Dear Romeo with an S

Dear Romeo with an S,

I have loved you unrequitedly.

I. 

Unrequitedly - not in the dictionary, but unrequitedly because you were never meant to be mine and I'm never meant to be yours.

Selflessly, I gave all of my heart to you without you knowing. So selfless I thought myself a saint.

Lost in your brown eyes, lost in your soft smile, lost in your deep voice, lost in everything about you.

You were wonderfully you, I'm whatever I could be.

Dear Romeo with an S,

I have loved you blindly.

II.

Blindly, as I was standing there, I tried to catch your eye but she just blindly sitting there with all her glory, caught your eye.

Unfair, she'll never know you like I knew you. And soon she will. 

Fate stronger than effort, you ended up with her.

Effortlessly, with fate and destiny, you won her-she got you.

Dear Romeo with an S,

I lost you to her on my 18th birthday.

III.

18th candles on a beautifully decorated cake, I lost her to you.

Crying bitter tears, eating sweet cake, laughing soulless laughs, I celebrated my birthday knowing I lost to fate.

And then you were happy.

And then I was sad.

And then there was no text messages.

And then there was no calls.

And nothing.

Nothing was left - No, Anger.

I cling to anger.

Dear Romeo with an S,

I turned my love to anger.

IV.

Anger is when I realized - a "Friend" is what I'll ever be.

That - "I don't want to be in a relationship because I want to focus on my studies." BULLSHIT.

You could have just hurt me with the truth than bringing my hopes up with a lie.

"You weren't my type. I just saw you as a friend. I don't like short overweight girls." - That would've sound better.

I don't know.

I just don't know anymore.

I just want to be angry at you but damn, love was greater.

I hope you were just mean.

Just do bad things.

Because I want to hate you.

Damn you.

Dear Romeo with an S,

I know you could never be mine.

V.

They said time could heal everything.

They said time numbs the pain.

They said with time, feelings pass.

LIE.

It didn't heal a thing.

It didn't numb the pain.

My feelings didn't pass.

BUT

I still admire you from a far.

I still do even if I know you could never be mine.

Dear Romeo with an S,

I am a character of your story.

VI.

If your life was a story:

We started as friends.

We ended as friends.

We, we're friends.

She was the main girl.

I was the extra character you never knew that liked you.

The character that the author has to put because it wasn't time for him to put her.

The character you'll immediately forget as you move on with your life.

I am that character.

At least I am a character of your story.

Dear Romeo with an S,

I run out of words to say.

VII.

I guess it ends but it won't.

For I will still search you in every man I meet.

With love, still,  the unlikely Juliet with an E.