It’s really hard to love and trust again when you’re used to being with yourself. You use to stand alone and fight for your own good without depending with others. It’s not easy. You’ll say struggle is real. People like us is hard to be understood by many. We use to write a lists of guidelines on how to be on our own. We use to be independent along the way and we think no one can knock us down. We built enormous tower around us that no one can bend it or bring it down. Yes, people like us is quite strong and brave but most of the time they mistaken us as “bitters” or “HATERS” where in fact we’re not. They just need to hear our stories. They need to understand what we’ve been through and it’s not easy to open up to others. We keep this within ourselves. And Yes, we’re still human.
We keep learning from our experience and most of the time is from the experiences of other. We’re not stoned hearted we just DON’T want to make the same mistake all over again so we’re trying to avoid playing fire in ourselves. We’re through it all. We are use to keeping ourselves away from danger so we always sounds precautious. We might sounds HARD but we’re just simply delicate to handle. We choose carefully whom to be with and make sure the y are worth keeping for. Someone who’s willing to be with you and open themselves to you, it’s the person you can count whenever you need someone to lean on. Yes, rare to find yet precious to keep and you’ll be lucky enough to find one.
We think that falling in love again will make us feel weak and would make us feel vulnerable. It’ll make us take the risk in the most dangerous situation in the world. We know this will affect the core defense that we’ve been building the whole time. Failures and bad experiences involving romantic relationship will makes us become pistanthrophobic most of the time. Yes, sounds bad but this the key of keeping ourselves away from pain. Influenced you’ve got from your past will makes us think that “history repeats itself” which is a very hilarious to think of. But that’s the way we think. Past stirs up with our new life. We are afraid to let someone get in our barricade and makes us fall apart from what we’ve believe in. We’ll think that it’ll make us in pain again if we’ll get caught in the trap. Getting into intimate feeling with someone will hurt us more and even more as time goes by. We tend to seclude ourselves away from this unfamiliar spark we get from other.