How can we strengthen a bond when we encounter someone who fails to communicate to us their need to leave, exit, and do away with us as their loved one?
Some people are quite savvy at discarding people like garbage. I have never been a ghoster. It really isn’t in me to just stop speaking to someone without learning, feeling, or realizing that this is perhaps what they want. If you are in tune with the air and space around you, moments of peace offer sound revelations.
If you have come across ghosting behavior before, you know the signs. They appear without a warning. You do not get a caution light or an alarm. You just need to be prepared. What I have come to recognize as tell-tale signs of inevitable ghosting are as follows:
One-word responses.
They are no longer eager to speak to you.
They don’t return phone calls or respond to text message when they did so in the past.
They aren’t the least bit concerned about your well-being.
If you don’t reach out to them, they won’t acknowledge you: a one-sided relationship ensues.
If we are faced with the potential ending of a long-standing friendship or relationship and it is not being communicated verbally by the ghoster, chasing after them won’t stop them from running — trying to get them to stay won’t ensure their presence.
When walls are actively tumbling down, one person cannot stop them from falling.
You have to be open enough to the possibility of certain relationships reaching their end-date. It happens. It is life and life surely does not stop for any of us.
Holding space, to me, does not mean waiting around for them, it is me simply having a spot in my heart ready for them when or if they ever return and loving them while they’re away.
They are free to run away. Let them.