Unbearable Reality

Many say the truth will set you free, but in his case, it only made the weight on his shoulders heavier while his hand was reaching for the unseen love. The truth, no matter how bitter it might be, remains sweeter than a lie. He knew that, but living the lie was an escape from the harsh reality he had been facing for months. All that the truth revealed was his true feelings towards someone who was bound to never return. All it revealed was his willingness to suffer in silence, so that no one could listen.

The coldest man within people was hiding an emotional one within himself. Incapable of expressing his emotions, he had to put on a smile, which tore his inside apart each time. At night, he would sit down and glue back together shattered pieces, and each night, another piece was missing. It did not take much for the void to fill his heart. He would have a busy day but a déjà-vu night. Picture than fantasy, last song than reality, pain than dreamless sleep: a simple routine he repeated every night.

His love was bigger than he could just let go of. He was addicted to her presence, and without her, he was about to lose it all. She had him go cold turkey without any possible equivalent to his drug. Her memories haunted him during the day, so he would shake the thoughts of her out his mind, and sometimes, he would scream them out. Being busy saved him in the sunlight. However, the moon did not have such a mercy on his soul.

His beating heart needed to break free of the pain it had been feeling, but there was no way out of the prison-like memories. He had wondered what it would be like if she ever left, but he never got the answer until she had let go of his hand for the last time. Then, and only then, the answer revealed itself as the unbearable truth he had never wanted to admit. There was no life for him, he would only survive through the day and break down in the darkness of his room while their memories ripped his heart to million pieces.

He could only sit down, put music on, close his eyes and lose himself in whatever unreal world he created before it all self-demolished around him. Afterwards, he would lie down and face the ceiling waiting for the pillow to take him away to a dark place, silent and dreamless. If only the truth had not been the prison that he was living in, it would have set him free.