If only you were here right beside me looking in my eyes you would know how I really feel because you make me happy when I don’t even want to smile. You will see my soul if you would just take a look. You would see how much I am in love with you. I do not etch for your constant presence in my life but I would just love if it will happen.
If you would just lay beside me, watching the stars with me and we just go on talking about how life should be and then suddenly you will realize that you have indeed fallen for me in that second and in that moment. The life that you have always wanted is a one that is possible with me.
If you see, we aren’t hurdles in each other’s path, we are complimentary. You can hold me when I crumble and I will take you when you fall. We will be this perfect pair who just knows each other too well and are there for each other.
You say we are just friends but I don’t think so. Of course I know we are friends and I love that we are friends. But I am of the opinion that we have never been just friends. There was something intense from the first day. Remember that first ride; remember that first late night chat. You had called me at around 10 in the night and we were talking till 6 in the morning. We never ran out of things to tell each other. We never have. We just fit in you know. We understand each other’s darkest side and we know each other’s brightest. We have been so much different than the rest of the friends I have ever seen.
What kind of friends does not tell other friends that they are talking for long hours in the night? You never tell people you are with me that whenever you are with me. You never tell what talks we had. We have those personal kinds of jokes that only we know. We always tease each other in front of others but take a look at each other’s face if we are going too far. We just can’t stay without talking to each other. We have talked for hours straight discussing every stupid topic of the world. We don’t hesitate in talking about things that we can’t even talk about with our best friends and roommates. We talk about life, feelings, sex, love, grades, political issues, president, women empowerment, democracy, teachers, clothes, colors, music, smiles, body, features, people, relationships and the way we have screwed them up, the way I make my hair, to the way my eyes are, the way you smile, the color of your eyes, you skinny body and my healthy one. There are so many things that are still left that we talk about. So many things that we have experienced together. The secret meetings, the bike rides, the coffees, the walks, the brewberry’s, the expectations, the love of friends, the care that you have given me, the life that you painted for me when I will be happy and the picture you drew of me out of words to say that I am beautiful. I have actually started to believe that I am. I really am because you said so.
Who does all those things with friends, love?
Who does all of that with a girl who’s just a friend?
But maybe I am just reading too much into things and trying to label it as love. But that is just because I am so hopelessly in love with you. I am and I will be in love with you for a long time at least the time that we are here. I will love you even if you don’t love me back. Every love has a beginning, but it is not necessary that it begins from both ends, it can begin from one side and stay like that, and it may or may not reach its purpose. But that does not mean it wasn’t love it was and will always be love.
“A girl and a boy can be just friends. But at some point of time, one of them or both of them will fall in love with the other, maybe too early, may be too late, may be a different times and may be just for forever. It will never cease to be love, it will always be love because when some day one of them opens the box of memories that love will return and renew the prints of it and it will be just like the first time it happened. The only wish I have is that there are no what ifs and if only in those memories. They will pain. It will hurt to think that life might have been something else had we had a chance. If only we would have taken a chance and let that love breathe, our life could have been something else. We might not have been together after all this time but surely there would not be the regret.”
If only you could read this and just think about it.
‘I wonder if I ever cross your mind because you happen to pass mine all the time.’