Am I guilty of saving myself from the ruin was headed to,
Am I guilty for not being selfless for the first time in my life,
Am I guilty of putting an end to those flowing tears of my life,
Am I guilty of pouring all my love to him and getting nothing,
Am I guilty of it all?
I knew you were a challenge,
I knew I too will be facing your fears,
I knew you were tired of fighting them alone,
I knew you might never see me the way I do,
I knew it all,
atleast I thought so and yet I stayed, understood, endured, struggled and left.
You were everything others weren't ,
You were understanding but only to my words not my feelings,
You allowed yourself to be weighed down by your own demons,
You were there for me since the start of it all,
You were never there for the tears, only for fears who vanished after you were gone.
Because there was nothing left to be feared, all blocked at the brink of it.
It blocks my mind to think of your face,
It chocked my voice when I try to cry with my loudest voice,
It weakens my limbs to reach out to you anymore,
It pains my soul to imagine the pain you have suffered,
It burns my heart to see the bus approach where memories lay,
It stings my eyes to feel your absence on the bench we sat.
Now tell me am I guilty of leaving you? I know the answer and it's a 'NO' in capital bold letters. Because I know I deserve better yet his words an dmemories ring louder than the bold letters. I do everything to forget the evils of him but I am afraid of loosing the few beautiful ones with him.
Tried to pretend he doesn't exist but the tiny curve on his lips when he saw me in the eyes is an in erasable photograph.
Why do I feel guilty of a crime I never committed?