I was afraid that I can't make it.
I am tired of faking all of it.
I was so happy now and later I feel empty
I feel broken from the inside yet I try to make it
I am sad, Yes but I try to make sense out of nothing.
I wanna cry out loud but it seems that no one will hear me.
I wanna shout the pain to ease it but I can't do it.
I always have that something that keeps on,
Something that keeps on slowing me down.
God, I swear I wanna escape!
All I want to do is to escape away from the pain!
Please, I wanna end this pain and agony!
I can't understand anymore this feeling of nothingness.
I feel exhausted and I don't know how to soothe this.
They all said I was just afraid and tired.
They said it was all just in my mind.
Hey! I'm not crazy, I am empty!
I don't want this but I don't know how to stop!
The demon keeps on coming and he would say
"You can be happy so come with me"
All I can think of is to end this life of mine.
When I think about it, I feel hopeful.
Hopeful that I will be happy after
Hopeful that I can escape for a while
Hopeful that it will numb the being of me
And I am hopeful it will vanish my darkness
But it seems that I will always keep on coming back
Keeps on coming back into the darkness.
I am lost and I don't know where should I go.
I always wanted to go out there
I always want to cross over different path
But Why I can't? Why can't I just be happy?
Every time I thought of jumping off, I still have my cold feet.
I still have the thought if the people will be happy for me?
I still want them to be happy for me even if i'll be gone
I want them to understand that it's kinda hard for me
I want them to know how in pain I am now
And this is the only way for me to end it.
I'm afraid I can't make them proud.
I'm petrified that I'll bring them sorrow
And it causes my demon to trouble me again.
But I don't know what to do now!
Oh God I'm cold, troubled and panic stricken.
My sanity is at stake when I got this sickness.
Trust me, I'm trying to make all thing easier but it's not dong well.
I kinda want to poison myself so I can be at peace.
I just need someone to understand what I've been through.
Oh please don't push me too hard or I'll pull the trigger of this gun
I can end it here and I will be happy then (or Shall I be?)
My thought and my heart is empty.
I'm floating in the midst of nothingness
Oh, No, my head is flowing and floating and I feel nothing
I swear I wanna go back to what I am
But my demon keeps on holding me
I am at the cell and it won't let me escape
and the fill the hole within me is to take the poison
And everything will be okay.