she is writing for the sake of him, she cannot possibly breath without seeing him. life to her is like water to fish--it sustains her soul and keeps her afloat. when she first saw the first day on earth, she had no idea that one day she would have to face cruelty and its chains of pain. How could she see past the guilt, shame, fear, rejection, and most of all...how could she fit in?
the simple things have the worst endings--yet the happiest have it easy?! why was she born? so she could face the pain, alone? She trembled as each...day dragged on--full of pain, her heart she knew existed, gradually hardened, of all those days she had to face a "lashing" form her drunkard mother, who drunk her pain away, and took the torment on her daughter! She no longer cared, she felt nothing, in fact all she felt was the cold, numb, and dark things that crept in her mind each day. "maybe if I stop..." that's as far as she dared to think, for fear relented her to do so. Her Heart...her beating heart protrude no emotion, she was a walking corpse, with pumping red fluid that signified her life.
She was nobody, she was just another mortal on round earth. Her tears, round and full of agony...maybe that is why the earth was created to be round, it held so much pain, even those who lived on it had the slightest effect of what it held.
Why did her father leave? she knew the answer to well...he wasn't interested in a girl, he wanted someone who would carry out the last name, as if it was her fault that God brought her. At this point she wanted nothing more then silence and peace, which wasn't an option. her father left because of her, because she was born a girl...
A terrible reason to leave....a terrible way to say "I hate you"
Why did her mother marry a man such as him?!---well because to her mother it was love. oh! such a cruel word, a word that meant nothing to her, it only stood for pain, and pain was love! It held her together by the string of salty tears over the years, and now she was writing to the one boy who she poured her heart to, to the one who held same pain, but he...will never know how much she cared. Her heart was nothing more then a Heartbeat. Its nothing more then bits and pieces to her complicated life--maybe one day she will end it all.