Can we really control our destiny? Can we really "choose" or is that just a delusion sold to us by Gods and religions? When I chose to write this story, did I choose that, or did the chain of actions, ups, downs, hardships and so-called "decisions" during my entire life affect my "decision" to write it? nobody seems to have an answer to this agonizing question that haunts me even in my dreams. Because if we can't even control our decisions, what are we? Are we simply talking animals being guided through this shit storm we call life?
Let me put it this way: if I gave you a choice between a pound of coke or a useful book to read, it does not matter what you "choose" because you are not the one choosing actually. Your choice is the result of the set of actions you were exposed to since you were born. Crazy right? I am really starting to believe that "crazy" person who said that life is just one big fucking simulation. Well, when you think about it...
As a child, which is another mind-numbing excruciating idea I have to live with, you cannot decide what you want. You simply do not have that power. Extremely unfair! But then again, life is made to be unfair. Take it or leave it. Literally.
Am not done yet. Some might agree with the said argument but might say: "You did not have a choice as a kid. Okay, but now as an adult, you reached that level of consciousness that allows you to take a full grip of your decisions. The past has passed. What are you going to do with the remaining future is what matters and is what defines you." We could agree with that, but then again, let's get creative!
This takes us back to the free will argument above. You saying that "the past has passed" is just a result of the series of decisions and actions you were subject to as a child and while growing until this point. That's what I believe. Maybe am wrong. Maybe am right. But the depression that is infused in every atom of my body that is born from this Idea is painful. the idea that we actually do not have a choice, but rather subject to life or to the programming of the being or nature that trapped us in this simulation!
One of the reasons that lead me to think that the movie "The Maze Runner" is such an excellent Book/Movie is due to the fact that it represents, in my opinion, a perfect picture of life and provides us with a creepy end, especially in part 1 (or 2 if am not mistaken) when they break out of that "prison" (of thought and gods and religion) through the "Maze" (of life with its ups and downs and monsters that was enforced on us) out to the actual reality that is being kept from us. The plot twist, however: even that reality, that we made such an effort to escape from, ended up being as much or more shitty than the one we were living in. It's like a closed Maze. You try to solve it and break out of it only to find out that you are still inside of it. Damn.