For a while, I choose to be happy
I have been chasing happiness ever since I don't remember when
For a while, right now
I just want to not be sad nor not be that overwhelmed in gladness
Just enough to keep me breathing some calmness
Lessen the suffocation that has been up and about all my life
For a while, I say, life is good even when some tragedy happens, even when people I care about are physically away from me
For a while, I stay on the floor, not crying nor feeling an impending doom, but hearing some Christian and contemporary music that has always been saved on my playlist, which I rarely play, to be honest
To browse social medias and learn to laugh at some humorous posts and enjoy the time alone even when I had so many days that I am literally alone and also feeling lonely and rejected by the world
For a while, I am not the person from those I have mentioned, not the person that sees death as salvation, not the person that jumps into every miserable memories and stay in the sadness and depressing state, not the person that feels hollow and empty, not the person that keeps on different masks for people to not notice the self-inflicting pain and agony just to prove that I am alive
For a while, I choose to live and be some person who is satisfied that I am breathing and appreciating that there are people who do really care sincerely for me
For just this moment, hours, I'll lavish on it, I'll enjoy the time 'cause I don't know how long this will last.