I am fully aware that his crooked smiles, warm hugs, sweet glances and I love yous are not meant to stay forever.
The moment I realized that I had taken possession of him, I knew he won't be here for long.
I know that his favorite songs have always talked about you.
About how perfect and beautiful you are.
About the memories you have shared together.
I have always burned in the back of my mind that he will eventually leave,
After he has finished licking all his open wounds that he got from you,
Like a kitten.
I have always known that I'm just here to let him know that he is worth it.
That he deserves all the love in the world.
I am only here to wake up a side of him that he has long forgotten.
I always remind myself that he isn't mine to keep.
I try not to, but jeez, look at him.
Who wouldn't fall in love with someone like him?
Who wouldn’t fall in love with the way he combs his hair?
Who wouldn’t fall in love with the boy who is more than willing to listen?
To your hopes, dreams, and fears.
To the way you hated how your laugh sounds like when you are undeniably happy.
To your never ending rants about how your father left you and your family all alone.
Why wouldn’t you fall in love with that kind of boy?
Why wouldn’t you go for someone who devoted years of their life to you?
Why would you let someone like him hanging on thin air?
Why would you make him feel something’s gonna happen between you two when clearly, you give no damn about him?
Why would you make him feel like he’s nothing when he’s my everything?
Why would you do that?
Why would you make him feel like he’s not the boy that girls typically fall in love with?
Why would you do that when I adored him this much?
Why would you make him come crawling back to you when you obviously don’t want his presence?
Why does he still wants you even after all of this?
Here I am, painting roses and red for him and you just gave him blue.
Here I am, bleeding myself dry to make sunshine and you gave him rain.
I damped him wet with the water from my eyes and you made electricity run in his veins.
And yet, he is still hopelessly devoted to you.
I should never forget that.
I should remember in every second that I am with him that he isn’t mine to keep.
That he was just borrowed.