It all happened some time ago... And I dare say "happened" as if things had ended, but the truth that I try to escape by saying that, is that nothing ever does. Everything lives on... Cause and effect; the flow of a never ending river: one tiny rock moving another, time and time and again, slowly turning the river deeper and broader. Nothing begins nor ends; it is just a continuation of things. Who we are is the result of whom we were, and the key factor of who we'll be.
And yet I insist in saying that it happened; that it ended and that such precious times existed once and will never again... But I think that such is the nature of the human being. Looking for comfort and rest in ignorance and oblivion. But, no matter how desperate my efforts are, how many times I try to erase these feelings of melancholy and blind hope deep inside of me, it's all futile. Whether it is in the company of my old friends or at the end of an old bottle, I can't seem to elude these memories that once were, but now exist alone in the form of ghosts that haunt my dreams.
I fear my life has become the same as that of most people; every moment of my day is now filled with monotony. I spent every hour doing the same thing as the day before and the one before it, yet, expecting a different result; something that would get me out of here, just as I drive a little bit further into madness every time. I wait, but don't do anything to change the outcomes; I have been in this hole for a long time, never knowing what to do. Do I move on with my life, leaving behind me all those treasured moments that tear through my chest without mercy? Or do I wait; wait as I have done until now, lingering to those promises made long ago that seem to be the only source of light I can feel, but that blinds me everyday a bit more? I have stayed in this hole a long time, and now I'm too afraid to move and too afraid to stay.
As the rain begins to descend on this cold evening, I think of a way to flee my emotions one more time. These feelings are like spiders that have made of my mind and my heart their home; thus, entangling and changing everything inside me, making me rid of any direction. Now I have decided, to seek aid and sense, in another soul. Whether a pointless choice or not, it is the only one I have. Friend, let's have another drink, I may now tell you what started some time ago.