Hello, My future wife!

I hope you are well.

I wonder what you are doing right now. Are you helping your mom with the dishes or are you talking to your brother about girls or are you making fun of your dad’s grey hair? Deep inside, I wonder, are you thinking about me? I know we will meet in four or five years and fall so hard in love with each other. I know we will spend the rest of our lives together. But if God asked me to trade anything I own for those four more years with you, I would without a second thought.

Have you ever noticed that there is this one guy everywhere, with a poorly kept beard, wearing dull and generic clothes, staring at the rain and just waiting for it to stop? He just stands there, in a shady corner, looking at the water falling on the ground, inhaling the raw smell of mud it brings along. He does not have anything to do. He does not have anywhere to go. He just waits.

What is he waiting for, you wonder! If you bother asking him, a cynical and philosophical answer might be all you get. But know this, princess, he hasn’t given up on life. Even if he tells himself and others so. He still has hope in the deepest corners of his heart. He still hopes to be rescued from the mediocrity that is life. He still hopes there will come a day when people will be greedy for love and not money. He still hopes that there is that one raindrop waiting in the gloomiest of clouds above, that is destined by the Gods to hit his face and breathe life into his tired eyes. He still hopes for a reason to live, a reason to smile and above all, a reason to love. He still hopes that you are living in some part of this very world. He still hopes for redemption.

I know what you must be thinking. How do I know him that well? Oh, trust me when I say that I do. He is the guy who will love you not only for the way you look and smile, he will love you for the beautiful soul that you are. He will make you laugh, talk for long hours, sing your favorite songs, buy you presents, fit perfectly into your family, charm your friends, travel the world with you, make memories with you, hold your hand, share your secrets, wipe your tears and look at you like you are the only thing in the world that matters. All that he asks for in return is for you to hug him so tight that all the broken pieces of his heart come back together.

He is not me. But I am him. I have learned to live with the loneliness, but know this my dear, I have stood through countless of those rains. I have done it for so long that it is now a part of me. Every time it rains, I rush to the window, wishing that the one raindrop, which I have been waiting for all my life, finds my cheek.

Find me, princess, and help me find myself.

Yours lovingly,

SR.