I'm sure, I'm not attracted to her...
She's not a beauty. She's that kind of woman who sits at the corner in the last row. She's that woman who barely talks if she doesn't feel like needed. She was not even my friend then. I could just look at her from a distant. I am not even attracted to her. I just could not help but notice her.
I don't know if you have ever noticed me looking at you. I always walk you home from behind maintaining my pace so you wouldn't know. Whenever you talk to your friends, I secretly listen. That's the only way I could get to know you.
I never expected...
As how I acted awkwardly around her before, has now become careless and comfortable as I get closer. We could laugh showing all our teeth while our whole face becomes red. We could say and make the harshest jokes without getting annoyed. We could say things that we could only say to each other. We could talk without words by just looking at each other. Our eyes and smirk say a thousand word. Suddenly, we burst into laughter.
I never thought time will come that I could even talk to you. But time had given me more than that. I got to know you, not just you but the real you from the inside. I've seen you at your best and I've known your flaws. You were never perfect. You are just so real. So real that you've become a fantasy.
And we both choose our place...
We both stayed in that 'safe zone' as I call it. We both stayed as someone special but not too special. We are too afraid to step out and loose each other. We are happy enough for what we have right now. That one more step that could change everything frightened us. We never dared to risk this little things we have. We are too comfortable in this place. Too comfortable that we forgot what else could we possibly become.
Little by little as we stayed in this 'safe zone', we forgot that there's that one more step that we could do at risk. It's too risky that we never thought about it.
Little by little as we decided to be just who we are... That one more step is fading. It's fading that we could hardly see it anymore.
There you are smiling and looking at me. As I tell my stories, you also tell yours. I realized then, that we are now living our own lives. We fell inlove to certain people. We were hurt most of the times. And we always run to each other whenever something happened that is worth telling. You comfort me during my hard times. I tease and laugh at you whenever you got your heart broken again and again. We laugh at simple things. We are undeniably happy. This is more than enough than to take that risk and loose you. I don't want to end this. That's why, I'm letting that one more step to FADE TO BLACK.
But our bond will always be special...
She will always be a special part of my life. What we have is special and the good thing is, it never had ended. It was not a happy ending as the most stories are, because it has not ended in the first place. For me, I don't want that happiness if it would just end. I want this story of us to be just a happy story and not a happy ending.
As I told this story to my children, I wanted to tell them that two people doesn't have to be together just to be happy. They will care for each other no matter how far they are.
I wonder... wherever you are, do you also tell our stories to your children? Maybe... Just maybe.
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