It was a bright shiny summer day, and I woke up in the very morning to go out and play with my youngest brother. We played football for a while, and then the evil side of my thoughts showed up and suggested that we play something more serious. I took a sharp metal tool and tried to use it on my brother’s neck trying to imitate what I’d seen in a previous movie. I was ten years old then, so I had no idea how dangerous what I did could be. Before the play turned to a tragedy, a cousin of mine intervened and took the tool from my hand, and a harsh merciless slap that made me see stars on my head followed. I cried eventually for sometimes ,but he came and tried to explain things to me as simple as he could make it ,but I was not willing to buy his apology so easily ,so I run to my room ,slammed the door shut ,and sobbed until I fell deep in sleep.
Mom came knocking the door of my room, and calling out my name, but I didn’t answer her calls for I was so asleep. She became worried, and thought that I was dead. Yes, the thought of death hunted her like a gloomy shadow. She sat in front of my room’s door, and started crying unto a brother of mine came and saw her in such painful an agony. She told him what had happened and asked him to crush to door, and so he did. He went through the door and had it crushed.
I finally woke up hastily, so surprised and shocked that it took me so long to finally conceive what had happened. Mom then, came and hugged me so tight with tears in her eyes. It was the most painful scene I’d ever seen in my entire life.
A day after, in the early morning, Mom came and woke me up saying something that I thought was a mere joke, but it turned out later to be a neat truth.
She said “your cousin Ahmed passed away along with his young girl in a car accident earlier today…”
I didn’t believe her, so I continued my sleep unto she came again, this time she was sobbing and I’d no intention to disbelieve her emotions. I realized she was speaking the truth.
I jumped from my bad and went to my uncle’s house, where I saw the first heart breaking scene in my youth. Everyone was mourning and crying ,my aunt ,mom ,and even my tough and strong Dad ,my uncle and my other cousins ,brothers and sisters ,they were all agonizing on the death of my beloved cousin Ahmed . I couldn’t help it, so I joined them.
Even then ,I didn’t yet believe that he was gone ,I couldn’t believe that I’m not seeing him any longer but in his funeral ,I insisted that I see his face for one last time ,they did allow me ,for they knew how close he was to me ,and how much love and respect I showed to him .
When I went with them to the funeral, I suddenly stopped before entering the place where his frozen body was. I’d thought that I could see him in such helpless a state ,but then realized that I couldn’t . I run back home ,entered my chamber ,and cried so loud ,but I didn’t care who was hearing me any longer . I was sure he was gone ,I wanted to follow him ,but I couldn’t . He was more or like my second father ,and my dearest brother ,his loss was so painful and heart aching to me .
it’d been only a day before ,when I saw him ,talked to him ,hated him for slapping me ,then loved him afterwards for his apology . I played with his nine moth old girl “Raya” ,and tried to make her love me . She did, and I loved her too, I loved carrying her in my small hands and making her laugh! I loved being there with her when she cried ,and I felt so proud when I was the only person who could make her smile again ,and forget about her cries . I was even more proud when her Mom told me that she looked so much like me.
Even now when I think of her death, tears run down my cheeks, and I can’t just help it holding them.
It’s been eight years now ,since I last saw him, but his indelible picture ,his lovely face ,and his inspiring ,ambitious and hopeful smile will never be torn out from my mind and heart .