The look of fear in her eyes says it all. She has been broken so many times and eventually she has lost hope. The love she reads about is so real, but only on paper. The love she listens to is so real, but only on headphones. The love she watches is so real, but only on screen. Real life love comes with painful memories, and she has enough of them to wonder if she’s ever going to be able to love again. Her heart has been broken and shattered to million pieces, but she managed to fix herself every time. She has done it all alone, until now.
She sees him every day and he is trying to help her recover. Laughter after laughter, joke after joke, smile after smile. He is not letting her feel alone, and it scares her. She’d rather be alone than get hurt once again. He seems nice, but they all did at first. He initiates the conversations, but lets her speak freely and listens carefully to her words. He tries to stay away from painful memories and focuses on the happy ones. He makes her feel happy, and it scares her. She’s rather be sad than get broken once again. He seems gentle, but they all did at first.
When alone, she thinks of him. When he is around, she still does. He is the reason why she does not feel alone and broken. She wishes she had met him long before, because now, she is not sure she knows how to love him properly. She does not know how love really feels. Her previous experiences has changed her perspective on love. She knows that the happy relationship is just a myth. She is not going to be happy forever; no one ever is going to be. She may as well try once more to love another man. She may as well just give her all to this nice and gentle man that loves her. Or does he? How could she know if he loves her as much as she thinks he does? Before that, does he really love her? She cannot be sure of that. He may as well just be pretending, just like the others. Confusion start to build up, anger, sadness and fear. She’d rather not love again. Her heart has not been fixed yet, and she is going to fix it all alone.