Letter of Depression
#Realtalk
To my depressed self, I’m sorry if I wasn’t that strong enough to fight when you’re battling against yourself and what others we’re expecting from you. I’m sorry if I wasn’t that strong woman you wished to be who could comfort you whenever you feel down. I’m sorry if I wasn’t too keen in listening to your needs that instead of keeping it in our own, we need someone to talk to. I’m sorry if I couldn’t be the good girl you wanna be who could empress you’re parents and others. I’m sorry if I can’t be the tough person that you need to be when he leaves you alone all this time. I’m sorry for being weak. I’m sorry for being too fragile. I’m sorry for my selfishness. I wasn’t able t see how vulnerable you are. I was closing my eyes the whole time and numbness entrenched my body… I can’t feel, I can’t see the terror in your heart. I know there are times that you feel like you are worthless and that no one would actually care even if you disappear into the face of the earth.
You were so good to imprisoned yourself in the dusky room. There’s a lot outside. You got to see the bright light in your way. I witnessed you cried a lot before and never talked to anyone after that. When you had your first crush and I witnessed how you feel so bad when he told you he doesn’t like you, I saw you in pain. When you failed to pass your subject, you cried a lot and feel damn! When you screwed your life just because you did not get the job that your parent’s wants for you and you feel the pressure in your neck, you’re so miserable. You caught yourself in the middle of identifying where you should go and what you should do to be happy and it makes you sad thinking that it seems that you don’t have a choice. You keep on waking up late night just overthinking about many things in your life. I must be with you now because you need me to be there but the dark ghouls keeps on hunting us. If only I could not be that despair, I will make you happy and not gloomy.
You see, I lead you to a melancholic life and you don’t deserve it. Pretty young girl, Please help yourself now. I can’t do anything if you just keep your side with me. I wish I could fight with you but I can’t because I am your nightmare and I am the ghost lurking inside you. You have to fight against me. You have to be brave and stand tall to make it. I know that we’ve been together for a while now but I got to get away from you so you won’t suffer at all. Please help me go away and help yourself to be happy instead. You don’t deserve this, you deserve better than this. I see how much you’ve been longing to breath freely without anxiety and fear so I want to help you but there’s less that I can do than you can.
For now, please stay focused and fearless. Make sure your heart is bold enough to withstand the pain but rest assured, after this, you’ll be free. You can taste the liberty that was filched from you for a long time. I was a theif and I’m guilty of this accusation. I deserve to get lost, away from you. I need to be caged to stop from aggravating you all day. Please let your mom know what’s in your mind now and let them understand what’s inside your heart now. Do not turn your back to people. Please continue inspiring others witn your sweet smile. Please refrain from crying out when no one is watching. Please stay spirited when everybody is looking. When I’m gone, please go ahead and watch the sun rises from your window pane and realize how wonderful this life is. I did drag you to my nightfall but I regret doing it. So please, please let me go from you. I don’t want to see you being tired and in pain anymore. Let it cry for now, okay, but don’t think of giving up on your life right now, alright?
I may be the despair, the sinister in your life for a while but I hope you learned a lot from it. Through my realease, I foresee happiness for you in the long run. From now on, continue to have a long talk with your best friend at night time (whenever you need someone to talk to). From now on, keep your faith high so you won’t feel down when somebody tries to pull you down. Do not frustrate yourself and always follow what your hearts wants. Your crusade against dejection and despair begins the moment I end my letter.
From your great horror,
Depression