Going home used to be the best part of my every day except today.
Instead of waiting for you to open the gate with your arms wide open, I hear the loud creaking sound of the metal as I unlock the trapdoor of our haunted memories.
Instead of seeing the blooming beautiful flowers in our garden of love with you and me mud-stained and laughing, I see dry leaves, pale petals and broken pots all over the place.
Instead of putting my shoes beside yours as you complain about me wearing different ones every day, I put the half of what supposed to be a couple shoes on the rack we used to share.
Instead of entering the house with the lights open and you watching the news in the living room, I enter a dark and silent abode like no one ever lived here except ghosts.
Instead of opening the closet with your disarranged garments alongside mine and me tidying them up in a flash, I change into my pyjamas and mess up the pile of clothes I bought when you said they look good on me at the fitting room.
Instead of sitting in front of the dining table with a delicious dinner you prepared and eating together as we talk about our day at work, I come to the kitchen looking for the cup noodles you hate and eat them alone hoping you'll pop up angry because of it.
Instead of me washing the dishes and you hugging me from the back with your head on my right shoulder, my fingers bleed as I try to pick up my heart along with the broken plates, bowls and glasses.
Instead of watching our favorite television series with you lying on my lap and me brushing your hair using my hands, I cry after a heartbreaking romantic movie, wishing you are here to laugh at how silly I am and longing for your hands to wipe my tears away.
Instead of sleeping with your left arm as my pillow, your right arm as my blanket and your lips whispering how much you love me, I lie wide awake on my side of the bed, praying you'll come home to fill this empty space in my life and kiss me good night.
Instead of waking up with our feet and arms tangled and you still sleeping soundly like an angel sent from above, I wake up crying from a dream of you telling me not to wait for you to come back and that you are happy wherever you are right now.
-ascute montefalco