smile when a voice snapped you out of your feelings. Hakyeon was back.
Did he see us? You thought and you hated yourself for loving the feeling of hongbin lips a minute ago and now you were worried about Hakyeon seeing the two of you kissing.
“What’s with that atmosphere?” Hakyeon giggled as he saw the awkwardness between you and hongbin.
He didn’t see us. You sighed in relieve.
“Oh! O-oppa… you came.” You snapped your head in his direction and tried to smile.
“Y/N, why are you so red are you sick?” Hakyeon hand tried to reach for your forehead, but hongbin’s hand reached first and touched your forehead which leads only to your cheeks to heat more.
“She’s fine.” Hongbin said firmly.
“O-oh I see.” Hakyeon pulled back his hand. She’s really taken. Hakyeon thought as he took his place down on the chair again.
The lunch was over and you thanked god it was. Most of the rest of the meal was so awkward, Hongbin didn’t say a word and didn’t look at you, you were still blushing and N kept looking at you and hongbin like he knew something was defiantly wrong but what annoyed you that he had hurt expression in his face. He was trying hard to smile but you could notice it in his eyes. Maybe because she didn’t come.
“I will send you home, Y/N. Get in” Hakyeon said opening the car’s door.
Hongbin held your arm and pulled you closer to him. “Don’t worry about that I will take her home.”
“Yah, don’t be childish she lives near my house and I’m going home now moreover, it’s so hot for her to walk under the sun. You don’t have car right?” Hakyeon said smugly as he pulled you close next to him. Hongbin couldn’t refuse, he also didn’t want you to suffer the summer hotness. “Now get in the car.”
You gave Hongbin an apologizing glance. “Sorry, I will go”
Hongbin smiled, nodded his head slightly and mouthed “Don’t worry. I’ll call you.”
You felt worried and relieved at the same time, worried that hongbin would get upset for leaving him and going with hakyeon and relieved that you won’t be alone with him. It would be so awkward since he kissed you few minutes ago. You were thankful to Hakyeon who offered you to go with him.
Hakyeon was driving, in his way to your home, and glancing at you from time to time. You on the other hand were looking through the windows at the sky which was blue and clear. Your mind was full of hongbin at that moment, you yourself didn’t notice what were you thinking about until Hakyeon started to talk. “Y/N, a while back…”
“Huh?” you asked looking at him.
“A while back at the restaurant.”
“Hmm.”
Suddenly your phone rang, a smile crept into your face when Hongbin name appeared on the screen, “Sorry Oppa just a minute.” You said before answering the phone. Hakyeon at this moment felt pain in his chest.
“Oh!” You answered smiling.
“Have you reached home?” Hongbin asked
“Not yet why?”
“Make sure when you go home to take medicine, I think you have a slight fever.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Don’t get sick okay.”
“Hmm.”
“Love you.” Hongbin said it naturally, it wasn’t the first time for hongbin to confess his feelings to you but this time your heart fluttered.
“Hmm.” You said before hongbin hanged up.
“Hongbin?” Hakyeon asked. You looked at him with a shocked expression.
“How did you know?”
“You didn’t stop smiling the whole call.” Hakyeon said glancing at you and then at the road again. “Do you love him?” Hakyeon made sure that he was watching you while answering this question.
You stayed silent thinking deeply about this question. Do I love him?
Chapter four
You opened the car door, stepping outside it, followed by Hakyeon. You had reached your house, you looked at it and inhaled before looking at Hakyeon with a smile. All the ride was silent after the question Hakyeon asked.
Do you love him?
You kept thinking about it without giving any answer and Hakyeon didn’t ask again and let you with your thoughts.
“So I’ll go Oppa.” you turned to leave but Hakyeon’s Voice stopped you.
“Y/N!!” Hearing your name coming out of his mouth made your heart jump.
“Ah what’s wrong oppa?” You turned and approached him again.
Hakyeon took seconds before opening his mouth again. He looked as if he was hesitating to say something. “I’m going to Seoul in two days”
Your heart dropped, he was going to leave again. You know it was his work but you wanted to spend more time with him, you cleared your voice and said, “Two days?! Why so soon?”
“It’s not soon Y/N” he chuckled, “I only had 5 days off so I wanted to come and see my parents”
“Hmmm” You hummed in a disappointed voice and nodded slightly looking at your leg that was kicking the ground. “I will be lonely again”
“Why would you be lonely? You have hongbin.” Hakyeon tried not to show how he hated Hongbin being with you instead of him.
“I just… will miss you Oppa” You said, it was easy to say something like you miss him. You lived almost half of your life with him as your big brother.
“Me too Y/N, I will miss you” hakyeon said, warping his arms around your shoulder into a hug. You closed your eyes as you warped your arms around his waist. At that moment you didn’t think of hongbin.
Hakyeon pulled from the hug as he looked in your eyes with a smile in his face. You wanted to stay with him. You didn’t want him to leave so soon and that’s when an idea popped into your mind, “Oppa, let’s spend all the day tomorrow together. Let’s go out.”
Hakyeon nodded and said, “Then I will pick you up tomorrow morning. If you aren’t ready by 11:30 I will leave you.”
“No you won’t”
“No I’ll”
“I’ll kill you if you do that” You balled your hands into a fist and held it in front of hakyeon’s face.
Hakyeon giggled slightly as he put his hands on his pocket. There was something strange about hakyeon and you was sure about it –Normally in this situation he would joke or give you his ‘really?!’ face.
“Are you okay oppa?”
Hakyeon blinked and rubbed his eyes –and you would swear if you weren’t mistaken that you saw tears in his eyes, but it had to be just your imagination. “I’m just tired. I’ll go now” Hakyeon said before hugging you one more time. “See you tomorrow”
Something about Hakyeon’s back as he was leaving to his car broke your heart. Was it right to leave him just go like this? Was it because of her? Because she didn’t come?
You wanted to go to this girl’s house and punch her on the face for hurting your oppa. You thought if it wasn’t for her, you would have a chance. You would have gone out with him. You just sighed and went inside your house when you could no longer see hakyeon’s car.
~~
His sight was blurry and he stopped by at the right side of the rode. He hit the wheels in frustration as if the wheels done something to him.
Before. He thought as he wiped the tears away from his eyes. You could have had her before but not any longer.
The heavy weight of the little box in his pocket annoyed him. He pull it out of his pocket and opened it, showing a small necklace that had your name on it with a little butterfly linked with your last letter of your name. He closed the box and threw it in the car’s compartment.
The sight of you kissing hongbin never left his mind. It kept passing through his eyes. He saw something that he would never ever like to see again.
He took a deep breath before moving the keys and the car’s engine worked again. His house wasn’t far away from yours, it was two streets away that you could take ten minutes to reach if you walk. Once he reached home, he decided that the next day would be the last day for him having feelings for you. It wasn’t an easy decision but it was the most right one since you already had someone by your side now.
~~
You threw yourself on the bed after showering. Closing your eyes ready to sleep when your phone started to ring. You annoyingly reached for your phone, you smiled when you saw his name on your phone. Hongbin was calling you. There was definitely something that had changed inside of you after that Kiss. You blushed as you remembered the feeling of his lips on yours.
“Hi” You answered the call softly. You were laying on your back and looking at the ceiling.
“Were you sleeping?” Hongbin asked
“No” you giggled. “What are you doing?”
“Thinking about you”
“Ew! That was so cheesy” You laughed and you could hear hongbin laughing on the other side.
“If you weren’t sleeping then what were you doing?” Hongbin asked
“About to sleep”
Hongbin just giggled and a little silence started to grow through the call although it was a comfortable silence. As if hongbin was there next to you.
Do I love you? You thought.
“Y/N” Hongbin breathed, your heart beat started to raise
“Yes” You hated your voice it was like if you were anticipating to hear something from him. Something special.
“Y/N”
“Wae?” you giggled when he called you again without saying anything useful.
“Will you stay with me?”
The time had stopped for a minute, a yes was about to be said but something held you from saying it. You breathed and changed the subject as if you didn’t hear him.
“You told me I might have a fever right?” you said nervously.
“Ah… Right” Hongbin sighed knowing that he wasn’t the one in your heart. Not yet. “Did you take the medicine?”
“No. because I don’t have a fever” you chuckled “It looks like the place was too hot there”
“It’s such a relief”
“Yeah right” you then remembered your promise with N to have a date with him and you know it would be good if you tell Hongbin about it. You didn’t know why you even care telling him. You had always been going everywhere with Hakyeon without telling him why now. “Binnie”
“Yes”
“I…I’m…” You paused, thinking of a nice way to say it.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to go out with Hakyeon Oppa tomorrow and…” you paused, you could hear your heart beating so fast. “I felt like you would like to know where I’m going and…” your voice was shaking a bit.
“Thank you” Hongbin cut you.
“What?”
“For telling me. That means, you trust me.” You blushed and thanked god that he wasn’t really there to see it. You smiled in relief and continued to talk to hongbin the rest of the night until you fell asleep.
~~
“Oppa where are we going?”
“Somewhere nice” Hakyeon smiled, glancing at you and returned back to the road.
“You’re not going to kidnap me, are you?” you pretended to be shocked with wide eyes which only lea Hakyeon to chuckle and say, “Ah I’m kidnapping you”
You smiled and leaned back to your seat as your hand held the seat belt that was around you. “Great. It’s going to be fun”
“You grew up a lot Y/N” Hakyeon suddenly said. You blushed and looked straight in front of you at the sky without saying a word. Hakyeon smiled when he saw your blushing cheeks.
“So where are we going again?” you said, trying to change the mood and you succeed. You and Hakyeon laughed so hard.
“How’s your school?” Hakyeon asked.
“Not bad” you sighed. “How’s your work?”
“Not bad”
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. “So, where did you tell me we are going?”
This time Hakyeon took the tissue box, which was place next to him and throw it at you with a glare. “Yah, yah. Stop asking”
It had been more than fifteen minutes with you in Hakyeon’s car, you didn’t know where you are going but you realized that you were heading out of your city, in the direction to the beach. It was afternoon so you found it nice to go to the beach at time like that.
You looked at Hakyeon and smirked, which he beheld it through the mirror.
“Why?” he smiled.
“I guess, I know where we are going.” You said with a lot of confidence.
“Just pretend that you don’t know.” he frowned a little. You know he wasn’t angry, he was just joking so you scoffed and leaned your head to the window next to you.
The street was nice as the sky was pure and the sun was so nice. What a nice weather. Letting your face out of the window after opening it. Feeling the nice breeze of the air as the car kept moving straight. You inhaled and exhaled with a happy smile. You were in need for this little trip.
You loved beach so much. It reminded you of many things, family vacations and… Your first kiss.
You smiled when you remembered it. It was your very first kiss. It was when you were child around 6 years old and he was 9 years old. You wondered how you still remember it clearly. You and Hakyeon were running around along the shore when suddenly you fell on the ground hurting your knee. Hakyeon ran to you and bended down next to you holding your legs.
“Ah, are you okay?” Hakyeon asked worriedly.
“It hurt” you were crying your heart out.
“Here, stop crying now.” Hakyeon started to blow on it but you didn’t stop crying.
People around you started mumbling that hakyeon was bulling you and how pitiful you were to have a friend like him. He frowned and said, “Stop crying Y/N”
“But it hurt Oppa” your sobbing was getting higher.
“Stop crying, I’ll buy you ice cream okay?” Hakyeon whined more like scolding.
“Look at that kid. He’s still getting angry at her when she’s in pain.” A woman that was near you said. Hakyeon didn’t know what to do to shut you up, so he leaned close and kissed your lips. From the shock, you muted and your eyes widened. Both of you were blushing. From embarrassment, you pushed Hakyeon and stared at him.
“It…it’s your fault.” Hakyeon stuttered, blushing. “I told you to stop crying.”
“Hmmm.” You nodded, swallowing your tears as hakyeon helped you up and to your parents.
My first Kiss. Huh! You thought. But thinking of kissing, hongbin’s image passed your vision. You shook your head, it was a sudden kiss which you didn’t count as a probable kiss. Yeah it wasn’t a kiss.
“Y/N” you turned to look at Hakyeon. “We are here.” He smiled as he turned to another lane and parked his car near the beach.
You excitedly, ran out of the car to the sea and screamed, “IT IS THE SEA”
“Yah!! Be careful” Hakyeon chuckled.
“Oppa, come on” You waved to him. He shook his head, smiling at you. “You’ll regret it” you scoffed and turned to the sea.
Hakyeon sat down on the sand, his palms where on the sand, supporting him as he was leaning back a little. His smile widened with every action you do. He watched you playing happily with the water kicking it as if it had done something to you, running around like a kid when suddenly you fell on the ground.
Hakyeon panicked and ran to you. “Yah, I told you to take care.” Your hair was covering your face as you were looking at your scratched knees. You were shaking a bit as voices started to come out of you. Sounded like crying. “Yah! Are you crying?” he bended down to you, putting his hand over your shoulder, you looked. A bright smile where on your face. It was laughing sound. Hakyeon sighed in relief.
“This is fun.” You laughed hard as you saw the shocked look in hakyeon’s face. Hakyeon sighed in a relief and hit your arm.
“This is fun?” Hakyeon snorted.
“So fun” You continued laughing. You threw some sand from next to you at hakyeon shirt, teasing him.
“What are you doing?” he glared at you challenging you. “If we started it you are going to lose.”
“As if” you stuck out your tongue and threw sand on him again, he was about to do the same but you gasped and started to run off. “It didn’t touch me.”
Hakyeon bit his lips, approaching you. “Come here.”
“No.” you took steps backward
“I will not do anything just come here.”
“No”
His steps widened, he was ready to run after you and get you. Once you noticed it, you started to run again. Both of you laughed, joked and played around like you used to do when you were kids.
“NICE” You screamed, laying on the ground.
“Yeah” Hakyeon joined you.
“Oppa, I’m hungry.” You said, rubbing your stomach.
“Let’s go to eat” Hakyeon stood first then helped you up.
“But I don’t want to leave yet.” You whined.
“Don’t worry.” Hakyeon said, ruffling your hair. “I know a restaurant near here we will eat and then come here again.”
“Assa.” You said excitedly, walking toward the car. You looked back at hakyeon when he wasn’t following you. “Aren’t you coming?”
“Oh! I’m coming”.
~~
“So oppa” you said, putting a piece of fish meat in your mouth. “Is Seoul pretty?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty” he nodded.
“Where do you like it more? Do you like it here or like it there?”
“Seoul, I think.”
You scoffed. “You betrayal”
“Did you say something?” Hakyeon raised an eyebrow.
“I was saying this fish is so delicious” you laughed nervously, putting another piece of meat in your mouth. You don’t want to get hit from him after all.
He stared at the food for a minute and then ate some before opening his mouth again. “I am thinking of bringing my parents there. It would be easy for them to live.”
You choked, you took the glass of water and finished it all until your breath became steady again. It was a shocking news to you. If Hakyeon’s parents are no longer there then you would never see him again. You just nodded without saying a word.
Hakyeon notice your gloomy face. “Wae?”
“Huh?!” Ah I look so sad right? You forced a smile on your face. “If Oppa think that then it must be really good for them. I’ll just miss them so much.” I will miss you the most.
“Hmm.” Hakyeon nodded. “They will follow me to Seoul next week.”
“So soon.”
“Soon is better.”
You felt betrayed. You spent almost all your life with him and his family. But simply he just wanted to leave every memory in this place and so soon too. If only you could return back to be kids or younger. You and hakyeon never left each other side. If only things could be like before.
~~
“Y/N!” Hakyeon called you. You were on your way back home, it was pretty late as the darkness fall.
“Yes Oppa”
“Would you like to go to Seoul?”
“If I had a chance. Why not?” You shrugged.
“Would you like to go with me?”
“Ay~~, stop joking around.” You hit his arm.
“Yah! I’m driving.” Hakyeon yelled.
“Sorry.” you pressed your lips together into a line, noticing what you had done wrong.
“I’m talking seriously. Y/N, come with me.”
“Oppa”
“I would like you to come with me. Live with me and have a life with me” Hakyeon started to confess to you suddenly and you could feel the heat racing inside of you. Could it be Anger or Embarrassment? Both.
“What are you saying Oppa?” you snorted still not taking his words seriously. “You should ask the girl you like. Not me”
“It’s you” a sigh left his mouth as if he was trying hard not to say it.
“What?”
“Actually it is you. The girl I like” you could feel your chest burning with his words, he couldn’t be serious, you had a boyfriend already so you chose to stay silent.
“I liked you a lot, a long time ago, since we were kids” Hakyeon continued, “but I started to love you as a woman now.”
You stayed silent
“It’s my fault after all, for not being honest before.”
Before!
“I thought I should confess now before it’s too late”
Before!
“I know that you have a boyfriend now, but do you even love him? Can’t you be by my side like before?”
How much I hate this word before!! It stabbing my heart like a sharp knife.
“Oppa” finally a voice came out of you. “I’m sorry”
“Ah!” hakyeon choked, his breath became heavy. “It’s not possible right?”
“I’m sorry.” you found the tears falling from your eyes, if he had been honest, if hongbin didn’t exist in your life, if your heart wasn’t beating for the both of them, things would be defiantly different. “I’m sorry” you covered your face with your hand, sobbing.
Hakyeon bit his lower lips trying to hold his own tears, he grabbed the wheels tightly that his knuckles were white as the blood was leaving them. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying as possible as he could to smile.
When you reached home, you jumped out of the car toward your house but you stopped when Hakyeon followed you out and called you. You turned slowly to face him as he approached you.
“I will be leaving tomorrow morning. I don’t know if we will ever see each other again but I would like to give you this.” He handed you a box, you opened it, it was a neckless having your name with a little butterfly linked with your last name letter, you looked up at Hakyeon. You could tell that he was so sad.
I’m the one who hurt Oppa. I’m the cause of his pain.
“I hope you will say goodbye tomorrow.” Hakyeon said.
“Oppa.” you started to cry again.
“I love you, Y/N. always.” Hakyeon said, hugging you. You hugged him back, it might be the only thing that you could do for him. “Wear it when you discover your feelings.” Hakyeon whispered in your ears before pulling away heading back to his car. The sight of his back still looked sad. No, it was sadder than before. At least he confessed his feelings and didn’t run away like I did.
You looked down as you froze it your place. Hakyeon oppa is leaving tomorrow, and I won’t be able to see -
You returned back towards your house when your phone vibrated, you took it and looked at it. It was Hongbin who was calling, your chest clenched. You cleared your voice and tried to get rid of the crying in your voice and tried to wear a smile to help you talk naturally.
“Ah-Ah” you answered your call.
“What are you doing?
“Sleeping” you looked up at the dark sky, there were no stars up there.
“What a liar?” Hongbin snorted.
“Wae?”
“Do you want me to comfort you?”
“Why would you comfort me? I’m fine. Weird”
“Don’t you need a bear hug?”
“No”
“Are you sure?” hongbin voice became clearer, you turned following the voice. He was standing just before your eyes. The tears began to form again as your hand dropped by your side.
“Why are you here?” you sniffed.
“Because you need me”
“Idiot” you said as Hongbin warped his arms around you into a hug, you squeezed him, hugging him tightly and started to cry your heart out, sobbing so hard. Why is he always there when you need someone by your side?
“Wanna have a walk?” Hongbin stroked your hair, asking you when you calmed down. You nodded. Hongbin held your hand in his and pulled you for a walk.
“So he finally confessed?” Hongbin asked, sighing.
“H-how…”
“You are idiot, it was clear that he also love you. You both are stupid.” Hongbin said.
“Ah~” you said nodding.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know” you said.
“Go. You need him. You love him right” Hongbin said, squeezing your hands, your chest clenched again. It hurt you how you hurt the most precious people in your life.
“Binnie” you whined, looking at him in eyes.
“Don’t pity me Y/N” Hongbin laughed. But it was out of pain. “I was rejected many times before, right?”
Before!
You stopped and looked up at him. “I’m sorry”
“Don’t be sorry, I knew it would happen anyway” Hongbin said. “I will always be by your side whenever you need me. I promise to find someone better than you in the future” You chuckled at his words. Idiot.
Hongbin took you home, ruffling your hair before waving goodbye at you, he didn’t turn his back to you. He walked backward until he turned and left.
The next morning, you didn’t know what to do. Where were your feelings? Who do you love the most? When you found the answer you took the neckless box and ran out …
10 years later.
“Omma… Omma” your 4 years old daughter was pulling you from your clothes, whining.
“Wae?” you looked down at her, she had those pretty eyes of her father that you loved to look at.
“I’m hungry”
“We are going to eat now, be patient” you said as you continued on putting your lipstick and earing.
“Omma…Omma”
“What now?” you snapped.
“I want to put lipstick like you.” you chuckled and bended down as you applied a little bit of lipstick on her beautiful small lips, her lips were already red naturally, why would she want to put some on. You spread the lipstick on her lips with your thump. She looked cute as her lips curved into a bright smile.
“Happy?” You asked
“Yeah.” She nodded cutely and started to run out of your room.
“Don’t lick your lips” you yelled back.
You and your daughter were going to have dinner out with her father, her uncle and some of your friends. You were waiting for your friends as they were going to pick you up. Your daughter’s father and uncle were coming together after finishing their work.
Suddenly your phone rang, you looked to see it was your friend. You hung up knowing that they were in front of your house, you glanced at a neckless that caught your eyes, smiling as you remembered its memory and put it on before taking your daughter and leaving to your friends.
~~
“When are they going to come?” a friend of yours said, you were waiting for your daughter’s father and her uncle at the restaurant, they are 15 minutes late and you were dying of anger.
“Omma… Omma, I’m hungry” your daughter whined.
You frowned as none of them picked up his phone. “I’m going to kill them.”
When suddenly the restaurant door swung open, the both of them entering as cool as they are, as if they were filming a CF.
You scoffed with a smile, they would never change, the most two precious people in your life. Hakyeon and Hongbin….
Here you are even after those many years, “before” became a memory that we would smile when we remember. Because regretting is going to only hurt us more.
The End…