I have a confession to make.
I hate you.
I hate the whole you. Your silky brown hair that’s pushed back. I hate your dark broody eyes that speaks so much. I hate your red kissable lips. I hate your pointed nose. I hate how perfect you can be. I hate how people can see your beauty. I hate how you hold that cigar in your hand. I hate how you smoke and kill your insides and not care about it. I hate how wild you become every time alcohol hits you. I hate how many girls linger on your surface everytime your feet reaches the dance floor. I hate your opinions about politics and life. I hate how accurate you can be.
I have a confession to make.
I regret the day I loved you.
I regret the day I laid my eyes on you. You by far, is the biggest mistake I had in my entire life. I regret putting so much attention and effort to you when all you did was to ignore me all the time. I regret the day I smiled at you and told you I liked you. I regret the day I gave you the sun when the moon suffocated you. I regret the day I burned trying to give you light. I regret the day I got my hopes so high when you smiled back. I regret the day I cried my heart out when you told me you don’t like me. I regret the day I hated myself for not being good enough. I regret the day I met you. I regret the feelings I’ve invested to you and I regret the day I didn’t harvest those. I regret every words you taught me because it’ll always remind me how beautiful you are. I regret all the memories we shared because it haunts me everytime I remember them. I regret the day loving you.
I have a confession to make.
I lied.
I don’t hate your hair. It looks so sexy when it’s pushed back. And your eyes, damn your eyes. My favorite part of you. It’s like a mystery that I need to solve. It’s something that challenges me and God knows how much I love adventures. Your lips looks ridiculously sultry especially when it reaches your corners. I always lust on them and imagine how sweet they can taste when my lips can finally touch them. I love how perfect you can be even without doing anything. I really hate it when you smoke because I really hate smokers but you are an exception. You are my favorite sin and I wouldn’t mind ending up with you. Your opinions are something that interests me. I love how you speak because it shows how bright you are. You always leave me in awe after speaking you know? I wonder how words becomes so beautiful even the worst ones after you use them.
I don’t regret the day I laid my eyes on you. You are still one of the most beautiful sceneries I will always come back for because you are exceptional. Looking at you takes my breath away. You are like an indigenous art. People will wonder why you are called beautiful but once they know your history, they would know why. You are remarkable and meaningful. And I would never forget the day I met you. Because it’s the day I thanked God for sending an angel here on earth to look after me. And I’m sorry if I get burned trying to give you the sun, I forgot you are a star and you shine brightly even with no light on. The memories we shared together are the things I’ll treasure for life. They will always be meant for safe keeping. I will always keep them in the bottom of my heart and then the moment they started to haunt me is just a reminder that I miss them. That I miss you. I don’t regret the day I didn’t harvest my feelings for you because it still grows.
I have a confession to make.
I’m sorry.
For not being persistent. Sorry if I gave up so easily. Sorry if I’m too weak. Cowardice took over me and I lost all my control. Sorry if I can’t keep up with my own self. I’m just like this most of the times. The product of being murky. Of being too gray. I’m sorry for all the stolen stares, endless social media stalks, and check ups. I can’t help it, you know. I’m sorry for still caring for you despite of everything. Sorry if I told everyone that I no longer like you. Sorry for being untrue. I’m sorry.
I have a confession to make.
I still love you, It didn’t stopped and till now I do.