The questions surfaced
Asked me directly and the answers are unclear
The tears just pooled in my eyes
The heaviness in my heart
The emotions I can't control
I never want to lose you
I never want to hurt him
I never want to leave anyone
I never want to exist, in the first place
Or maybe, I never really wanted love
But how can I not want it?
I was loved and I am being loved
I gave love and I am giving love
My heart isn't enough to hold all the emotions and keep all the feelings
Mine or them
I cling to memories and caged by pain
Afraid of happiness and guilty of pleasure
My own eyes I seem not to understand
Betrayals of this mind and this heart confused
The path I want I cannot see clear
It's kind of hazy but I want you here
Selfish of me to never let you go
Holding on too tight until I constrict you of life and air to breathe
Life is too cruel and Earth is hell but also a paradise
I know most things don't last forever and time doesn't stop even when one stop existing
There's so much to feel and so much to think about
I never really want complications
But I think I'm a magnet of such
I am not so unfortunate because if I am, then I'm totally ruined and broken
No more smiles
Not even a facade of happiness
Nor a tinge of joy and love in me
I'm still here and I am lost at times.
Story