its too late to write i know but i can't sleep..its around 3 a.m. and still i am thinking about what you said to me today. i am confused with the way life is taking turns but still i have to fight it all. talking to 2 ex-boyfriends and still maintaining the tag that we are just friends is sometimes so heavy. it was rather good that i was not talking to anyone...but my fucking heart it just melted in an year. you were my first boyfriend but we had a breakup cz i cheated u .. u can never forgive me about that but u should feel that u were unable to give me enough time i required to feel that you are mine or rather we had any future. there he entered in between us. i did wrong i know but i asked you a lot to forgive but you left me in the middle. then he helped me in recovering from the depression and i unfortunately got addicted to him but he cheated me too..n i was again broken.i was numb not talking to anyone but still i was talking to you..it has always been your choice when to dump me n when to have relation with me.. i m sorry even though i ignored him completely for an year but when he asked for forgiveness i was unable to be strong..i even ignored the fact that how badly he had cheated over me n treated me like hell. i can never ever tell you but i was in an abusive relationship..he not only touched me publicly but had exploited me in every best possible way..he didn't have to cut me off but he did..no matter how much sorry he feels but i am unable to forget that due to which i m facing severe mental n physical problems. but you know what why i forgave him cz i always thought that i cheated you n felt guilty for it..i did cz i took it what god has offered me with for my karma. also i always felt that when you can forgive me then why can't i do so in his case?? since you said we are friends still you want everything from me?? You know what i feel about being with someone, you know i hate it even when someone touches me..i hate my body n i am still trying to recover but rather than helping since the day i started talking to him you have become rude. i know i was wrong in the past.i have hurt you but you know my condition and still you asked me for sex???? n when i didn't answer anything you started talking bullshit about my past..it is not that i still love the other person it is just that i hate being with anyone and its my choice now...why you did this to me when i had started trusting people. i can't prove that i don't love him in public as you are asking for more...even though i am a virgin but i had been used in such a bad way that my soul cries out in pain...The worst part is this that now both of you wants me back and now i give a fuck about it.He has taken everything from me and i can't do anything with anyone now..i know i will soon loose you as well but i don't want you at my own cost.
Story