I think we have finally reached our final destination. Where everything that we had, even you, would be just a part of my memory. I tried to conceal these feelings that I had for you, but maybe it was the time to finally reload this baggage as we part ways.
Before I closed this chapter, I wanted to face every piece of the feelings I've been trying to avoid. I've been writing this with a heavy heart, but I'll try to speak the words contained within my soul.
You found me in the middle of the darkness. I was so familiar with this place that I rejected everyone who tried to find me here. I told you it was my safe zone, but you've seen how suffocated I was staying here. You broke down the chains that were binding me, knowing how much I've been suffering from pain. But I regret what you did.
For it just pushed me into much greater pain.
You said my eyes never lie, for they are the windows of my soul. That you are able to shut down the loud voices inside my head. And you did, only it didn't last.
You showed me how it feels like to be happy. Just like how we used to be mesmerized by the beauty of the city lights. I said they remind me of the fragments of hope scattered within this dark place. Now they just remind me of the pieces of broken memories we used to be together.
If only you knew how I was so tempted to hold your hand but I can't. I had no right to hope that you would look at me the way I look at you because you and I can never be. I completely accepted the fact the no one will love me. For there is nothing beautiful about me inside and out.
I've been through a series of heartbreaks and have loved halfheartedly. Knowing that love is another kind of torture. It is depressing and frightening. I always end up losing the game.
Your "I'll be here for you" doesn't feel safe anymore because it just keeps me from falling for you. And yes, falling means hurting. As I can feel my heart painfully beating for you.
Now I'm just seeing you as another kind of pain. Even though you try to rescue me, you will never be able to. My life is chaotic, and you've been part of the chaos. I was forcefully back in the middle of the darkness. Maybe this really was my fate.
Now we have taken our last step to our destination. Two roads are ahead, and we have to take separate ways.
But I will promise you one thing;
One day I won't be hurt anymore like you always wanted me to be. For I will be... ...as I walk down this road.
Be thinking of you as my beautiful tragedy.