Launchorasince 2014
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Confession of My Confusion


Us was never true

Us was with no clue

Indeed, there never was

A story of us

You came into my life

To slaughter my heart with a knife

You made me believe in destiny

But you let me drown in agony

I wished I had the strength

To forget you till time's length

But I love you more and more

I'll still wait for you at my door

I want to move on

But the pain will exceed to another ton

I can't stop loving

Someone who is capable of leaving

I can't stop leaving

Someone who is worth loving

Someone who loves another

Someone who will shoulder a boulder

To cross one's border

Unfortunately, that border isn't mine

Someone like you will never cross a line

For someone like me even if I waited long

Cause that is nature's call, a heartbreaking song

Some learn to love those who never love them back

Some learn to ignore those who always knock

Sometimes, they are too blind to even notice it

But not noticing it makes them live another bit

Coz it makes them realize that the pain they suffer

Can even make them stronger

Pain isn't really that hurtful

It can also be helpful

If loving you is prolonged pestilence

Then I find my own permanence

I know you're not for me

I know we can never be

Loving you is what makes me me

Letting you go is the reality I don't want to see

So I choose to think of you

Like stranded thoughts stuck like glue

The puzzle of you will always be inside my head

And I won't let u know from bloodshed to deathbed

I'll just pretend that it's over in the outside

Even if the inside and the outside still collide

Outside my mind, you are no longer a guillotine

Inside my head, you'll remain a clandestine

Surely, you'll never know

That you still are the bow to my arrow

Sadly, you'll never know

how far this will go

Inside of me, you're but a destruction

Coz I can never feel your love even in a small fraction

I just keep you there to unlock my fear

My fear of just wiping you off with a tear

You can never beg me to unchain you

Coz you are free to explore something new

Something you never knew

Something you'll never share to a few

You, dominating my innerness, are nothing but a vibration

Speechless and soul-less, a light mem'ry in motion

But even if you're no longer flesh and blood

I'll still cherish you like the best love I never had

This I promise you,

This I say without starting anew