Chapter 1
I walked back to the road I dreadfully feared. I told myself I have to do it again until my wish will come true, until every shooting stars in the sky will fall or pass through my eyes, until it will hear my wishes.I won't give up until my breath will no longer have the power to circulate air in my system. Even my heart is no longer hoping, even it is already to tired to feel the pain and even it already give up beating.
I have to...
I left the colorful world and face my real world, where colors are limited and extinct. A world were only pain and suffering is dominant but it is also the only reason why you were alive. I tried my hardest to understand and comprehend this world but along my uncertainties I ended up into nothingness.
I wanted to get back myself in where I was trying to understand it. I know the obstacles are no longer a stranger to me for every passing day I live to survive the test.
I want to make a chance for individual that in history someone was able to surpass the challenge. The challenge of the unknown dungeon in which once you entered there was no chance of forgetting. You can come out but the memory of what you've been through will continue to live on inside you. It will continue to imprisoned you with invisible walls and ghost of something you know that doesn't exist.
For we both understand that the world will say it is within you and only you knows why. Then we always say that "ah I know it is my fault after all". No one knows that the door we open is dark because every door in front of us in an unknown opening for every individual to open. The only difference is that some have the ability to close it before entering and others don't have that ability to do so.
We are someone who choose and take responsibility of what we did and what had happened within the choice we pick. It wasn't easy to choose and not easy to leave up to it. We have the acceptance but it has the heaviest drag on us, if we fail we accept, however the scars that create the failure will have no room for us to abandon. The memory that we created is a data we could never delete.
The only way to escape is to shutdown our system entirely and that would lead to our end. Nobody knows when that will happen but we always know that we have the choice. The only choice for us is to end the suffering or pain and/or to live being immune of the pain and wait for the judgement. Both options does not give a slightest hope of comfort to our heart but one can give us freedom to not feeling at all.
Today...I am going back to all of this with a little bravery and hope that in time while travelling and knowing the different sides of the world, I was able to gather this drive to fight again. I wish and wish that maybe this time it will have a different ending....