That's what I wanna be: a rockstar. You might think it's stupid, or think I'm out of my mind to have such an unrealistic dream. Especially since I reside in India and we all know that we have no rockstars here. But I still wanna be one and I'm sure there are thousands of people out there who have the same dream as mine; become a rockstar, perform at different venues day after day, night after night, have people screaming your name, wanting your autograph, your photograph, drive expensive cars, live in huge mansions.
I'm pretty sure all of us have heard Nickelback's song too. It goes something like this: Well we all just wanna be big rockstars and live in hilltop houses drivin fifteen cars. The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap, we'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat.
That's what I want. That's what I wish I had. That's what I'll be working for.
I am a drummer and let me tell you honestly, I know I am not a really great drummer. I personally know people who play better drums than me and practice more hours every day than I do. But I practice. I practice cause I wanna become better. . . And once I become better, I wanna be the best. But I am such a long way away from being the best that I sometimes feel that it's never gonna happen. It sometimes comes into my mind that I am wasting my time. I sometimes feel I would be better off studying and scoring well in my course, pursue higher studies and get a well paid job. But then another thought creeps in. The thought is not that complicated actually. This thought which creeps into my mind during such times is the thought everybody in the world should have every once in a while, just so that they are able to escape from the monotonous, everyday routine life with which they are fed up of. The thought is: fuck it.
Yes, that's what I say to myself. I say, "Fuck it. I love playing drums. I love making music. I love performing on stage and I love the simple feeling that someday, maybe people out there will know my name. Someday people out there might want to be like me. Someday some little guy or girl out there might look at me and say, 'I wanna be like him when I grow up.' "
That's what keeps me going. I imagine myself on stage with twenty thousand people watching me play, screaming my name. I imagine playing a drum solo. A solo so good that people go crazy. I hear them chanting, "Once more, once more, once more."
This is where I realize I am wasting my time writing something not even a single person is gonna read. So I am just gonna go practice now when I realize it's 11pm and I don't wanna wake people up from their slumbers. So I'm just gonna sign off and do random normal guy stuff. Cause that's what I am; a normal guy. And till the time I get my ass off the couch and practice like crazy, that's what I'm always gonna be. But I'm pretty sure that's not what I wanna be. Cause all I wanna be, is be a rockstar.