I sit in my room every night and face a dreadful fear
I see a distant smile and wipe away a million tear
I remember a familiar laughter… a scarce of sparkling hope
A call to come to dinner… a memory to help me cope
I sit in my room every night and my body begins to shake
Even though I fall asleep, my heart is still awake
How can a heart simply rest when it’s missing home?
How can I create a house from that which is called a student’s dorm?
I try to enjoy the city, the beauty of it all
Every time I get my symptoms, I try to stand tall
When my heart shivers and my hand starts to tingle
And my head starts to spin… I try hard not to fall
I’ve seen a million doctor and talked to a million friend
“It’s just “Psychological;” only you can make it end”
But even I can’t stop it; it just won’t go away
Because even if you’re free, it’s a prison when you’re forced to stay
Many don’t understand; they have lived alone so long
Many think I’m crazy; they try to prove me wrong
I mean no disrespect to the country which welcomed me
Or to the wonderful people who have done a lot to help me
It’s just that there’s a heaven, a place I left behind
It’s where I forgot my spirit, my soul, my heart and mind
It’s where my parents are and all the familiar faces
It’s where tolerance shines between lots of different races
It’s far from being perfect but it made me who I am
And it’s just too much to take, meeting it only on a webcam.