An Egyptian Girl

I'm an Egyptian girl, mid twenties, and I'm not normal.

I seem like the most normal girl you could ever meet, I look just fine, veiled, so I'm considered a muslim, friendly, I laugh with my friends, I hang out with people and go to work and have a curfew of 10 at home. 

I'm not a muslim, I was born there, and wore the scarf in a young age without anyone pushing me to do it because I thought it was the right thing and of course my mom was so happy. I'm not an atheist either, I'm looking for God but not your traditional one that would get mad at people for not worshiping him. I seem like a normal girl, but I swear, I don't mind drinking and smoking, I do mind marriage for the wrong reasons like "building a house" or "having kids". I dream of getting out of this country one day, because they only thing I love in it is my family and friends, other than that, I hate it. I'm sort of a feminist, but not those women who bite men, I love men, I just hate how we girls are blamed for everything that happens to us. I voice my thoughts on the social media, and people get annoyed with it, like how could a girl say I wanna get high, even though all the men I know like to brag about their funny stories of getting high. I've had sex before, with a friend whom I loved. My parents think they know all about me but I've chosen to lie to them instead of fighting over something they won't change their minds about, especially that I love them so much.

I'm glad of who I am, I just wish I was a little more brave so I could say whatever goes on in my mind, without being viewed as an abnormal being.