My heart died yesterday, what should I do?
What I need to hear is for him to tell me to wait but again I was wrong. He doesn't have plan at all. It was painful and still is.
I took the risk to ask the question. This past few days was unsettling and my heart couldn't be still. It is only a matter of asking the question and my heart knew before it happens that we will never be whole again. I realized that hopefully I was wrong but as usual it was just a foreplay to begin with.
I didn't give my all to this relationship because of the anticipation that it will end the same. Though I prepared myself from the beginning I wasn't safe from falling and hurting myself.
I love him, I do but he is not a man to start with.
He is responsible, yes but is not ready for commitment.
I am at my deciding point in where there are only two things on my list left. And those things doesn't include commitment with vows because I know I will never will. Don't tell me that I didn't tried, I tried but it ended as what I anticipated.
Even before I know that there is a place where I can be at peace. Only myself and the trade of life will know when will I surrender.
Breaking my heart is not a new story to tell in fact it is everyone story you heard every single day. And it is not unfamiliar to say we have to move on or we have to accept what happen.
But the fact that you can never ignore the pain is the hardest part of pretending that you can get through it all.
I once wispher in the air the wishes that didn't come true while holding his hand in a quite night. Destiny never tells you its plan because it will always be our choices that will change the course of its plan.
I don't want to say goodbye but when the ends come all you need is say goodbye to things you can't never keep.
I bid farewell to my love and if it allows me again to hope then I will always try. For I know that love would always come and go. The only difference if it stays with you until the end of your journey.
And you will be one of the few lucky ones...