Confused Like Love

Love is something I want and something I don't want.
A lover is someone I want to have and someone I don't want to have.
I read these sentences again and wondered,
"Is it something I need? Or someone I should be with?"
A fling, an infatuation, the fantasies I fear...
The other side of love is not hate, for me.
There's a hollow in my heart that I think I know how to fill but then this fear residing along inside keeps me at bay.
Have I to cry or have invisible tears?
Have I to get hurt and feel foolish most times?
Have I to endure the pain alongside the enjoyment of feeling happiness?
The reality, the forms, the fallacies, the vast presence of love both entice me and repulse me.