She's the one you choose to love
You know what?
That truth almost turn my tears into blood
I don't want to be tied up to loneliness just because the reality slaps to me that you're into her
But, it's not just easy to get rid of anything that hurts, so, I deal with these ordeals of love untold
I can't help but ask, "Do you see her as your wife in the future?" I'm frightened to hear "Yes" from inevitable rumors. As couples do, both of you are making wondrous memories together, maybe even shared a lot of promises to ponder
We don't have pasts as being lovers, but as being friends that didn't get so close and that certainty carved a thread of sorrow into my heart that has already bleeding hollows
Having a feeling of being undesirable by you is indeed the cause of my overwhelming curiosity, "How do you love her?"
How do you love her in every second? In every minute? In every hour of your days?
I am desperate to know but I don't think that I can handle the scenes of what you would want to show
In my mind, there is now a torrent of questions and it's awful how they slowly thrust themselves
Starting into the periphery of my heart like needles being put into a cushion
If only I can utter all of these in front of you without hesitations, I would possibly not feel much burden caused by mind's commotions
But all I can do is to write down my heart-rending thoughts to somehow lessen their anonymity
If you might not get a chance to read this, at least some people would see my written emotions ardently done at times of privacy
Coming from the holes of the heart are the echoes of "How do you love her?"
How do you love her in every day of your life?
Do you often think about her hair because of its smoothness and blackness and never tried any shades of hair color?
Do you often think about her heart-shaped lips because they are seductive enough to make a kissing longer?
Does you eyes always want to meet her eyes because they can see somewhere the sincerity of her emotions?
Do you still admire her face with few pimples because of thinking that one or two maybe the upshots of her feelings of being in love with you?
Do you admire her skin because it appears to you as flesh that you always want to get in touch with?
Do you often think about her smile because the way it curves is just so lovely?
Do you often yearn for her arms to hug you because their warmth are stupefying as if they are both expressing a sense of fervency?
Do you think a lot about how she devours her food when you're having a romantic date at expensive restaurant or at home because the lick, the chew, the swallow, are all too cute and sexy?
Do you think much of how she talks to and cuddles with her pet because her childishness is too winsome to ignore?
Do you often can't help but to ponder about the way she laughs at anything that's ridiculous because the gestures, the sound of laughter are charming to your sight and like a harmony to your ears?
Do you often listen to her voice, singing the songs that she recorded and sent to your phone because the tone feels like it's taking you back home from abyss of clamors?
Do you admire her sense of enthusiasm when her close friends are approaching and while they're having a conversation about something because it appears more precious than the first time you saw it?
Do you try to keep in mind her many wisdom that she had shared with you because they are worth remembering and inspire you to move on and to reach your goals?
Do you love a memory of her being asleep because it's through her immobile face that you once caught her whispering your name?
Do you often em-place her picture under your pillow or you look at some of her photographs before you shut your eyes to escape reality because you're hoping that it's her who will beautify your dreams?
Do you really love hauling her things because it's your one way of proving that you're willing to carry the weight of the relationship's future problems?
Do you often pray for strength, for your love to be enough to somehow replace every piece of her sadness as every piece of happiness?
Do you perceive her as waves of the ocean that can be scary at times of storms and yourself as a ship navigating,still willing to try adjusting the sail, knowing that calmness of her will eventually surround you?
Do you often take time to gaze at the stars because they simply resemble how beautiful her soul is?
So, do you love her like this? Or you do things more than this?