It wasn't much of a special day. Just because she was about to turn seventeen didn't mean everyone had to drop what they were doing and rush to her with smiles and roses. But there should be at least some recognition.
Avery pondered over whether she should go and join her mother in the kitchen, see if she'd remember what day it was, or stay where she was, in the comfort of the library she'd been setting up for years. Sitting cross-legged on the lush rug she'd dragged in, her mind kept going back to how comfortable she was and how she didn't want to get up. So, giving in to ease, she stretched her arms above her head and flopped down on the rug. Her burgundy curls spread out around her head like a bloody halo, especially against the white rug.
Light was seeping in through the window, nearly hitting her. Avery squinted against it, trying to see if her younger brother was out in the front yard as he usually was. But against the harsh light, she couldn't make out anything, no matter how hard she tried.
Instead, she reached over to pick up her watch, which she'd laid down beside her, and to not crack its face. It was five to eleven. Avery smiled to herself. The room was eerily quiet, but she broke the silence. Although alone in the room, she still spoke aloud, yet in a whisper, "Happy birthday."
Another year marked down for nobody caring about the little things.
Her mother came rushing into the library, not angry but frazzled. Her brown hair was flung around her shoulders as she looked around the room.
"Avery! Have you seen your brother? He's supposed to show up at practice in five minutes, and we're running late."
She blinked, once, twice. Slowly, to make sure that her mother heard her, she said, "I don't know. I've been in here."
"Right, right. Maybe outside again. He's always outside, right? Right."
And with that she turned on her heel and left the room. Avery stared after her for a few seconds before banging her head against the floor. Nobody cared what was on her mind, what she cared about, or anything that had to do with her. But her star-quality brother was the person everyone wanted to know. Why did he have to come into the picture? Had he not been there, everything would have fallen back to her, and it'd be the dream life.
Frowning, Avery sat up, clasping her hands in front of her. She thought long and hard about just what this train of thought was leading her to think.
Hearing a car engine's rumbling come to a stop and the squeal of tires, she snapped out of her thinking. Looking back at her watch, it was half past three. Her brother had probably been found and been taken to practice.
Avery slowly stood up, brushing invincible dust particles off of her flannel shirt and jeans. Anything before going out to face them. But she hadn't the need to, as her brother came barreling into the room.
"Avery! Avery, guess what? Guess! Just guess!"
Despite being six years younger than her, he was nearly the same height as her, standing at five' ten. She took a step back to avoid having him knock his head against her's in his excitement.
"You got promoted on the team?" She said this slowly, with a puzzled look in her eyes.
His smile just widened. "Nuh-uh! Come on! I gotta show it to you!"
He started pulling on her arm, and was bouncing on the balls of his feet. She let herself be pulled out of the room and walked down the hall. She didn't bother resisting, knowing that he'd just start becoming even more pesky the more she tried to go against him.
In the living room, he finally stopped and pulled her in front of him. Their mother was just walking into the room, carrying his bag from practice. Noticing them, she looked up.
"James! Where did you run off to? You had me worried for a second."
Of course. The discussion always had to turn back to him. But he didn't even seem to notice what their mother had said. He ran up to her, grabbing the bag and heading to the front table. He gestured for Avery to come as well, so she slowly walked over. He was rummaging through the many pockets and zippers, even as she stood beside him. Finally, he seemed to find what he was looking for, as a smile broke out on his face again.
Digging his hand out, he held his palm flat open, a small box resting in it. The way he held it out, it seemed as though he was offering it to her. Still unsure, she asked him, "For me?"
He smiled, nodding. Again, he shook his hand in her direction, urging her to take it. Hesitantly, she did, feeling the velvet fabric of the box. With a finger, she slowly pried it open. It creaked open. Her breath caught in her throat.
It was a necklace. The chain was silver, beautiful enough in itself. But the pendant, the pendant was what stole her attention. Her eyes must've been open wide and her mouth hanging slightly open. It was a blue rose, her favorite flower in the world, despite it being nonexistent.
Fingering the chain, she looked back at him in awe. He was looking back at her expectantly, his head tilted to the side.
"You always say that blue roses are your favorites, so I saw this one and got it for you. I wanted to give it earlier, but Mom had to take me to practice. So, happy birthday Avie!"
Avery couldn't help but give him a small smile. Someone actually had cared. She pulled him into a loose hug. "Thanks."
Their mother had still been standing in the room. For a second, she just looked puzzled. Then her eyes widened, and she put a hand to her mouth. "Avery, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot it was...Tell me what you want me to get. I'll go out and buy it right now. Tomorrow we'll have a party and everything, alright sweetie?"
Avery swung her gaze to her mother, who was gazing at her with wide eyes, like a fish. She was pathetic, really, trying to console her with bribery of gifts and parties that would either be forgotten or stopped before it ended due to some issue or another. Avery wasn't going to let it go so easily this time. This time, she was going to let her mother have it.
"You think playing up the nice card is going to be good enough? You're my mother. This is the day I was born, and you're the person who's supposed to recognize it the best!" Digging her nails into the palm of her hand, she went on. "Do you really want to get me something for my birthday? Or do you just want to get me something that I ask for so that I'll shut up about you forgetting the single, most important day that only happens once a year, and you can go on feeling slightly less guilty about forgetting about it in the first place?"
The look on her mother's face was pure dread. "Avery, I know I-"
"No. You know what? Sure, I'll go along with it. You can buy me a birthday present. But it has to be today that I get it, since this is the day I was supposed to get it." Looking straight into her mother's eyes, she told her exactly what she wanted. "Get me blue roses. Real ones. Not the cheap, plastic ones they sell in dollar stores, but real, real ones with the soft petals and stem with thorns."
Her mother started stepping backward, nodding, reaching for her keys. She was going to get this present for her daughter. But then she stopped, her hand almost to her keys, and turned back to Avery.
"But you said blue roses didn't exist?"
The look in Avery's eyes could be described as nothing other than contempt. She snarled back at her, "Exactly." Then she pushed past her, flung the door open, and left out into the mild afternoon. It was nearly four, if she remembered correctly. She didn't bother to really think about it, in her anger. She had just stormed out of her house on her birthday, and was now speedily walking away from it.
With a sudden jolt, she realized two things. One, she was still holding the necklace her brother had given her. She had taken it out of the box, but she hadn't remembered actually taking it out of the house with her. And two, she was walking towards the forest that lined the house to the left. She usually went there to calm down or just to relax. But she wasn't walking toward any of her usual spots. She was headed toward the river.
Had her subconscious led her there? Was this one of those moments where you're being led somewhere and what you find will change your fate? Avery could only hope. After all, anything was better that going back to the house. That would be admitting defeat and wanting the consolation of family. She wasn't going to break so easily.
Upon reaching the river, she realized that the sky was darker than it should've been at that time.Maybe I read the time wrong before? It surely looked as if it were the evening sky. And when she looked into the water, she could see a glint that was the reflection of the moon. There were burgundy roses growing along the edge of the river. Avery rubbed one of the petals of a flower between her thumb and index finger, recognizing its softness.
Looking across the river's surface, she saw just how serene it was. How still it all was. Peaceful too. Even though the river was a few feet deep.
A few feet deep, huh? She wondered why she'd been thinking about the depth of the river, but then blinked when she felt a coldness across her neck. Somehow, without realizing it, she'd put on the necklace, and it was now clasped. Moonlight glinted off of the silver, and the blue was nearly black in the dark. Black roses...
Then she started to laugh. It was first a low giggle, then grew to a full maniacal, unending laugh. Still laughing, she rose from her seat beside the roses. She faced the river with a wide smile and a distant look in her eyes.
Facing the roses, she laughed once more. "In the dark, I can't tell if they look like blue roses or black roses."
Turning back to the river, her smile grew wider. "The impossible, or death? Either way it's a last resort."
She still wondered about this as she took an unconscious step forward.