Now you all must be wondering why have I given such a title to a poem? Well, catharsis means nothing but the purging of repressed emotions in the form of art, music or poetry. I have chosen the third.
Trapped
In the clouds of darkness
As I slip deeper
Into the crevices that hold unspoken battles,
Of realities and nightmares
That envelop me from all sides
Covering me with ashes
Of the lies that burnt me inside out.
The scent of the burning fire in my heart
Curls up into my nose, down my throat
Choking it, squeezing it tight with despair.
I want it to stop, I try to hold my breath
But it forces its way in and out
Against my will.
I try to fight these demons
That haunt me in these fires
Kindled with rage and hatred.
But as I keep fighting
They keep getting stronger
As though my fight
Fuels them with a renewed energy.
As I fight my way through
I spot an angel diving down from the pale blue sky,
Trying to lift me through.
If she clings on longer
I'm afraid she'll be lost too!
I plead her to let go.
And finally she does.
And when she does,
The ones I fear
Tear my flesh with the biting needle like fire of wrath
Spewing fire like a cascade of water gushing down a waterfall.
I beg whatever holds me here
To let me go.
But I'm trapped.
Dead, but not allowed to die
Alive but as good as dead.
So alone that once I'm awake
Far from the dreadful distress
I'm deserted by all.
There's pain, but there's reality too.
There's no going back.
I'm faced by the realities of life
Draping me savagely
In the irrefutable truths of lies.
I just keep holding on
Until the flashbacks are all over
Until the nightmares of my losses are done with.
But the sun rises each morning
Streaming through my window, each ray of light
Brings a promise that life can go on
No matter how bad our losses.
Every day is a recovery
That's healing me from the inside
Until I'll be free one day
Free of the terrors that knock the doors
Of my heart each night.
Plotting ways to break me down.
But one day when I'm stronger
I'll break through those forces
To a place where it's safe
Where dreams are sweet and tomorrows bring them true.
A place full of love
A place where nothing screams in my dreams
Where I'll be free of hatred and despair.
A place where I'll be happy.
And free of captivity.
A place where I can be safe from all evil.
A place of happiness and nothing more.
I survived.. Can you?