Our family is known as one of the famous bloggers. We used to feature travel vlogs and commentaries.
My sister and I are the active admins of our blog. We never imagine that we can use that thing that enjoy us to earn money.
Until my sister commit suicide.
I don't know where to start. I don't know if I will do blogs again. In her suicide note, she told me to continue blogging to distract myself from sadness. She told me to go to different places with Mom and Dad. She told me it's no one's fault. It is in her.
She also told me to upload her farewell video. Sad reactions came rushing.
But, as she wants, I tried making happy blogs. I go to different places. I made several blogs in 3 weeks.
One day, I monitored the views and reactions to know what should I do next but I only see sad reactions, condolences and pity.
I'm sad because she's gone but she wants me to fight. I tried to be happy but how am I gonna do that if everyone keeps seeing the sad part?
Why did they always bring back the one that is gone? They didn't even leave a
comment for me. For the one who is alive.
I want to move on. I have to. I need to pull back myself together again and continue living.
Her depression doesn't reflect any of us. I don't need people to watch our videos with pitiful eyes. I don't need condolences everyday! I don't want sad reactions every time. I'm still alive. We lost someone but we are still doing our best to carry on and yet you keep on sending us your condolences as if you're giving it in advance in case we commit suicide.
We are not suicide. Depression is not our last name.