House/weekend. I woke up with the smell of garlic filling the air. It's morning and somebody's making the breakfast. I look at the bed beside min and the house help was nowhere to be found. She is probably the one cooking or was doing the laundry.
Dorm/weekdays. I woke up with the sound of people talking, music or the news blaring. It was another night of studying. My head was hurting from lack of sleep and dread for not doing enough studying to last me a day or a week in medschool.
Home. I feel like i don't belong to this family. It feels like i'm alienated by my own family. They don't talk to me. My sister probably hates me. My brother thinks I am a vile human being. My father thinks that I am a vaccum and I'm draining his savings. My stepmom thinks... idunno, something.
School. I am studying but I still think I don't do enough to satisfy the standard I expect myself to attain. I set myself up for failure everytime. I panic once I lose control of anything I set my mind into. My classmate probably think I'm a lot of work as a friend or is a shitty friend. They alienate me as well. I should not care at all but I do. I damn well do.
HERE. I can speak freely. Nobody judges me, at least not to my face. I don't see the snicker they give as if my existence is stupidity itself. I need help, don't I? HELP! anybody out there. Understand my situation but never patronize me, please. this post probably will go unnoticed. It's okay. At this point in my writing I felt a little better. Thanks for being my outlet! <3