Suddenly my messenger message pop up,
And I saw your name.
"Hey..how are you? Drop your number."
A bright smile came on face.
I immediately replied," I am fine how are you?
And dropped my number.
Next message I receive was asking me
Let's meet.
Heart beats was the fastest ever I felt and beated in my life time.
No, it was not my first time love,
But yes it was the only person whom I truly wanted ever, never said a word for him to anyone not even anybody knew it I liked him.
In a second all the memories was just infront of my eyes.
It was like it all happened just yesterday still so fresh so beautiful and so sweet.
But it has been 8 years I have seen you, met you and got a chance to talk to you.
I have never waited for you knowing it you are not mine.
Never hope you to be mine.
But just that a single message has opened the door of hope in my heart and I forgot you can't be mine.
Suddenly I came out in reality again and read out your message "I replied yes we can meet, next it was you asking me to decide the place and we are meeting on Saturday"
It's been three days passed I haven't decided the place
Then my WhatsApp beep again and it was you again.
"Still not yet decided the place?" I smiled and replied "I did"
Lots of thoughts excitement and goose bumps what I am gonna wear what should I tell him what should I talk to him.
Finally the day came.
I have dressed to be my best, not to Impressed you but to look my best.
I reached late on my first date,
sorry It wasn't a date a meet up after a long time, a bit nervous a bit shy though
U never knew that I like you.
I was blushing when I saw you and then you hugged me n said "Hi" I smiled and says "hello".
We moved in and talked alot about our past life our break ups and ex's of each others. We laugh we smiled.
And then after a few drink we both were high.
I loosen up myself and so you did.
I told "Hey, I can't be round on round so just being straight I like you since our college time but could not say it because I couldn't hurt my friend. "
The next moment you look into my eyes and asked "why?why never said it? My answer was "never got a chance "
And then that dance and getting closer to you mix of lust and
love but we kissed each other,that touch of your lips
Like I was so thirsty for so long,
Felt like it all satisfied my thirst and my soul.
Then holding my hand that kissed on it I couldn't stop staring at you.
I was about to cry, but then I controlled myself and told my tears" hold on dear it can be only for today and you may cry rest of your life for this day."
Right at that moment I was the luckiest ever the most happiest ever on earth all I can see at that moment is you only you.
This is how we started that night was the bestest ever night in my life the most erotic,most romantic and most exciting one , which I never felt before.
We continued seeing each other,
Every moment I meet you that excitement is more.
I love you more, I wanted you more but deep inside I know you don't feel the same.
You don't want me to call you my boyfriend, and you denied it too, but why I don't feel it,
Why is your eyes don't say it?
Why I don't see it?
Or am I too blind to see and so dumb to feel?
Everytime you hugged me that is the most safest hug I feel,
Everytime you kissed my forehead I feel the most loved one,
Everytime I sleep in your arms the best dreams I have and best sleep I get.
I know I am not going to get answers but I learned to loved you like that, I know it is painful but I am in love with this pain.
May be complicated but it is the easiest way to be with you.
Just want to be with you as long as I can.
Because I lam in love with this pain.