I believe in a saying That says that "when we want to forget a person, We should write about them" and as I am letting go of him, I don't want to leave any piece of him inside my heart or thoughts".
This is the last time, I should write about him, and because of it, I wanna write everything, till everybeat of my heart, and till everytime my eyes glowed for him would be written, to flow throw my words so when I forget him, I'd just take a look at this, and know he lost a very precious love, he lost something that was real, that maybe he won't find again.
He may find someone who loves him more, maybe less. But not the type of love I felt.
At the time I thought, I didn't believe in love. I met him. I still remember our first eye contact, our first words, I still remember his facial reaction, I still remember that day as if it was yesterday, and If I had the choice, I wouldn't look at him when we first met. If I had the choice I would have closed my eyes, If I had the choice I'd run away, Because it kills me inside how I remember him. It hurts me to let go of him. I never knew I'd love him. I never knew but there is something about him that is different, That attracted me, That made me feel safe, scared and happy.
and because I am scared, to love him. I am too scared that I wanna let go of him. I am too scared that he'll hurt me. Because if he hurts me, I'll never be recovered.
I wouldn't be scared to love anyone else, because I know that nobody has that effect on me but him that's why I don't wanna love him, He has that power on me, That keeps me as a baby, I don't want to feel like that. I am afraid of how much I love him, I am afraid of my weakness, It feels like If I loved him I'll lose my heart, my mind and give him everypiece of my soul.
I am afraid of him. I am afraid to talk with him, I am afraid to look at him, Because everytime I look at him, I fall in love, Everytime I talk with him, I know we complete each others in some strange way.
I loved his smile, and the way his crooked teeth look like, When he smiles, It feels like every pain I've ever felt in the world is removed by that smile.
I loved how he was protective, like when I am around him, Nothing can hurt me, Because everytime I look around me, he is there watching me and that keeps me safe. Everytime I talk with somebody else, I just look at him to know that he is there. I'd feel safe and protected.
I loved him that I didn't see anybody else but him and didn't fall for anyone else but him, How could I feel anything for someone if it isn't him?
I didn't love him because I wanted or needed to, I loved him because I felt like He was something I belonged to, The other half I was searching for.
Sometimes I wish he knew, but even if he knew, His closed heart won't allow me to love him. He never admits to himself that he loves anyone.
and Every step towards him is a step towards regret, All I can see when I am getting close to him is getting closer to getting hurt.
I knew he wasn't the one for me, I knew I am the type that would get hurt if I loved him, But I didn't choose to. I know I am not the girl that can handle being with him.
and my last words about him, would be that once he meant the world for me, Even If I don't want him anymore or even If I decided to let go of him.
I loved him with every meaning a word love could carry.