~He is my love, and loves someone. The problem is that someone isn't me.~
♧Niall's Pov♧
-“Oh no, I am late again!”- I said while I was running down the stairs. I was supposed to be practicing with the guys about 10 minutes ago, but I woke up too late and I couldn’t get any breakfast. I opened the red door in front of me, they were all there waiting for me.
–“S-sorry again guys!”- I said feeling bad. It was the third time this month it happened to me.
-“Hey! You are late again. Oh well, it’s you after all.”- Harry said with a smile in his face. He was always like that, usually a careless person just like me. But don’t you dare to make him angry! He is scary when he is mad, he is a different person! Maybe when he is mad, he becomes a dark Harry or something.
-“Hey there Blondie!”- I heard someone in the other side of the room. It was Liam. A really nice guy, with a big heart. If I ever have a problem, he is the first one of the group to now.
I saw Louis smiling as always. He was sitting beside Harry. He was such a funny person! And I will tell you a secret, sometimes I think he and Harry are in love. They are always together, hugging, laughing and telling jokes that only they understand. They usually said “I love you” one to the other and they even live together. I wonder if something happens between them….
-“Well, let’s start then.”- And that one was Zayn…Zayn Malik my unreachable love. He is taller than me, (everyone is), he has hazel eyes and black hair. He has such a perfect face. He has many tatoos, but they all look amazingly sexy on him. But he can’t be mine…he is dating a beautiful girl. Beautiful outside, but horrible in her heart.
None one knows about my feelings for Zayn…And probably, none one will ever know…I don’t want to cause trouble to him. He is so happy with her, I just can’t change that.
-“Yes! Lets get started!”- I said, trying to sound confident, but suddenly, my hungry stomach started begging for food. Everyone started laughing even myself. I forgot I haven’t eat anything. But while we were all laughing, Zayn took a bag out of his backpack.
-“Take this Niall, you need to eat something before we get started.”- He hanged out a half-eaten chicken sandwich. Oh God, oh God. I took it and smiled shyly.
–“Thank you!”- I said. We were so near one from the other. I could see little hair growing up in his chin. Sooner or later, he was going to have a beard. I could also notice his beautiful pink lips. He was so perfect…so beautiful…
-“Well, well. Are we here to flirt or to sing you lovebirds?”- Harry said that and my checks turned red. Oh God! My face was burning it was so embarrassing.
-“Ha-Harry! What the hell are you saying?”- Harry stared laughing. He was usually like that, but that wasn’t a good moment to hear his jokes.
-"Harry, you shouldn't be talking about lovebirds."- Liam said looking at Harry and Louis. Harry blushed and Louis laughed.
–“Don’t worry Niall, let him be, you know he is usually like that.”- Zayn smiled and started walking to the recording room, where we usually practice. We all walked toward that room. We stayed there the whole day. It was late and dark when we finished. Only the light of the lampposts was there.
We all said goodbye. Louis and Harry went together and “jokingly”, they hold each other hands.
Liam took out his car keys and he turned on the car.
–“Do you want me to take you home?”-I was going to accept Liam’s drive, but before I could answer, Zayn said a different thing.
–“It’s okay palm. We will stay in a hotel nearby. Remember we have to be early tomorrow. If I don’t take care of this guy, he is going to forget his breakfast again.”- I was in shock. I was going to spend the night with Zayn?! Liam started at me and then he let a small laugh. I don’t want to know how did my face looked at that moment…I was so happy, but at the same time I was embarrassed. I never though Zayn would say that. We had slept together in the pasta, yes, but we were with the other guys, we have never been alone just the two of us.
–“Okay, see you tomorrow then!”- With those words, Liam leaved.
-“There is a nice hotel near the train station. Lets go there.”- Zayn stared walking in the opposite direction
. –“Fine”- I said. It was so cold that I started sneezing. Zayn noticed that, and he took off his sweater and he gave it to me. He didn’t said anything, so I just took it.
–“Thanks.”- That was the only thing I could say. He was so nice, he cared so much about me, that’s why I loved him so much. We stayed in silence, so I decided to break the silence and I chose a random topic.
-“Zayn…”-
-“Yes?”-
-“We didn’t bring extra cloths…so…what are going to wear tomorrow?”-
-“We can take the extra cloths we have in the studio, nothing difficult.”-
-“Oh yeah, you are right”-
We stayed in silence again. I had forgotten about those cloths. We never wear them, only in case of an emergency, that’s why we leave them at the studio. But that wasn’t exactly what I was worried about. I was thinking more about…what are we going to wear while sleeping?
We arrived to the hotel. It wasn’t too luxurious, but it was nice and comfy. But it stopped being a nice place when everyone in the hotel recognized us. I was asking for a free room while Zayn was trying to make the fan girls stay calm. When I got the keys, we said goodbye and we walked as quick as we could to our room.
–“Thanks God anyone followed us”- I said while I was looking outside the room’s door
. –“Yeah, I know”- I closed the door and I turned around…I almost got an erection just by looking at the scene in front of my eyes. Zayn was taking his clothes off. He stayed just with his black boxers. I could see his big thing between his legs. If he is that big when he is calm…I don’t want to see him in the mood! He had big muscles and many tattoos that made him look so incredibly erotic. And the room didn’t help too much. There was only one bed there. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO SLEEPT THERE?!
I started doing the same thing. It was so embarrassing. I got inside the bed just like Zayn. I was shivering, and again, Zayn noticed it. He turned around and hugged me. It was a sweet and nice hug. But instead of making me happy, it made me want to cry. I knew that he gave more special hugs to Perrie, his girlfriend, and thinking that made my heart broke into small pieces
. –Good night Nialler-he said
–…Good night…Zayn-
I wish…I wish we could stay like this forever…
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Three
~Doing things you like together is another way of
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I was walking down the street with Perrie. We were holding hands, but she was using her phone, smiling to everyone except for me...She is always like this, I don't understand why is she so distant.
-"Honey"- She said. I looked at her big blue eyes and smiled.
-"Yes, babe?"-
-"Lets go and eat something"-
-"Want some ice cream, beauty?"-
-"Much calories, I prefer eating some meat with vegetables and wine"-
-"Fine love lets go to that restaurant we went some weeks ago"-
-"Fine"-
Uh...I hate meat so fucking much. She always prefers to go to places with meat, sometimes I think she does that to make me get annoyed but I never have the oportunity to choose where to go . I just let her do whatever she wants. I shouldn't do that. I should tell her how I feel but somehow I don't feel comfortable doing so.
We walk toward the Italian restaurant...If I was with Niall I would be eating at Nando's with Niall.
*~*~*~*~*
♧Niall's Pov♧
After Zayn left, I went to talk with Liam, but I wanted to scream. He chose that blond bitch over me! What does she have that I don’t? Oh right…Zayn isn’t gay nor bi, so ‘am pretty fucked up here. I know he loves her but she is with him just for fame. And why did she know we were having a break? Whatever, Li can come with me. He is always there for me when I need it. Liam was checking his twitter while drinking a glass of water.
-"Hey Ni!"- He said with a smile that made me feel better that how I was before. It was strange, he started staring at me with a worried face.
-"Ni, is everything ok?"- Did my face was looking so bad? I didn't even notice I had my eyes cristaliced. Suddenly, tears of pain started to accumulate in the back of my blue eyes. I looked down to my feet and then looked up.
-"Yeah...more or less"- I said but I could hear my voice break. My eyes blurred, but why would I cry? I knew since the start that he would never love me. Liam stood up and walked toward me. He gave me a hug, one of his special and lovely hugs.
-"Did something happen?"-
-"'Am fine Li. Thanks. I just can't tell you now. Maybe sometime in the future I may tell you, but now I can't."- He looked worried, but how could I possibly tell him am gay? I would cause troubles to the band and...Specially, I would cause Zayn more troubles than the ones he has. I wouldn't be able to live knowing he hates me.
-"Can you come to Nando's with me Li?"-
-"Sure Ni-" He put his hand on my shoulders and we start walking outside. It was getting cloudy so Liam went for his car keys. We drove to Nando's and we stayed there a long while. It was fun being with him. Liam helped me to forget everything, but sooner or later I was going to go back to reality.
-"The tour is starting in less than two months Ni. Am really going to miss hanging around, practicing and doing nothing. Well, everything for our fans"- That's right. Am spending the next six months with Zayn and the lads. Our first concert is on April 25 in Colombia, and the last one is on October 5 in Miami. We have to go all around the world. This feels like a dream! Singing in so many stadiums every night. Going everywhere. This is the second best thing that could ever happen to me. The first one is obviously dating Zayn but we all know that is never going to happen.
We were speaking calmly about our next months, the places where we were going to go, and suddenly I thought about Harry and Louis. Where the hell are those guys?
-“Li, where is Larry?”-
-“Uh? Larry?”-
-“Yeap, it’s easier to call them Larry than calling them by their names.”- He laughed a lot. But it’s true! They are always together! So, instead of calling them by their full names it is easier to call the Larry.
-“Louis is with El and Harry is probably sleeping or doing whatever a Harry does.”-
-“They aren’t together?!”- woow, this is weird.
-“No, Lou said he wanted to see El, and after that Harry just left the studio and he returned home. He looked mad though, not exactly mad but very disappointed”- We both stayed in silence. It started feeling uncomfortable, but we were probably thinking the same. Is Harry sad because of Lou and El's relationship? If he is then we are on the same boat, but I don’t want anyone to go to the same thing I have to go through every time I see Zayn kissing Perrie, playing with her hair, giving her pet names, just acting like a normal couple. You feel an aching pain in your chest. The saddest thing is knowing that the person you love is never going to love you back. Knowing you have gotten cero opportunities with him…it feels so frustrating, so confusing, it’s just so unfair. Just because people are taught to be straight…you know you have gotten no opportunities with that person. But the worst feeling of all, is wishing that you had been born as a girl instead of a boy, just to be allowed to love someone.
Even if we loved each other, Modest! Would never allow us to date other band member. It's written in the contract we singed four years ago. Sometimes I think I may have been better if I had never become a singer.
-“Li, may I ask you something? But this has to stay between both of us, ok?”- He stopped drinking his coke and looked at my eyes with a serious expression.
-“Sure Ni. What is it?”-
-“Do…you think that Harry maybe…you know…in love with Lou? Do you think Larry may be real?”- He stared at me and then he looked down. He is thinking about it very seriously.
-“I think…I think it may be real. But…Lou is dating someone and he has said himself that Harry is just his best mate. Nothing deeper. You should even remember the day Lou twetted saying Larry was bulshit. That’s Lou’s side, but Harry…he is always overprotective and over caring. Like a boyfriend. He gets jealous easily and he is always hugging and kissing Lou. He has dated many girls, yeah, but when we were at the X Factor and he said Lou was his first love…I think he really meant what he said.”- His chocolate eyes were looking at me. I just couldn’t give a proper answer to that. It was true. Harry acted like Lou’s boyfriend, but for Lou he is just a close friend.
-“If Harry…or someone in the band is gay…would you get annoyed or something?”- When I asked this a felt like something was moving on my stomach, it felt like a godamn Zoo. ‘Am I stupid? I CAN’T ASK SUCH A QUESTION! Basically, ‘am saying 《I love sucking dick but ‘am afraid of telling it to anybody》
-“No, not really.”- He said. I was shocked. Could I possibly tell Liam about my feelings? No…better if I don’t. Or at least not now.
*~*~*~*~*
☆Zayn's Pov☆
Perrie left earlier than what I though, because Jade wanted to go shopping with her. I walked down the street and something called my attention. It was a jewellery. They had a beautiful silver, weeding ring full of diamonds. It looked so amazing, just for Perrie. I entered the shop and bought the wedding ring. Next time I go on a date with Perrie am definably going to propose to her.
I had the red ring box in my pocket. I should ask someone how I should propose. I guess I would talk with Niall. Also I have to apology for leaving him alone when were going to eat out.
With that, I walked down the street with the wind in my face. Something feels wrong in my heart. What may it be?
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Four
~Some people will always try to take you down. Bare with it, or loss to them.~
♧Niall's Pov♧
I walked with Liam to his house. After eating in Nandos, we left the car on the studio and we went walking. It isn't too far away from the studio anyways, he hates being late. I am going to spend the night with him just like we used to do before we obtained more fame. We all used to live together even before that, but now, we live in our homes. Only Larry, but sometimes I think Lou may want to start living with El in the future, leaving Harry behind. What will Harry do if that happens is something I not so sure about. He will probably start living alone or move to another smaller flat. Liam looks to enjoy the way his love life is going, so probably he isn't thinking about living with Sophia yet. And...There is Zayn...He looks like he really loves being with Perrie. Well, that's logic. She is nice, she's a singer and she has a great personality, or at least in front of cameras. I know just how she is. She is selfish, and she uses Zayn for fame. She always acts cold with him when none one is looking.
-"Ni, is something wrong?"- I looked up at Liam. He looked concerned so I just decided to tell him a part of what I was thinking.
-"Not at all, you know, I was thinking about the Larry stuff and then I thought about Perrie. Li...I know this isn't something of our buisness...but what do you think of Perrie?"- I asked shyly. If Liam doesn't like my question he might get pretty upset with a good reason. I just act like if I want to break up every single paring in the band! But I just think there is something better for him! Well, I don't know anything about Larry's sentimental situation but at least I know a lot about Zerrie. He looked at me. Not upset, but also not very convinced.
-"I just...I don't know...Perrie is so nice and sweet with him. She always treats him nicely and she always has an excellent sense of humor."- Yeah, treats him nicelt. You mean his wallet, right?
-"But sometimes I think she isn't good enough for him you know...I think he deserves much better thatn that."- He looked with one of I know your secret look. You are right, she isn't good enough. She is a...wich, just to avoid saying too many bad words inside my head. I have to change that habit of mine...
-"Li...can I tell you something? But please promise me you won't get mad...promise me that you won't hate me after this..."-
-"Uh? Of course Ni! Is something wrong?"- I am definitely going to tell him...I know I can thrust him...I know it perfectly. He won't judge me, or at least I am going to pray for him to accept me after I tell him this.
-"Li...I like"- I can do this, I know I can.
-"Zayn?"- I feminine voice was heard behind us. I got petrified. My blood was cold and my body was unable to move. We both turned around to see the last person I wanted to see in this moment. A tall blond girl whose name you know perfectly...It was Perrie. Liam looked shocked, not because he just heard I liked my band mate, but because Perrie was following us since who knows when. Second akward thing, First, she knows we are taking a break, and then she now where are am I. Is this girl stalking me or something?
-"Perrie, what the heck! Were you following us?!"- Liam was now mad. I know, we were talking about Zayn and her and their private life. That's bad, bit it's even worse to be following someone.
-"So what I though was true. You are into my boyfriend!"- The word my was almost screamed by her. She walked toward me, and I had to take a couple of steps back. Liam walked in front of me to protect me.
-"He never said he liked Zayn. I have been with him the whole time. That's a lie Perrie. Please don't cause a problem with something that isn't true!"-
-"You are defending this fagot?! FINE! But let me warm you Horan, don't dare to lay your hands over my boyfriend. He is completely straight, and there is nothing you can do to make him fall for you, because he is straight."- The way she pronounced that last word made my eyes water. I just looked to my feet, while Liam told her something I couldn't understand. She just coursed him back and walked away. Li gave me his sun glasses for me to cover my red eyes. We walked as quickly as we could until we reached the flat. Liam closed the door and gave me a comforting hug. I started to cry again, but this time I cried even more.
-"Shhhh. It's ok love. Ni, don't cry sweetheart."- He picked me up in brige style and took me to his big room. He put me inside the white blankets so I could cuddle in his chest. He took his cellphone and called Harry.
-"Harry, mate we are sorry. We won't be able to go to practice today. No, no we are ok...yeah just...just something happened. Thanks mate! Please tell Lou and Zayn. Ok fine, Bye!"- He clicked the end call bottom and he turned it off. He hugged me and turned around to my side.
-"So...would you like to talk about this, or do you prefer to left it like this?"- He asked. He looked so worried that I just couldn't bear to leave him without an explanation. Although there isn't much an explanation to give.
-"I prefer to talk about Li..."- I said. He accepted the fact. I am gay...but I guess he has many questions to ask so I am just going to answer them one by one.
-"So...you are gay, right?"-
-"Yes, ever since high school"- It was a quick answer, he looked somehow uncomfortable hugging me, but he decided to hug me tighter. He is never going to leave just because he knows I like to suck dicks.
-"Seriously mate?! What about Holly and that Barbara girl?"- I just couldn't stop a laugh to get out of my mouth.
-"Well, when I was 13 and I kissed that French girl it felt good and I was nervous...yeah but I just didn't find it so interesting. When I entered high school it was a male school. So I saw boxers and porn around a lot. I found out I was gay because once when I was changing cloths with the other guys I saw them na-...uh...I think you know the rest...It's a bit uncomfortable telling this you know...and I guess you aren't that comfortable either."- He laughed but he just kept staring at me, waiting for me to continue telling him the rest of the story.
-"I dated Holly to see if I was so turned off by girls, and she definitely made get the worst turn off someone could ever get. The rest of the girls I dated were just to get to know them better, but I just love one person..."-
-"So you...love Zayn?"- He asked while he rubbed my hair.
-"Liam, Holly was just using me, and Barbara was a beard to make the media get away from my private life. Ever since I met you guys at the X Factor I had liked Zayn. I guess I just have to be more serious about the people I fall in love with. He is obviously straight, and he can date any girl he wants over the planet."- It hurted so much to talk about this, but at the same time I felt a relief on my heart. Like if the weigh I was carrying over my shoulders was partly taken away from me.
-"...I knew it..."- He said softly, almost as a whisper. But that made me get nervous. Was I so obvious?!
-"Wait, what?! 'Am I that obvious?!"- I asked scared.
-"No Ni, actually you can hide it very well. It's just...I see you all as my brothers, and I had learned how to differentiate the way you act and express yourselves. I always knew you didn't liked any of the models you flirted with, but whenever you fooled with Zayn you became shy and your cheeks turned pink. It isn't easy to notice that though."- This is why he is Daddy Direction. Only he could give such an exact explanation of everything I do.
-"Is there something else you want to ask Li?"- I looked expectantly at him and he tried to clear his throat.
-"Ha-have you ever fi-find me a-tractive?"- He asked and he looked like if he was about to hide his face in a hole.
-"JESUS! OBIUSLY NOT MATE!"- I said exaggerating everything just to make it clear I just see him as a very close friend. I won't denied. He has a beautiful toned body and a great pesonality...but somehow I always end up comparjing him to Zayn...and I always end up choosing Zayn.
-"WHY NOT?! AM ATRACTIVE!"- First I was shocked, and then I rusted into an unstoppable laugh. We both laughed a lot a hugged each other. I knew he was obviously joking to break the awkward atmosphere that was surrounding us, and he made it damn good. I really enjoy a lot being with Li. Thanks God I have someone to whom I can tell about everything without being judged or laughed at.
*~*~*~*~*
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I was walking in the crowed street. People recognized me and took hundred pictures of me, but I am used to it by now, so I just didn't gave it importance. My cellphone started ringing. It as Harry calling me, so I just answered to see what he needed.
-"Hi Harry, what's up?"-
-"Zayn mate, don't come back to the studio. Li and Ni can't come here. Looks like something happened, but Liam just wouldn't tell me what happened so I guess I am going to go back."-
Something happened to Niall and Liam? And none of them has called me yet? What the hell is happening here?
-"Are you serious? None of them called me. I will text them both later to see what happened. Thanks for telling me Hazz, I guess I will just go back then."-
-"Weren't you with Perrie mate? Want to come with me to my flat?"-
-"Sure Hazz, just give me some minutes to get to the studio. See you there."- With that I ended my call with Harry and as quickly as I could I texted Niall and Liam.
To: Nialler-Leeyum
-3:24p.m-
Lads, did something happened? Text me or call me as soon as you can.
I turned off my cellphone, and I put it on my back pocket and started walking to the studio to pick up Harry. I reached there and used my keys to open the locked door to avoid any type of unnecessary visits inside. I walked toward the living, but I found something that shocked me completely. Perrie was arguing with Harry about something. Wasn't she shopping?
-"Harry tell me where in hell is Zayn!"-
-"I just told you I DON'T KNOW! How did you enter here anyways?!"-
-"Are you in that faggot's side as well? TELL ME NOW STYLES"-
I was astonished, because they both looked so upset. What happened? I was gone for less than 3 or 4 hours and now everything is messed up.
-"Perrie, Harry what's happening?"-
-"Tell your girlfriend to leave me alone! She has been here for more than 15 minutes asking where you were. See, I told you! HE WASN'T HERE!"- She didn't paid much attention to Harry though. She just walked toward me in such an angry way that I decided to take a few steps back. I have to hide her wedding ring as well, but what will I do if she finds it? In this situation I should concentrate in what the hell 'am I supposed to do.
-"Why didn't you answered any of my calls, nor my texts?!"- She looked annoyed and stressed for something.
-"So-sorry I turned it off and I haven't checked it since then. I thought you were shopping"- I said trying to calm her down, but It didn't work that much.
-"I was, but then I saw both of your "friends" walking down the street. I was going to say hi, but I heard the most disgusting thing I ever heard. Do you want to know what is it, honey?"- Harry had a "What the fuck" look, and I was in the same state he was. Two friends? Does she mean Liam and Niall? I couldn't do anything but to nod and hear what she had to say.
-"Your friend Niall, isn't such a good friend babe. You know why? Because he is after dick. He admitted it to Liam, and I hear it all."- I was shocked, confused, astonished, and whatever fits with my feeling right now. Harry's eyes showed a confused expression, but after that, it became serious...and pained? My moth dropped open, and I frowned. Is this true?
-"And your slut friend, isn't after whoever offers him his dick, oh no. He is after YOURS"-
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 5: He Is The Cockslut
~Things can't never be hiden forever.~
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I couldn't say a word after that declaration. Harry was standing still staring at me, and Perrie had her arms crossed. I didn't know what scared me the most. To know that my band mate, and one of the people that I spend most time with may be after my Willy, or the fact that my girlfriend followed two of my best mates and evesdroped to their conversation.
-"I told you, Zayn, he is after you! You have to keep your distance!"- My distance, from Niall? There is no fucking way in this world 'am ever going to do that. He has always been there for me and I will never leave him alone. I don't care aboit his sexuality or anything like that.
-"What?! Perrie, you know I can't do that! He is my mate! I definately won't leave him!"-
-"You prefer him over me?!"- Perrie was almost screaming, and Harry was standing still like a rock. I wanted to scream back at her, but I wont do that. 'Am polite, or at least more polite and educate than her right now.
-"Honey, you know I love you, but I need to speak with him first. I have to know what does he have to say"- Perrie looked mad, but she calmed down. Or that's what I though...
-"...Just...don't "honey" me right now...I need my space, ok?"- Oh Gosh...This isn't good...She had such a weird change of humor. Is she on her days or something? Why is she acting like this? She nows I love her more than anything else. This is not good. I don't want to end my relationship with her, and only for such a foolish thing like that.
-"Babe I-"-
-"No Zayn, It's ok."- She gave me a hug, with helped me to relax. I though she was going to break up with me.
-"I just don't like seeing you around I guy who wants to take you away from me"- I didn'd said I word after that, I just didn't want to argue anymore about that topic. It's so stupid and childlish! She just leved the studio. Harry desapered. I guess it isn't a good idea for me to go to his place. This just took me out of mood for everything. Should I ask Niall about this? No, better if I don't...If this is true, and he just told Liam, that means he is going to tell me in the future. I have to wait until he is ready to tell me.
I tried to ignore the most importanta thing Perrie said: 《And your slut friend, isn't after whoever offers him his dick, oh no. He is after YOURS.》
After me...even when I stoped thinking about it, I though things wouldn't be the same around Niall. If that is true, I shuld be unconfortable or something, but for me nothing has changed at all. Only the probably option of he being gay, but for me that isn't a problem. I felt a unknown weird emotion on my chest. It was weak, but it was there, hiden somewhere. With that, I just fell asleep in the studio's sofa.
*~*~*~*~*
→Harry's Pov←
I just couldn't bare hearing that conversation anymore. Perrie hugging Zayn, may have been cute depending from where you were seeing them. Zayn had his eyes closed, but Perrie just had them open, like waiting for Zayn to stop hugging her. I have never liked her, but that just make me hate her more than what I really should. But, it doesn't matter how many times you try to make people notice her real personality, she can hide it preatty well infront of Liam, Zayn and Louis. She has always been cold toward Niall and me. Is it because we are the same? Did she notice the fact that we are both gay? Ok, 'am not sure if Niall is gay, and well, 'am not gay eighther. I should say 'am bi or something, but I guess I prefer dicks.
I have always been in love with Lou. I told him once, but he took it as a joke. We have done a great amound of things bestfriends defenately don't do. We have kissed, we have slept together both naked, we have even jercked off together, and we have done even more stuff. But that all happened before I paired him up with Eleonor. Why did I do that if love him? Well, I didn't exactly did that because I wanted to, I did it because there was a time in which the whole internet and TV though we were actually daiting. He was stressed, and was starting to take distance from me. I remembered once I met a nice gorl called Eleanor. She was friend of a friend of mine. I introduced them, adn I think they got an automatical crush one with the other. Well, who wouldn't get a crush with someone like Louis anyways? I told Louis to have a date with her. He accepted happily. Some days later, they doth were on a relationship, and they even celebrated their first year aniversary with me. I though they would eventually break up, but they didn't.. I never thought they would last this long.
But there's nothing I can do, Modest will hang me from the roof if I started daiting a man, and it will be worst if thatt man was Louis Tomlinson. my band mate. Also, I won't tell him about my feelings because he will probably never talk to me again. He isn't exactly the way he shows himself infrit of the cameras. He is cockier, colder, and cuter. Soemtimes I think he really hates people paring us up. He even said Larry was bullshit and everything. The first time we met, I though he was nice, then we ended up together in the same band and my crush toward him became love.
Anyways, I have to text Liam to see what happened. 'Am not exactly in the mood to get depression due to my sexual life. I took out my cellphone and tried calling Liam, so I wouldn't need to call him. I couldn't reach him, so I just sended him a text message. I wish he answeres soon.
To: Daddy
-4:36p.m-
Liam mate answer please. Perry came to the studio and started screaming that she heard Niall admiting he was gay. What happened?
I sended the text and decided to call Louis. I guess I should at least tell hin we had a fight with Perrie. Well Niall had a fight with her, my fight was more a kindergarden discusion.
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Six
~Telling what you have inside, may help you to feel release and peace, or at least for some time.~
I woke up and saw Niall sleeping soundly beside me. He had some tears in his eyes and checks with made my heart get swollen. I hugged him tighter, and then I took my phone to see if I had something new. I had the typical Twitter notifications and also I had a pair of text messages. One message was from Harry and the other one was from Zayn. God, if both of them texted me it means something bad happened. The first message I read was Zayn's one. He is basically the most involved one in all this problem, so I have to see if he is asking me about what he heard.
From: DJ Malik
-3:24p.m-
Lads, did something happened? Text me or call me as soon as you can.
It looks that there is nothing to worry about right now. I should just tell him Niall wasn't feeling alright or something like that. Then, I decided to check Harry's message.
From: Hazz
-4:36p.m-
Liam mate answer please. Perry came to the studio and started screaming that she heard Niall admitting he was gay. What happened?
Oh no...pleases someone tell me Harry is joking. How does Perrie dare to go and start saying who knows what to Zayn? Is she jealous or something? Actually that looks like the most probable thing right now. We are starting the world tour in about one month and a half. We are going to be away from our families and homes for more than six months. We are used to be together a lot like that, so it feels weird to be away from the lads. Keep this as a secret form Sophia, but sometimes even I forget about her, and just get concentrated on singing and traveling with the lads. It's tiring, but I enjoy doing it. But getting back to the main topic, I have to text Harry now!
To: Hazza
-5:22p.m-
Mate, please tell me what happened. I really need to know what Perrie told you.
This is not good. I have to wake up Niall, and send a text to Zayn. But when I wake Niall up, what should I tell him? 《Mate, Zayn just discovered you want him to give you his heart, and after that, you want him to fuck you hard in the floor and door》Well, that may be an option...LIAM THIS IS NOT TIME FOR JOKING! WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU THINKING? And now I am definitely scared that I am making myself mental questions. I poked Niall's face, and he only rolled facing the fall, and giving me his back. I kept poking him until he said some slepely words.
-"Mmmm...stop...poking me...give five extra minutes mom..."- Oh Ni, I promise you, right now I wish we were only dreaming, but no, and we have to see what to do now.
-"Niall, I am not your mom. It's me Liam! You have to wake up now! There's an emergency with the Zerry v.s Ziall stuff."- He just opened his eyes lazily and sat in the bed.
-"What happened Li?"- He said looking at me with his eyes almost closed. So, now, what should I tell him?
-"Niall, something really bad happened. Perrie heard us speaking, and even though you never said you liked Zayn in front of her, she went to the studio, and told Zayn that you liked him."- Niall's eyes opened wider. Tears started falling down his eyes. I could only hug him, seeing him like this made my heart broke more. That Perrie whore, how does she dare to make Ni cry? We is Zayn with her anyways. He deserves better than that.
-"Li...'sniff'...what do I do now? Zayn is definitely never going to speak with me again."- He broke down completely. He was crying and sobbing, and I just wanted to go out, find Perrie and tell her what she deserves!
-"Ni, baby, you know that Zayn would never do that. Don't cry anymore. He texted me, so let me tell him everything is fine, sweetheart"- I searched for Zayn's number in my contact list, and called him. Please, answer me...
-"Liam?"- I could hear Zayn's voice at the other side of the phone.
-"Zayn, what the hell happened in the studio?"- I tried to sound as serious as I could, but I was too worried, and my voiced failed to what I wanted to express.
-"Perrie came to the studio searching for me...Looks like she hear you both speaking...and...she told me that she heard Niall say something about liking me."- I stayed in silence for a long while. I didn't know what to do at that moment.
-"Liam?"- He called me again.
-"Zayn are you with her right now?"-
-"No she is mad with me, because I told her I would never stop speaking and hanging around with Ni. I didn't care what she though. He is my budy, and she has to respect that."- Hearing that made me fell relived. I looked at Niall with a big smile, and he just looked at me confused.
-"Zayn, can we met at the studio in 30 minutes? We have to talk. 'Am going to call Harry and Louis as well."-
-"Uh? Okay, no problem, see you there mate"- We hanged out the phone. Niall was looking at me with wondering eyes.
-"Ni, we have to be at the studio in 30 minutes. We have to speak with the band. You have to tell the the truth."- Niall looked confused and terrified.
-"Are you crazy? What would I do if they don't want to be with me anymore!? I just can't say I like Zayn like that. And what will we do if any of the guards hear us, or even security. You know what the contract says. I can't date lads. If they hear me saying that, it may cause a big problem or something. Perrie may even get waht she wants if she goes and tell management that I like Zayn."-
-"Honey, you don't have to say you like Zayn, you only have to say you are gay. You know they won't stop liking you, and basically, you only have to admit it in front of Lou...that fucking..."which" spoke more than what she needed to. The rest of us know it, and you know that perfectly. I don't know what we should do about management, we can go to the changing rooms. There are no cameras, nor microphones inside there. Also remember you are always going to have me by your side."- He noded, even though he didn't look so convinced. I gave him a hug, and he hugged me back.
-"O-okay Li. I guess there is not much I can do that telling them...well...admitting that I like guys."- Harry hasn't answered my other text yet, but I have to tell him to go to the studio.
To: Hazz
-6:07p.m-
Hazz, please go to the studio in 30 minutes. We have to talk about Niall's matter. Zayn is going and I have to tell Lou.
Niall got out of bed, and then I did exactly the same. Niall was combing his hair, and I was searching for my car keys, when my cellphone vibrated. It was Harry.
From: Hazz
-6:19p.m-
I just told Lou about what happened, and also told him to go to the studio. See you there mate.
-"Ni, are you ready? We have to leave now."- He just nodded and started walking toward the front door. I wonder what is going to happen now. I have no clue what may Zayn think or do, but I wish he chooses the right person.
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Seven
~There's a reason for you to fell that it isn't right."-
♧Niall's Pov♧
We arrived to the hotel room after our first concert in Colombia. It was the first concert we had in the WWAT. It was incredible! Fans were as excited as were, but it was incredibly tiring as well. Probably because one week ago I was eating, sleeping and practicing. Starting a new tour is something I love and hate at the same time, but I love it more, it just reminds me how lucky I am to have gotten this opportunity to become a singer, and also, having been able to meet Lou, Hazz, Li...And my 'favorite' one, Zaynie. We put all our stuff inside the big doorm. This looked like an apartment or something like that. After we were finished, we had the typical reunion in Li's bed.
-"Lets play truth or dare mates."- Harry said sitting beside Louis.
-"Okay dude, but where's Zayn?"' Liam said while he was searching for some chips in the kitchen.
-"Taking a bath"- That one was Lou, and now he is sitting on Hazz's lap while playing with his curls. Harry is patting Lou's back in circles and with his other hand he's touching his chin. Gosh, they really look like lovers. I would like to act like that with Zayn.
The room door opened, and a naked Zayn appeared with only a towel covering his lower part. I think am blushing. I felt tickles moving up and down my whole body. Zayn started to look at me. We were both staring. I just wanted to touch myself so badly...
-"Lads, we are going to play or not?"- I got out of my trance. I don't know who said that, but who ever saw me got the "luck" of seeing how Zayn turned ne on.
-"Yes, of course, bring the flashlight and turn off all the lights!"- I tried to sound amused, but I had to avoid looking at Zayn's toned chess. We all sat in a circle, and Zayn sat beside me...only wearing a towel. I don't know what I did to receive this punishment, but thank you.
-"I start!"- Lou screamed and Harry just stared at him with a smile.
-"Truth or dare, Liam?"-
-"Truth."-
-"It would be boring, but I know what to ask. How many condoms did you bring for Sophia?"- We all laughed and he turned in a red tone.
-"I...I brought o-one package..."- He was so ashamed that he covered his face with his hands.
-"Woo! Calm down tiger. At least you brought, now we know where to get condoms when we need them."- Again, a bunch of laughs appeared.
-"My turn. Truth or dare Hazz?"- Liam is probably going to take his revenge.
-"Dare"-
-"Dare you to get naked and hug Lou for the next two rounds."-
-"That's not a dare for me."- He started to get undressed shamelessly. He looked at Lou like asking for permission. Lou nodded and I could see Lou getting comfortable between Harry's legs. Harry was uncomfortable though. Due to his expression, he just wanted to stop doing that. Is he ashamed or somethig? Harry Styles the nudist is ashame of his body. This should appear in the newspapers.
-"Truth or dare, Ni?"- Oh...no...
-"Truth"-
-"Have you ever got off watching gay porn, and if you have what type if boys did you like watching?"- At least he didn't asked me if I liked someone in the group.
-"Yes, I have. And my favorite ones are tall guys, nice muscles and full of tattoos. Also, having a nice tanned skin isn't that bad."- Wait...didn’t I just gave Zayn's description.
-"So shameless Niall. Who may think someone like you will be watching porn.t"- Harry said and then we all continued.
-"Harry, porn is pron. We all know it's fucking amazing."- Louis responded and I smiled. We keep playing after that.
-"Truth or dare Zayn"- I said like if I didn't care which one he choose.
-"Dare"-
-"Dare you to run around the hotel only wearing your towel."-
-"No problem mate."- He standup and went to the front door. We all followed him and then Liam opened the door. Zayn started running around the halls.
-"Tomorrow this is definitely going to appear in twitter, Tumblr, news and only God knows where."- Zayn returned laughing and he closed the door quickly.
-"I did it lads."- He said which a proud smile.
-"Fine, fine. Time to sleep now guys. And Harry go and put some cloths on!"- Liam said while walking to his room. A choir of 'okay Mr. I Ruin Fun Time' were say and Lou and Harry walked to Harry's room, leaving me and Zayn alone. I will always wonder how Harry can be confident enough to walk around everywhere naked.
The room became silent. Only Zayn and I were left. It started to be akward when I saw Zayn staring at me. The worst part, I was staring back at him without knowing what to say.
-"Want some beer?"- Zayn walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator and took out a six pack. Excellent! 'Am spending some time alone with Zayn!
*~*~*~*~*
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I have decided to tell Niall 'am planning to marry Perrie.
-"Ni, I have something really important I have to tell you."-
-"Go ahead mate."- His baby blue eyes were staring at me with a hopeful light on them. He looked so gorgeous, so cute, and so handsome, so- wait...WHAT IM HELL AM I THINKING? I am calling Niall beautiful. He is beautiful ended but I am not supposed to think that!
I looked at him in his eyes once more. Something inside me begged for me bot to tell the younger boy about my marriage proposal. I wonder...Why did I do what that voice told me? Why was I unable to tell him the truth?
-"Ni..do...you want to sleep with me today?"- His eyes shined more than before. He was incredibly happy with my idea. Did he really think I was so mad at him?
-"Sure!"- He said almost jumping with joy. I smiled and finished my second beer. I put the last cans back inside of the refrigerator. I walked with him to my room in a comfortable silence. We took our cloths out, well I only took off my towel but whatever. We were laying in the bed completely naked, I don't knwo why is this so normal between us. Normal friends wouldn't sleep naked!. We hugged and cuddled together. He smelled like roses soap and his usual shampoo.
I like this, it feels thons times better sleeping with Ni than with Perrie. Why am I behaving so weird? If I had to choose, will I prefer Zerry or Ziall?
Chapter Eight
~The hardest thing you can do is watching someone you love, love someone else.~
☆Zayn's Pov☆
We arrived to Peru about six hours ago. It was our second tour date. I was nervous. A lot actually. We have never been in South America, it was something amazing knowing we had so many fans around the world. We went to the gym this afternoon. It was the first time Ni could do some exercise after his knee injury! Also, Louis painted his scar, while we were remembering when he got his surgery and everything. It was a nice afternoon. I was preparing myself to take a shower, and my cell phone started ringing. As sudden as I saw the number on the screen, I answered.
-"Perrie love. How have you been? I really miss you."-
-"Awww. My handsome boyfriend. 'Am okay. What about you?"-
-"The same."- I really missed talking with Perrie. We started talking for a long while, when the door opened. I tried to see who was there when I saw Niall entering my room. He looked sick.
-"Perrie give me a minute."- I muted my phone and smiled at Niall. He looked at me with watery eyes.
-"Zaynie...my stomach is hurting me."-
-"Did you eat something babe?"-
-"I ate a lot actually."-
-"I see...come sit here so I can pat you tummy."- He nodded and laid beside me, with his eyes closed and his beautiful pink lips closed. I started patting him all over his stomach. He was feeling tickles, so a grin formed in his mouth. With my free hand, I started to play with his hair. He turned his face to mine, showing me his baby blue eyes. I couldn’t stop staring at him. I laid down beside him. We were both in silence, Niall started tu rub our noses slowly in a skimo kiss.
-"Are skimo kissing me, handsome?"-
-"Maybe I am."- He said and he closed his eyes again. He looked so cute and small like that. I hugged him and kissed his front head.
-"Maybe I like it."- He smiled and a little blush formed in hid checks. I never felt like this with Perrie. A strange feeling started to form in my bottom part. I know thos feeling down there...and I don't know if I like it or not. Niall started to notice my bottom getting harder, and he started to move his leg back and forth.
-"Mmmm"- I quiet moan was heard coming out of my mouth. His eyes opened once more. We looked at each other. I keep patting his stomach, and started moving my hand upward till I reached his chest. His heart was beating loudly, just like mine. What the hell am I doing? Why can't I stop myself? Our faces started to get closer and closer. Our lips were almost touching. I was going to kiss Niall.
Riiiiing
Riiiiing
Riiiiing
My phone was ringing once more. I left an exhausted groan and answered it.
-"Hello?"- I said with an annoyed tone. They are interrupting something here!
-"Zayn, where did you go? I have been trying to call you for a while now."- Perrie...God what an excellent timing this girl has...
-"Yeah, I was helping Niall with his stomach ache."- Helping...helping my hormones it should be...Niall stood up from the bed, kissing my head. Then he walked to the door and before closing it, he spelled thank you with his mouth and closed it completely.
I kept talking with Perrie, and then I realized something. I haven’t told Niall I am going to propose to Perrie yet.
*~*~*~*~*
♧Niall's Pov♧
I closed the door and stayed outside staring at the door. Zayn was turned on five seconds ago...wasn't he? I run to Liam's room as fast as I could. I have to tell him this.
-"LIIIIIAAAAAAAMMMMM"- I entered Li's room. He was in his netbook and I jumped over him.
-"Wooo! What happened leprechaun? Weren't you complaining about your stomach ache twenty minutes ago?"-
-"Yeah, but I went with Zayn and you are never going to know what happened!"-
-"Are you going to tell me?"- Should I...Wouldn't it be too awkward that I told him Zayn was turned on when I told him to palm my poor stomach.
-"Well I want to, but it will be too awkward if I told you what happened."-
-"its fine Ni. Come here. He moved so I was completely over him. I sank my nose in his neck, tickling his neck and making him giggle.
-"What happened is that...well...I was with Zayn and he...I don't know how to make this sound less awkward than what it is..."-
-"Did he...Well you know..."- Great...he understood what I mean.
-"...Yeah...and he stopped talking with Perrie to talk with me."- O looked at Liam and he was staring at me with his eyes wide open. Probably he was shocked that Zayn stopped talking with Perrie. I t is almost impossible for him to stop speaking with her.
-"Niall...Have you ever though Zayn may not like Perrie as much as we think?"-
-"...No...He loves her even more. But she just uses him to gain fame and money."- I looked down to my feet. I can't beat her. I kept talking with Liam, and then Zayn appeared in the door. Liam made a grin that only I could see and then I blushed quite a lot.
-"Niall, I need to talk with you about something really important."- He was smiling, like if it was something really important. I just couldn’t deny going with him.
-"Okay dude, give me a second."- I moved toward the door and closed it behind me. He walked with me toward the kitchen of his hotel room.
-“There is something I really need to tell you.”-
-“G-go ahead.”- What is he going to tell me? My heart started beating harder and harder.
-“I think I am going to ask Perrie to marry me.”- …What? He was smiling and blushing. He took out a red box, which had a diamond ring inside it. It should be mine…Shouldn’t it? I love him even more…Don’t I?
-“Tha-that is great Zayn!”- My heart broke in less than three seconds. I forced a smile and tears started to store at the back of my eyes. Zayn noticed it. Why could he read me so easily? I don’t understand. Why can Perrie have all what I have to leave without…
-“Ni, are you ok?”- Don’t call me Ni, you just make me fall harder for you. Your voice, your kind way of treating me. Why couldn’t I fall for someone else? Why did I had to fall for Zayn? He can’t be mine. O have to accept that. I can’t beat Perrie. I am old enough to know that.
-“It is no-nothing”- I said forcing a smile. But I just couldn’t bare it anymore. I just let a tear fall from my eyes, and then I started running like crazy without thinking where to go.
-“NIALL!”- I could hear him screaming, but I just didn’t care anymore. It hurt so much. The pain on my heart didn’t compare to any physical pain I have ever felt inside me. I didn’t looked where I was going, and I crushed with someone. It was Harry, he had his eyes watery just like me. I hugged him and started crying, he did the same, I didn’t know why was he crying, nor he knew about me, but we just gave comfort to each other.
*~*~*~*~*
☆Zayn's Pov☆
The day arrived, and we were travelling to Lima today. I just didn’t care about it though. The image of a broken Niall just made me get sick. He was crying…Why was he doing that? I just needed something to forget about everything. I found Louis sitting with his eyes full of tears. He was cleaning them, and when he saw me he stood up and looked at me. He had many weed cigarettes on his hands, but at that moment I just didn’t care about anything.
-“Zayn…help me…I need to forget…please…”-
-“I need to forget too…”- I took a cigarette and turned it on. I went inside the car with Louis and we were both smoking the whole way to Lima. I don’t know what did we do inside the car, and that is exactly how I want it to be. I needed to forget, and smoking may do that for a short period of time.
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter Nine
~You will always have to pay the prize of your actions.~
♧Niall' Pov♧
I woke up with Harry. We were both hugging, with tears all over our faces. I moved and took my phone. It was only 6 a.m. My heart was feeling empty. Zayn was going to marry her, and he told me before he told everyone else. Tears rolled down my eyes again, but then I got a call. Please, God, he can’t be calling me. It wasn’t him, it was Liam. I answered, and hold my breath so I wouldn’t cry like a maniac in the phone.
-“Liam? Good morning.”- I said with cero enthusiasm in my voice.
-“Niall where in the world are the fourth of you? Did you saw Louis and Zayn’s video? IT IS ALL OVER THE INTERNET NOW!”- Video? What is he talking about?
-“Liam, what video are you talking about? I just woke up. Yesterday was hell and we have a concert today so yesterday I just slept the whole afternoon and night.”- And cried, but I will tell him that later…
-“You are not with them? You have to be joking! Management is going to kill us all! There is a video of Zayn and Louis smoking weed and saying nonsense. It was uploded today in an unknow account in youtube.”- What did he just said?!
-“Wait, WHAT? Where the hell is that video? Who uploaded it? And when and you can’t contact them? Let me wake up Harry!”-
-“The video is all over the internet. And we don’t know, and no I can’t. And what the hell? Are you sleeping with Harry? Niall you just gave me another shock, and let me tell you that I am going to get a Heart attack if you keep this up!”- Yeah, I have to explain Liam why is Harry with me. Actually, I don’t even know why was Harry crying but at least we got comfort one with the other.
-“It is a long story. I will explain you everything later.”- I moved Harry and he opened his eyes. They were red from crying and he looked really tired.
-“Niall, what is it, I am not in the mood to wake up this early right now.”- He was serious, so I gave him the phone. He looked at me but then he just took it.
-“Yes?”- He answered with his husky voice. It looks like Liam told him what happened, because at first he looked shocked, and then he looked up at me. He just threw me my cell phone, he put his cloths on and got out of the hotel room with a furious face. Now what was going to happen?
-“Niall? Harry? Is someone there?”-
-“Yeah Ni, I am sorry. Harry just got out of the hotel room, but I have no idea where is he going.”-
-“That is fine. Now, you are going to tell me what the hell happened while I was at the gym yesterday, because it looks like everything is upside down now.”- I took a deep breath. I have to tell him this. I must. I need some relief.
-“Yesterday…Zayn told me he was going to ma-marry Perrie. I just started cry-cying and I fund Harry crying as well. I don’t know why was he crying but we just cried together and stayed together the whole night. We don’t where Louis or Zayn are, but I think Harry was trying because something may have happened with Louis yesterday.”- I started sobbing and crying. I just couldn’t bare it anymore.
-“Ni…babe. Are you in your room? Give me a moment. I am going to be there in a second.”- He hanged down and I cleaned my eyes while I was waiting for him to get to my room. Someone knocked the door. It was Liam. He was wearing his pyjamas and I let him get inside.
-“Ni…your eyes are swollen. Come here.”- He hugged me and then he carried me to my bed. We just laid there for some minutes and again, he talked.
-“Ni, I know you really love him, but I think the best thing you can do is to let it go. You can’t spend the rest of your life…waiting for him to love you back the way you love him…”-
-“I know, Li…but I just can’t…”-
-“Why not?”- I looked at his chocolate eyes, and decided to say what I really felt. I wasn’t going to hide anything anymore.
-“I guess that because I found a weird pleasure on loving someone who doesn’t love me back…”-
-“Ni, that is masochism! You are feeling pain while you love Zayn! You have to get over him!”-
-“I know Li…I need to forget him, I know. But it is so difficult. He is all what I ever wanted, but…why…”- Tears rolled down my eyes. Nothing could feel worse than this feeling.
–“Why was I born a boy? I might have dated Zayn if had have been born as a girl!”-
-“How do you know that Ni? You may have never met him being a girl.”- I could see the pain in his eyes. He knew I was being honest. He knew I deserved Zayn more than anyone, but Zayn was looking for something different. He wanted a normal family and a wife. I couldn't give him that. After a long while, Li returned to his room. I was alone again. I was looking at all the comments of many disappointed and angry fans.
@Narry_Stare_Woa: I love Louis and Zayn with all my heart...BUT I am disappointed bc I loved that the boys didn't do stupid things that other young artist do
@radicstyles: I so disappointed in Louis and zayn, you don't record yourself smoking a joint, idiots.
@_alyssa5sos: I'm kinda disappointed in Zayn and Louis... like I understand they obviously do some bad stuff sometimes but drugs can become an addiction
Even one of the tweet showed a girl burning her ticket for one of the concerts. The fans are very upset about this. They have their obvious reason…Why did Louis and Zayn did that anyways? Why did they record it? And the most important thing, where are they? Someone opened my door, and I was scared someone had stolen the key for my room. But, no, it was Harry, He looked so frustrated. He closed the door behind and he got near to me. He was staring at me.
-“ Hi…”- He said.
-“…Hi?...”- I answered with concern. Why was he crying yesterday?
-“Niall, Can I ask you something very important?”-
-“Go ahead mate.”-
-“Why were you crying yesterday?”-
-“I wanted to ask you the same question.”- Harry smiled, and he took some beer cans out of his backpack.
-“You have to start first.”- He said smiling, even though I could easily tell something was wrong with him.
-“Ok…First of all. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you weren’t supposed to fall for?”- I asked, looking at my hands. I could feel myself crying sooner or later.
-“Yeah, actually, I…I really love Louis…I just…I just don’t know how I should explain you this…”- I looked at him with my eye wide open. Did he just told me he loves Louis? See! I told you! My Gay Radar never fails, I knew Harry felt something for Louis. But, why was he crying then?
-“But you know, Louis has a girlfriend, and for him Larry is bullshit, so…well what can I do…”-
-“I love, or I should say I loved Zayn”-
-“Loved? I think you actually love him.”-
-“No...I am going to get over him. Even if it is the most difficult thing I have to do.”-
-“Ni, you know you can't stop loving Zayn. I can't stop loving boobeard eighther, and why are you going to do that?”- Tears rolled once more down my eyes. It hurt me so much trying to tell this to someone. I wanted to move on alone, but no I know I just can't do that.
-“He is going to marry Perrie.”- I said with my voice breaking.
-“That girl is just a bich. Zayn is the only one who doesn’t notice that. He even saw how she screamed when she didn't had what she wanted, and still he is like blind or something with her.”- I nodded and hugged Harry on his chest.
-“Yesterday, I had another fight with Louis about the Larry stuff. He usually gets very upset about it. I don’t really know why.”- He looked down at me. I looked back at his green eyes.
-"I have always wondered why does the opinion people have about his sexuality affects him so much."-
-"I don't know. Probably because people attack him more than me. It's weird to hear someone calling me gay. Usually 'am Harry Styles the Bisexual Manwhore of One Direction."- I brusted into laughter and he just grinned at me.
-"He acts like that because he hates people criticazing his relationship with Eleanor, and he also hate having management telling him to stay away from me or anything related to Homosexuality or biaexuality or whatever. He basically has to behave as Louis Macho Tomlinson. And we all know he isn't like that."- I didn't know if it was idea to laugh, so I just stayed in silence.
-"Harry, if this is something serious you shouldn't make me laugh with every single sentence you say."-
-"Niall, you just sounded like the typical protagonist from a love movie who is confessing."-
-"HARRY!"- He smiled and then he got off the bed and he started walking toward the refrigerator. He open it and he saw a bunch of beers. Yes, we all love drinking, so we always gave this stuff around us.
-“I feel like sinking my pain in alcohol. Want to make me some company?”- Harry took a pair of beer cans and gave one to me.
-"So this is how you run away from all your problems?"- I looked at him and he just opened his can and started drinking.
-“If you can’t be happy at least you can be drunk.”- I just laughed at his comment and started drinking as well. It is easier like this, having someone who gives you relief. At least, I know Harry is going to be with me all this time.
*~*~*~*~*
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I woke up with a horrible smell going around the unknown room I was inside. What happened? I couldn’t remember anything. Louis was beside me. We had tons of finished cigarettes, and anyone could easily say this cigarettes weren’t normal ones. They had weed or cannabis inside them. I wasn’t sure. I looked at my phone. I had a thousand messages and calls from Liam and management. What the hell happened? I just opened one of Liam’s messages and it just made me wonder what the hell happened last night.
From: Leeyum
Mate! What the hell is that video of you and Louis going around the internet?
-5:56 a.m.-
Video? What is he talking about? I looked at my phone and entered twitter. I had many disapproval messages talking about that video. I searched for it on internet and saw it. It was me and Louis smoking inside the security car. I could remember that moment, but I didn’t remembered recording any video. I searched in Louis’ phone, he didn’t had that video either. He was supposed to have it, he was the one who recorded the video. I called Liam and finally he answered.
-“Hello? Zayn? Please tell me I could finally reach you!”-
-“Yeah, it’s me. What the hell happened? What is that video?”-
-“Management is going to kill you and Louis. Come back to hotel as soon as you can. We don’t know who uploaded that video. It should have been you or Lou.”-
-“Louis doesn’t have the video, nor I. Someone of the security should have been the one who upload it.”- Liam stayed in silence for a while. Then, he cleared his voice and spoke again.
-“Zayn…Did you seriously smoke that thing yesterday?”- I think I should have. I was smoking just like Louis.
-“Yes…I did…”- We both stayed in silence.
-“Why? I don’t unders- Nevermaind. Whatever. Come to the hotel NOW. We have to get ready. We have a concert today, but probably many of the people who bought the ticket won’t go. All of our fans are very disappointed.”-
-“Liam, where is Niall?”-
-“He…he stayed with Harry last night. They are both together getting ready for today. They are both very disappointed. Just like me. Goodbye. See you here.”- He hanged out. It wasn’t the moment, but hearing Niall stayed with Harry made me feel somehow jealous. I am the only one who should sleep beside him at night…
I woke up Louis. He was very upset, but I didn’t know why. I prefer not to ask, but I had to tell him about the video.
-“Louis, yesterday, while we smoke, you recorded a video, right?”-
-“Yeah. And?”-
-“Someone uploaded it to the internet. Everyone knows we smoked weed.”-
-“SOMEONE DID WHAT? IT WASN’T ME! I swear it. But I don't remember using my own phone at that moment.”- I looked at him with confusion. That means someone from security did uploaded.
-“There is nothing we can do now. We have to go and face the world now.”- He just nodded and looked down to his feet. We went to the hotel. Management was about to kill us for what we did, but nor me, nor Louis were worried about management. We were both worried about Niall and Harry’s reaction. We entered the room where the other lads were. What we saw just put us in some kind of shock. Harry and Niall were hugging each other. Niall was sitting over Harry’s lap, and Harry was playing with Niall’s hair. They were both laughing. They looked happy together. I looked at Louis, he was full of anger, envy and sadness. He was feeling just like me. When they noticed us, they just hugged harder. I can assure you, if someone had paused this moment, and pay close attention to the sounds of the room, you could have heard Louis’ and my heart breaking. But why? Liam, Harry and Ni looked at us seriously and disappointed. They were so mad, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to punch Harry on his face. He was hugging MY Niall.
-“It’s concert time lads. AND DON’T DO OR SAY ANYTHING STUPID.”- A guy from management said. Niall and Harry stood up, and passed beside me and Louis without even looking at us. Louis turned his head to look at Harry, but I just couldn’t, I was in complete shock. We walked, and we didn’t speak with any of the three of them. It was like that for the next two days, until we had to go to Chile. I thought it was going to be the perfect time for me to speak to Niall in the jet, but when we reached the airport, I saw two jets. Liam, Harry and Niall went inside one of the jets. I was walking toward the same none, but someone pulled me inside the other one.
I was desperate, I wanted to talk with Niall, but I couldn’t. I looked from the window how they got inside the jet, and how they took off. Louis tried to hold his tears and sobs, but he couldn’t. I cried with him. We were so stupid. I was so stupid, and now, I have to pay the prize for what I did.
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 10: Is It Time To Move On?
~Realize the truth before it's too late.~
♧Niall's Pov♧
I was with Harry cuddling in the couch. He had his head over my lap. He was sleeping sundly there, I think he hasn't gotten enough rest. He has been extremely upset. He spoke with Louis, but things didn't seen to change between them. I haven't spoken with Zayn since the incident. 'Am too scared to do it.
Harry and I became inseparable since we slept together. We are always together, but I think this has made Louis upset. He was the one who usually spended all his time with Hazz, and now they don't even speak to each other. Now he is always complaining about everything and never goes out of his hotel room, only to go to the concerts. Zayn has talked with Liam, he has tried to talk with me, but I always avoid him. I really don't feel like talking with him.
Louis entered the room, and stared at Harry. Harry didn't saw him, he was sleeping. I looked at him with worried eyes. He just gave me a sad smile. I noticed his eyes were red, was he crying? He just looked down and went outside the room.
-"Hazz, wake up."- He moved around and then started to open his eyes. He mumbled something I couldn't hear what he said. I think he murmured a nane.
-"...Niall?"-
-"Yes, it's me, wake up sleeping beauty. I think Louis wanted to talk with you."- He looked at me and then closed his eyes.
-"I don't want to talk with him right now..."- He just started to fall aslep againg, and then I hear the room's door opening. Liam was atanding thete holding the cliths we are suppoused to wear today.
-"Harry, Niall we have convert in 50:00 minutes. Are you ready?"-We have our concert in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
-"Gosh, 'am so tired. Ni, baby, give me a hand to stand up."-
-"Harry you are resting over me. You are the one who is suppoused to help me here."-
-"Good point there...Daddy give me a hand please."- Liam walked infront of us and he gave Harry a hand.
-"Don't be so lazy, Styles."-
-"Whatever you say,Payne."- We walked outside the room, and we entered the changing room and started to get naked so we could change our cloths. After a while of complete silence, we were both naked.
-"Wooow!"- Harry made a weird, amazed sound and it shocked me out.
-"Harry? What happened?
-"Nice body, lepreachaun."- I blushed hard and red as a tomato.
-"What the fuck?! HARRY!"- then he started to move closer and closer toward me.
-"What? It's the truth."- He started to move his hands up and down my arms. When he was moving his face toward mine, the restroom door opened, and Louis got out from it. He stared at Harry with a death glare. Harry looked surprised, and then Louis moved towarf us.
-"Harry, look at me."- Louis comanded and Harry followed his order without hesitating. Louis slaped Harry on his face. Oh God, this is bad.
-"Ha-Harry! 'Am so-sorry. I just-"- He looked down, and ran out of the room. After a few seconds, Harry followed him. I wish Zayn does that for me whenever I leave. But that will never happen, I love too much. After a while, Liam entered the room with a fake smile on his face.
-"Ready to go?"- He askedme.
-"Yeah"-
-"Zayn, Hazz and Lou are waiting for us in the band bus."- I nodded and followed Liam. When we opened the car, we stayed in silence. Louis was setting in front of Zayn and Harry was beside Zayn. They looked toward us. Zayn looked different. It looked like if he hadn't sleep enough, but the makeup in his eyes covered it.
I sat beside Lou. He didn't look back at me, he just stared out the window. I usually sit beside Zayn. Even Theo would have noticed we were acting weird. In Chile we behaved exactly the same, but on stage, we had to behave like if we didn't want to kill each other. Liam entered the bus and noticed the awkward atmosphere. He didn't knew where to sit, so he just sat beside Hazz.
-"Are you ready lads?"- He said trying to break the silence.
-"Yeah mate!"- Harry said showing his dimples. I could see Louis looking at Harry with dreamy eyes. He is really hurt because Harry is mad at him, but what he did is something that can't be forgiven easily. I looked at Zayn, he was staring at me. I started feeling my heart hurt, but it was less than before, probably because Harry has been there for me all this time. I looked at Harry and I smiled, Louis and Harry saw me smiling, and Harry just smiled back.
We arrived to the stadium. Many girls were screaming and it was amazing. It was the first time of the whole day that Louis and Harry had a proper conversation. Time passed and we were about to go on stage.
-"Ready guys?"- A guy from security asked and we all noded.
-"Time to go."- We all hugged each other. First Lou, then Li, and finally Hazz and Zayn were left. I didn't know who should I hug first. Zayn came closer to me. I did the same and we hugged each other. It was an estrange hug. We stayed in silence, like if we had something to tell to each other.
-"...Re-ready?..."- I said trying to sound exited. He gave me a small smile.
-"...Yes..."- We moved away from each other. I moved toward Harry. I jumped over Harry. We hugged tightly. Harry started to tickle me, then he moved his face near mine, making our nose touch. I grinned and he smiled back.
-"You are such a gentelman, Styles."-
-"Indeed I am, Mr. Horan."- Zayn cleared his throat. He left the room, while looking at us.
We got separated. Only Liam was in the room. He was looking out the door. He looked back at us with a worried expression.
-"What happened?"- Harry asked.
-"Nothing..."- He responded forcing a smile. His checks should realky hurt for forcing smiles every sinhle day. He went out and we followed him. Louis and Zayn were gossiping, but when the saw us, they stopped. We walked toward the room that led us to the stage. Girls were screaming and we started to run toward the entrance.
-"ONE DIRECTION!"- Harry screamed and the screams and shouts became louder. Speaking was impossible, there were so many shouts.
We started to sing. After a while, the fans started to scream Argentina, so I decided to have some fun.
-"Argentina! Argentina! Argentina!"- I started screaming.
-"Argentina! Argentina! Argentina!"- The fans screamed with me.
-"Messi! Messi! Messi!"-
-Messi! Messi! Messi!"-
-"¡Vamos Argentina!*"- The fans screamed louder and louder.
-"Everyone is having a good time?"-
-"Yeeeeeessssss!"- They answered.
-"¡Yo también!* you guys are crazy. Everybody in the back, are you okay?"- I said, while the fans were screaming. It was hard to speak even with a microphone.
-"¿Aquí?*"-
-"Siiiiiiiiiiiii!"-
-"Aquí?"-
-"Yeahhhhh!"-
-"¡Muy bien!*"- I finally said. The concert continued, It was the end if the concert now. Zayn was looking at me, I gave him a big smile, but he didn't smile back to me.
Time passed so fast! We said goodbye and went off stage.
-"That was great!"- Louis said happily.
-"Definitely!"- I said back with a big smile on his face.
-"Tomorrow we have to come here again, don't we?"- Harry asked while changing his cloths.
-"Yeap"- I answered.
-"Yeap?"- Zayn looked at me laughing. I just smiled back.
-"Well, yes. It has style."-
-"Like Styles?"- Louis screamed while poking Harry.
-"Hey!"- Harry poked Louis' nose. I looked at Liam. He was just smiling. He looked weird. What happened to him? He looks so different, he has been like that since before we went on stage. We all went outside, but only Liam and Zayn stayed inside the room. They may be talking about something serious.
*~*~*~*~*
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I was looking at Niall from behind. I was goint to talk with him about everything, and nake things go back to how they used to be days before.
-"Zayn, wait. Can we talk about something before you leave? It is something serious."- Liam said empathizing serious.
-"O-okay. What happened Li?"- I asked worried. It seems like something is pretty messed up.
-"It's about Niall."- He said, and my body tensed. Is Niall in trouble?
-"What happened with him? Did someone hurt him?"-
-"Yeah, you. And that's exactly what this is all about."- I hurt him? How? He is best friend, I really love him a lot.
-"Me? What did I do?"- I remembered the smoking problem and all that shit.
-"Is it because I smoked that thing? Did that made him get so upset with me?"- If it was that, I should go and apologize. I know I did something stupid and I really don't want Niall to hate me.
-"No Zayn, that is another problem."-
-"Than what happened?"-
-"You seriously don't notice it? You know...I always knew you were easily distracted and everything but this impossible! Zayn, please, if you don't notice what's happening soon, you are going to lose him."- Lose him? Okay. 'am lost now.
-"Liam...I truly don't understand what's happening."- He looked at me seriously. I think he is mad now.
-"And I won't tell you either, because if what I think is true, you should notice your feelings YOURSELF! Anyways, tomorrow we have another concert and I am tired. Good night come to the car quickly, or paparazzi won't let you come out."- He walked out the door, but before closing it, he stood there, only letting me see his back.
-"Notice it before you can't get him back anymore."- I stayed there trying to figure out what was Liam talking about. I walked through the doors, and I saw Louis looking outside the door. He looked shocked and hurt.
-"Lou? What happens?"- He didn't answered, so I got near the door and looked at the scene in front of my eyes. Harry was standing there with Niall in his arms.
They both looked so happy together. I looked at Louis, he had his eyes closed, and he was sobbing.
-"Lou baby, why are you crying?"- I also felt something weird while he was hugging Niall.
-"I don't know. I just hate to see Harry flirting with Niall. I know he is mad at me and everything, but I just hate it. I don't know why. Even if I have Eleanor I just hate this!"- I know what he feels, but I think for him it is deeper than for me. I guess I should talk with him. This all started since I told him I wanted to marry Perrie. He cried, just like me. Liam even told me I had realize my feelings before it was too late.
-"Lou...I think...I just can't let Niall move on..."- Why did I said that, I don't know. Louis was staring at me, with his eyes wide open.
-"But I don't understand why do I feel like this..."- Louis grinned a little bit. It looked like if I just told him a joke or something.
-"Zayn, you have to be kidding. Seriously..."-
-"Seriously what?"- Is there something everyone knows that I am the only one who doesn't?!
-"Never mind. I will give my best as well. I know what I feel at least. Or that's what I think...But 'am afraid. I don't think tgis is good, but I fell that and I can't change my heart's mind. Thank you Zayn, you just helped me a lot!"- What did I do?
He entered the door trying to hide his tears. Obviously, Harry noticed it and went running to see what happened. Louis just whispered something on Harry's ear, and he followed him. I also entered and Niall was there saying bye to both of the guys.
-"Ni-Niall..."- I said. My heart was going to get out of my chest. He looked at me, quite shocked, and I gave him a little smile.
-"Hi..."- He said, staring at me with his baby blue eyes.
-"Sorry Ni, for everything, for hurting you, for not listening to you, but the most important thing, for being so distracted with myself..."- I finally said, and I looked how his eyes started to shine. He had his mouth wide open, like if I was telling him the secret potion for eternal life or something.
-"Wha-what do you mean with that Zayn?"- He stared at me. What did I mean? I don’t know. I only told him what Liam told me a while ago. I know that Liam told me I was distracted, just like Lou, but what did they mean by that?
-"'Am not sure Ni. Sorry, Li and Lou just keep calling me distracted, and I guess it should be true, because I hurt you due to that. I know that's true, I am always so slow noticing my feeling, but I am sure that when I notice it, I will be able to apologize properly Ni.". I hugged him, and he hugged me back. It felt so good being like this. I think this how things should be, we both always together, enjoying ourselves and everything.
-"It's fine buddy."- He whispered something else I couldn't hear. He just smiled, took my hand and we both went running back to the bus. I smiled, because I felt happy again, Niall wasn't sad anymore, and that made me fell so relieved and happy with myself.
*~*~*~*~*
Trans:
¡Vamos Argentina!: Lets go Argentina!
Yo también: Me too.
Aquí: Here
Chapter 11 (EXTRA)
~You cause me the type of feeling people write movies about."-
☆Zayn's Pov☆
I woke up late at night. It was 12:07. I just rose up from the bed and started to walk toward the little kitchen. I took a cold beer from the refrigerator and opened it up. I know, it's too late to be drinking but it's so fucking hot, so whatever.
The light on Niall’s room was turned on, so I walked toward it, and opened a little bit, just enough to be able to see what was inside. Niall was laying on his bed with his hands over his member. Wait...what...WHAT?!
-"Mmmm...Agh...ngh...ah"- I drank a lot of my beer trying to act like if I was just dreaming or something, but no, I wasn't. Niall was moaning in his bed and I was here, spying him. He started to move his hand over his pink, beautiful nipples. He trembled due to his touch. It was the most delicious thing I have ever seen in my entire life. My bottom started to fell prisoned. I drank a bit more of my beer and then I automatically palmed myself.
Niall inserted his first finger inside him. He was teasing the tip of his penis with his right hand fingers. I drank again, gosh Niall he looks so hot like that. I didn't knew when, but I had my hand around my member, massaging it little by little. Niall had three fingers inside him now.
I was about to come when Niall stopped masturbating. He stood up and took his backpack. His erection was moving freely, and I almost moaned laud enough for him to hear me. He opened the front bag and he took out a vibrator and some lube. Why does he has THAT on his back? I fell like if I was watching one of those stupid porns where the actors take out all the toys from nowhere.
He started to tease his hole with the vibrator. Then, he inserted it slowly, so slowly I got temped of jumping over him and fucking him. I know, it's not normal to feel this toward you mate. But God, just look at him, this is so godam erotic. He pushed the vibrator inside him, and started to moan a bit louder.
-"Agh...ugh...oh...ah..."- He started to move it, and I moved my hand in the same rate. It started to feel so good...I have never felt this, not even while thinking about Perrie. The only sounds that came out of his room were a bunch of ‘ohs’ due to the great, obvious pleasure he was receiving. He wasn't the only one who was moaning and breathing heavily.
-"Ah...Ah...oh...mgh....AGH!"- Suddenly he came, and I followed him.
I came over my hand and my bare chest. We were both tried to get as much air as we could. I took my beer and ran to the bath. I washed my hands, chest and face. I just jerked off with the image of a moaning Niall. This is embarrassing...and weird...why the hell did that made me feel so aroused.
I walked out of the bathroom. I walked toward Niall's room once more. It was dark, and there was the typical scent of someone who just jerked off. I drank the rest of the beer. I though Niall was inside his bed, so I just stayed there staring at the darkness.
-"Zayn?"- Someone asked for me. That person had an Irish accent, and my body froze in the spot. I turned around to see Niall standing there with a little blush over his cheeks. Second time I catch him doing this.
-"He-hello! I couldn't sleep so I was seeing if any of you were still awake to make me some company."- I lied the best I could. I tried to avoid blushing or whatever, not sure if it worked though.
-"I though Liam was still up."-
-"He probable is, but I just wanted to stay with you. We haven't spoken much since you has that stomachache."- Niall blushed, and I remembered what we did that night. I also remembered I just jerked off while spying him. I blushed as all those memories came back to my mind.
-"I see."- He said.
-"Yeah..."- He opened the door completely, and I walked inside. The smell of semen was starting to fay away, but seeing the messed up make me get a bit hard once more. I keep staring at it, I also saw the backpack where he had his toys. He noticed I was staring at his room, so I just smiled to hide my thoughts. He laid down over his bed, and I followed. He just jerked off here, and now I am going to sleep here.
Niall closed his eyes, and started to fall sleep. I hugged him tightly. He kisses one of my cheeks, and I kissed his forehead, while playing with his hair. We both fell asleep, and didn't wake up until it was the next morning.
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 12
~I am so stupid, that only my heart knows what it fells.~
♧Niall's Pov♧
Our South America tour part ended. I really enjoyed being in Brazil. Harry threw me to the hotel's pool more than six times, we really enjoyed it. Now we are traveling to Ireland, my beloved country. I really want to see my mom. I need to tell her everything that had happened. Zayn walked toward the sit beside mine.
-"Hello Irish! Ready to go back to your country?"- He started to smell my hair, and play with it.
-"Yeah. I really want to see my mom. I miss her a lot. I will call her to the hotel so I can spend at least one afternoon with her."- I kissed Zayn's cheek playfully. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
-"Get a room Zayn!"-
-"Look who's talking Styles!"- Harry was hugging a sleeping Louis. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.
-"Didn't you know you shouldn't walk in a moving airplane."-
-"I know, but this baby feel asleep over my, so I will carry him to a more comfortable place."-
-"Your bed?"-
-"Why not?"- We all laughed. Harry sat in front of us. We keep speaking the whole way, until we were about to land in.
-"Hazz, waked Lou up."- Liam said, without looking at us. He just woke up, in the perfect moment.
-'Ok mate."- He closer to Louis, and started to murmur sweet words into his ear, until he lazily opened his eyes.
-"...Mmmm...What is it?"- Lou got closer to Harry's chest, and Hazz smiled lovely.
-"We arrived Boo. We have to get out of the plane."-
-"Carry me on bride-Style."- We all smiled at Louis' cuteness.
-"I can't baby. There will be too many paparazzi outside. I will carry around like that in our hotel room, okay?"-
-"...Fine..."- Zayn got near me, and started to whisper.
-"They look like lovers. Maybe they like each other. Don't you think?"- I only nodded. I had this conversation with Liam. Everyone should know I am the prince of Larry shippers. I have shipped them since 2010. Zayn smiled, and gave me his hand. I took it, and we both walked to the door. When we reached it, we let our hands walk. There were fans screaming and many photographers. I really get nervous in these type of moments. Zayn noticed it and he got me closer, so I wouldn't fell to afraid. I know I should be used to this, vut I am not. And it scares me quite more than what you may think. We entered the hotel, and we moved to the VIP part. But there was a problem. There were many stairs, and I can't move that much due to the surgery I got on my knee.
-"Zayn..."- All the guys were upstairs now, except Zayn.
-"Yes, love?"- I blushed a little bit when he called me love. 'Am not used to it.
-"...I can't go upstairs...my surgery."-
-"Oh...that's right. Come Ni get up."- I got into his back and he started to walk upstairs.
-"Sometimes I forget you need this kind if help Ni. Sorry! You always do everything perfectly fine, so I forget it. How is your knee, anyways?"- He is always thinking how I am. I really worries about me. I remember when we were at the Brit Awards, he asked me about my knee almost every half an hour.
-"I don't really think you actually forget about it during the Brits Awards. You only asked me about it! People were really scared, and everyone keep asking mw about it."- I said sarcastically, just to make my time alone with Zayn funny and special.
-"Yeah I remember it! But seriously, you could barely walk, so I was scared of what may happen to you. I also remember when you made me take a picture of you, when Louis painted your scar!"- He said looking at the roof, like if he was remembering that day and everything that happened.
-"Yes! I remember that! We were in Peru, weren't we?"- He stayed in silence. I remembered it now. That was the day when he and Louis smoked weed, or whatever it was, and also it was the day when he told me he wanted to marry Perrie. My heart started to hurt once more. Not even the pain I usually fell in my knee could fell worst that the feeling of loving someone who will never love you back. I closed my eyes. I really want to ask him why he smoked that thing. Why did Louis smoke it with him? He noticed my silence, but he preferred to stay in silence. Should I ask him? I have nothing to lose if I do it.
-"Zayn, there is something I have wanted to ask you for a long tome know. May I ask you? Just promise me you won't get mad at me. I won't force you to answer this. I promise."- He trembled a little. Probably he knew what I was about to ask.
-"Go ahead Ni. You know I can't be mad at you."- I nodded. So, how should I ask this?
-"Why...Why did you smoke that thing in Peru?"- He froze in the spot. Maybe I shouldn't have asked this, but what is done, it's done. He keep walking toward my room, like if he was thinking what to answer.
-"I don't know...I saw you crying...and it made me...go insane. I couldn't take the image of your crying face out of my mind. I really needed to forget it, or I was going to get crazy. Louis was crying as well. He looked so fragile, and he took out some cigarettes. i never knew where did he take them from, and I don't think I will ever ask him that. He just told me to smoke with him, and I did. I remember he actually recorded a video, but he never published it. He fell asleep before I did. I know, this is bad, but I was sure it was going to be a dirty secret between Lou and me, but then I woke up in a room. We never left the car, so probably security took us there. I had a text from Leeyum talking about a video. I called him, and then all this problem started. I know, you have all the right to hate me after that. 'Am so sorry for doing it. I know I let down many of our fans, but I was mad with myself at that moment, for letting Hazz, Li...And you down..."- Did he really though I was mad with him? My poor Zaynie. He even did that because he saw me crying.
-"No Zaynie, don't say that. It is okay. You don’t have to feel like that. We aren’t mad at you. We were disappointed, but it is in the past now. If you ever fell like that again, please come and talk with me. I will always be there to help you when you need me.”-
-“Thank you Ni.”- He opened the door to my room. He was hesitating about leaving or not.
-“You may stay if you want to.”- He smiled at me, and he closed the door behind him. The only one who is going to sleep alone today is probably. Liam.
In the morning, I fell a warm ring around my belly. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that it was Zayn sleeping comfortably beside me. I asked for room service, and ordered some eggs and beacon for breakfast. He will love to wake up having food near him. While waiting for my food, I decided to call my mom. I really want her to come here and visit me. I wonder if dad may come as well. I started the call, and waited for someone to answer me in the other side of the line.
-“Hello”- A well-known voice answered my call. It was my mom.
-“Hello mommy! It’s me, Nialler!”-
-“Ni baby! How have you been? Long time since we don’t speak.”-
-“I know mom! ‘Am fine. I need to talk to you about something important…Can you come to the hotel ‘am staying at tomorrow?”-
-“Of course baby. What is it about? Did something bad happened? Send me the direction to the hotel and I will be there in the morning.”-
-“It’s…I can’t tell you that via phone. Sorry mom! I will send you the direction by text. Tell Greg I called him. Tell him I wish he is doing fine. See you tomorrow!”-
-“Bye love. I will tell him. See you tomorrow!”- I hanged the phone out. Now, I need to think how to tell my mom I have a crush on my band mate…Someone knocked the door, probably room service. I rose from bed, and walked toward the door. I tried to fix my hair a bit, so the waiter wouldn’t see a messed up Niall. I opened it, and there was a girl wearing a pony tail and red lipstick.
-“Hello” It’s room service! Here is your egg and beacon double order! Please enjoy it!”- She looked up, and she saw who I was. Her eyes opened like plates.
-“You are Niall Horan, rigt?!”- I smiled at her reaction.
-“May I get an autograph?!”- I nodded and she gave me a paper and her pen. I singed it and she couldn’t stop smiling.
-“Mya I get a photo as well?”-
-“Of course. Everything for the fans.”- She gave me an even bigger smile. She took her phone out, and took a photo.
-“Thank you so much” Please enjoy your breakfast and have a nice day!”- She walked…well, almost jumped of happiness. I really liked that reaction. I took the food inside, and put it near the bed.
-“Zayn, love, wake up. It’s time to eat.”- I fell like if I was waking up my husband. That would be amazing, but don’t get your hopes too high, Horan. He opened his eyes. ‘Am starting to get used to wake up with him.
-“What happened Ni?”-
-“Time for breakfast. I ordered egg and beacon.”- He sat on bed, and took his plate. I gave him some milk, and he started to eat in silence. I did the same, but it was a comfortable silence. We both finished, and left the dishes beside our bed. I took a glass of water and started to drink it.
-"Ni, where are my cloths?"- I started to shocke. THIS ISN'T PORN! I looked at him, and he was completely naked. I couod only see his back...and ass. His legs and arms were toned. Niall...God stop staring at Mr. Sex With Legs.
-"In the...closet."-
-"Thank you buddy."- He got dressed, and then we went outside. Look at the good side of this Niall. You have new naterial for fapping.
*~*~*~*~*
Chapter 13
~When you wonder if you seriusly love someone, is when you should be completely sure your feelings toward that person are stopping.~
☆Zayn's Pov☆
We were going outside. While we were walking some fans saw us. They did what we are used to, they asked for an autograph and a photo. One of them though, didn't stop hugging Niall. It made me get a bit jealous, well, not a bit, too fucking jealous that I got near them and hugged Niall, while grinning at the girl, who I think didn't even notice my intentions. They walked away, but the feeling I had inside my stomach never got away from me. Suddenly, I remembered Barbar Palvin, Niall's exgrilfriend. They broke up this year, in February. I had forgotten about her, but now my memories are back once more. Should I ask him why did they break up? She was beautiful and everything, why did he let her go?
-"Ni, you know, this is your typical phrase but I will have to use it. Can I ask you something?"-
He smiled at me. Well, it's true, he usually asks me something, so well, that's his favourite phrase or something I thing.
-"Go ahead brother. Whatever you want to ask me."-
-"Why did you broke up with Barbara? I know you are gay, you told us that, but you really looked like if you like being around with that girl."-
He just stared at me, and then he looked down. Did something happened between them?
-"We never really loved each other you see. She used me for fame, but I used her as well. Modest! made me get a beard. They told me I should not be single for so long, or media would start to create false news. If fans figure out 'am gay, we will lost many of them. And the money that we gain will decrease and for Modest! that is like a blasphemy or something. I don't really care about the money or fame, I only care about doing what I like, but I know this is my job and I have to do it just like 'am told. We lived far away from each other, so I used that as an excuse to break up with her. Media didn't though there was something weird, and I could stop being with her. She acted like Oh my Gosh! 'Am so hot! Look at my boobs and but!"-
I laughed at that, he never does that type of imitations to other people. He really hated her. But anyways, it was a sad story to tell, but he seem to be used to it. He was forced to date a model, so there wouldn't be false rumours about him moving around. I don't understand why the sexuality famous people have is so important. There is nothing interesting on people liking other people, but for paparazzi it is like the elixir of life. The worst part of everything is that every single new of that topic sells a lot, and gets too many views, that is why we are always told to be careful with every move we do.
But I was only thinking about anything. Why did he keep this as a secret? Did someone knew about this? Liam or his mother. Did he had to live acting like if he was happy, but he was in real pain for being someone he isn't, and that he definitely doesn't want to be. I have never gone through that type of situations, or maybe that is what I think. Sometimes I wonder if being with Perrie is a good idea. She is cold and usually acts like a real bich. Well...I never thought I would say that about her, but it is true. I like her family, but sometimes she stresses me quite more than what people may think.
-"I see, but why did you never tell me about all of this? I may have helped you or something. I want to be there to help you when you need me. Next time something like that happens, please don't doubt on calling me."-
He looked down, but then he just nodded. He looks like if he wants to say something else. He looked again at me, but he had a bit of doubt in his eyes about if he should talk or not.
-"I won't hide anything from you anymore, but you have to the same with me. Any problem or bad situation you are going through, you have to tell it to me. In exchange I will do the same. I will do my best to tell you everything. There may be things that I will hide away from you...probably...but I will do my best."-
-"Yeah Ni, I understood you will do your best."-
He smiled shyly. He said there may be things he won't tell me. Things like what?
-"What types of things wouldn't you tell me Ni? I though we had a promise you..."-
I made a false disappointed tone, but I couldn't hide the grin that formed on my lips. He blushed, but never stopped looking at me. Will he seriously hide something from me or not?
-"Zayn, there is something...I really need and want to ask you. Is it okay if I do it now?"-
-"Come with it bro."-
-"...Are you seriously going to marry…her?"-
Her? He said with an 《I hate her tone》, right? But 'am not sure myself if I want to marry her. I have been feeling weird. Is it a good idea? I seriously don't know what t do. Should I talk with Niall? But that will cause him even more trouble. But he wants me to be open with him in every single aspect. I definitely have to tell him the way I have been feeling.
-"'Am not sure Ni...Many things have happened. I know I have dated her for a long time, but I just...I don't know how to say this. She is so cold sometimes. I don't even know if she really loves me or what. I have been feeling so different toward her. I don't know what I should do."-
He looked at me, but there was something different in his eyes. It looked like happiness, or hope. My heart was moved by that, and I hugged him. I don't even know why did I do that, but I couldn't stop myself from it. He hugged me back. I may stay like this the rest of my life. i feel protected...and loved in his arms. I looked again at his eyes. They were shining, and without me realizing it, I was kissing him.
It was a soft and nice kiss. I didn't remember kisses feeling this good. He started to get separated from me. We didn't stop the eye contact. I just kissed him...and I have the feeling of a zoo inside my belly. He moved away completely of me, and started to walk to the door without saying a word. Did he dislike it? I was going to ask, but at that moment, he turned around again and kissed me once more. We didn't stop looking at each other the whole time. Liam entered, and saw both of us blushing.
-"Guys...time to go on stage..."-
He got away, without waiting for an answer, We went up, but the whole concert we couldn't stop looking at each other.
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