THE GIFT OF FEAR.

Fear is a gift.

I’m talking about the fear we have as creatures that gives us a jolt

when in danger. The jolt either gives us what’s necessary to deal

with that danger, or what’s necessary to get the f*ck out of the

way. That type of fear is something we only feel in the present and

generally lasts for a short time.

Humans are funny creatures because we can carry fears even when

out of danger. If you’ve ever been a victim of crime you know how

it lingers and disrupts the normalcy of your life for quite some time.

It messes with your sleep, keeps you on edge in seemingly safe

situations, and can serve to paralyze you when you try to move

forward.

On top of that, we have this awesome (remembering that the

word awesome doesn’t always mean a good thing) ability to create

fear, not only in ourselves, but also in others. These fears include

(but aren’t limited to) fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear

of embarrassment, fear of loss, fear of change, and fear of truth.

These fears are technically considered phobias because they’re

irrational, and don’t actually involve danger.

Asking that girl for her number and having her reply with an “eww

no” isn’t going to be the end of your existence. It may feel sh*tty,

and the desire to not feel sh*tty may keep you from asking her. The

same way the fear of disappointing others keeps you from switching

out of Biology class into a Modern Dance class; dating outside your

bubble; or leaving your job as a teacher to be a rap singer.

These phobia type fears aren’t gifts like the adrenaline rush you get

when the car in front of you stops suddenly, and you need to react

tout suite. That adrenaline goes away after a few minutes since it

has served its purpose. Phobias only seem to grow in magnitude

and multiply.

We all have these phobias, and the ones we carry are as unique as

we are. As a mass of people, we can have collective phobias, and

these phobias have been exploited and used to control us like lab

rats for decades (word to Edward Bernays).

We avoid those feelings by playing it safe, or playing along. Our

fear of exclusion motivates our assimilation. Our fear of not

being noticed motivates our loud behavior. Our fear of loneliness

motivates the personal sacrifices and compromises we think are

necessary to be accepted by others. We’re all doing the same

dance, but think we’re in it alone because we’re moving to different

music.

The courage we need to develop is not the ‘knight in shining armor

super duper confidence unfazed’ courage. It’s the recognition of

what we fear, and deciding that even with the tiniest baby steps,

we move forward despite them. What you fear isn’t the roadblock;

allowing the fear to keep you from moving is the real obstacle. FDR

said it during one of America’s lowest times, “The only thing to fear

is fear itself.”

Whenever I have issues or find myself feeling uneasy or hesitant,

I ask myself, “What are you afraid of?” Answering that question

clarifies who I am, and it’s the first step to overcoming that fear. In

most cases, what I fear is dramatically worse than the reality of the

situation.

As I go through these adventures being a public figure and hear

every opinion across the spectrum, everything I ever feared people

would think of me, they already have. Yet here I am, still breathing,

beard still soft, rhymes only getting better, learning lessons even

quicker. I’ve seen people dig themselves out of holes a million times

worse than some of my created phobias.

No one is fearless, but the bravest people I know are those most

in tune with their fears and phobias, and have decided not to let

those get in the way of their happiness.

As always, this is going to require you to have a conversation with

yourself to discover these fears. Identifying them will be the first

step to conquering them.

The bravest people I know are
those most in tune with their
fears and phobias, and have
decided not to let those get in the way of their happiness.