Loving you is perilous. It was like allowing the rough waves to draw me further away from the shore from where I once found comfort.
I didn't know how we easily got comfortable with each other - it just happened, like how the wave comes back at the shore. We shared a lot of things in common, we had endless talks at midnight, we had the room filled with laughter at day and you suddenly became my friend.
But just like any other stories, I was heedless of the fact that fate started to play games within my little heart. A game in which I already knew I wouldn't even have a chance to win but I still ended up risking everything.
Funny how I decieved myself that I wasn't hurting everytime you talk about the muse of your eyes but if there is a question I'd like to raise that would be..
"Why does it always have to be in my circle of friends?"
But the least thing I could do to save myself is to love you from afar because I am afraid,
I am afraid that I would hurt somebody else's feelings not knowing that I was subconciously hurting mine.
I am afraid that I would be left with the choice between being broken or to broke someone else.
I am afraid that I would become greedy of your affection that I might not think of what others might feel that's why I distanced myself.
I am afraid that I would need to let you go in order to save that friend which I considered as my little sister because she needs me more than you need me.
I am afraid that loving you would be my greatest downfall.
I am afraid that after you would know the truth you'll just turn out to be a guy who used to protect me.
So I chose to keep it to myself because that's the only I way I can hold your heart close to mine.
and lastly,
I am afraid that I would not be able to stop writing about you.
I don't know how to stop and overcome this fear but I would like to ask one last request,
Please stop feeding my hopes with sugarcoated bullshits and please stop confusing me.
- A liar and a coward imprisoned in other people's hands.