Everybody have lived a perfect moment at least once in a lifetime, a moment fueled by an unusual happiness and bliss, a moment that makes one wish to have the ability to stop time and sit still enjoying it. A moment can be described as perfect when the nature and the state of mind and the circumstances (and the whole universe) cooperate together to provide an absolute serenity to the soul. It is considered as a brainy orgasm, something out of control that decreases the rate of thoughts and put the mind in a trance, it might even make it hold on for a while and allow to the heart to pursue what makes it feel overjoyed.
The people with whom we have the chance to have such an experience become special and stay carved within us forever. They might be way far from perfection but what they bring to that moment, what they participate with cannot be replaceable.
Indeed, love is involved in all kinds of perfect moment; it is the engine that makes a human being feels in a best way, it does not mean that to feel so one has necessarily to find a companion because it shall be self-love, as simple as that.
My perfect moment so far is titled “Soukaina and the sunset”. Soukaina is a nice girl I came across on a social network. Ever since the very beginning of our conversation I felt she was special, a one of a kind girl with a rare personality that we can only find once or twice. She had always been fascinating me by the way she considered life and by the perspective from which she perceived the world. We would talk everyday between 7p.m and 1a.m (occasionally extend it to 3a.m), and merely by exchanging ideas (sometimes funny and naughty stuff) we could feel an exceptional relief, it was like a getaway, a way out from all the worldly issues, a pleasure that restored and purified our souls from what fate had brought to us. Even though Soukaina was two years older than me, we did not feel much that difference of age, we would always align and complete each other’s thoughts. That was Soukaina.
The excitement and addiction we had shown toward each other got us to considering meeting. We both were definitely against the idea of contributing in a totally virtual relationship, or at least friendship. We were enthusiastic about whatever relationship was going to link us in real life. Consequently, we agreed on the 1st May and scheduled a first meeting in Casablanca. I remember being oddly thoughtful about it the days before. I would constantly wonder whether it was going to get us somewhere beyond friendship. Soukaina had once told me some of the behaviors and attitudes she did not appreciate a lot in other guys, I took advantage of that and made sure I avoid them all. She really wanted that date to succeed, I mean a special girl who tells you what to do and what not to do in order to find the way to her heart, who on earth is she going to be if she is not Soukie. Though, she has been so insisting on self-esteem and not pretending to be somebody else or adopt a specific attitude just to please others. In return, I did not say a single word about my preferences or what I do not like in girls, for me that line was already crossed, internally I could feel a bottomless certainty that she was the right girl I’ve been waiting for, there was no need to show her the path to my heart, she was already there.
What I have written so far is mere thirty per cent of the reasons which gave me the yearning of putting it on paper, the extraordinary (and hurting at the same time) is yet to come. Let’s go straight to the point: The big day. I took the train to get to Casablanca (It seemed to be the longest ride ever and felt like centuries even though it only took twenty minutes) and as planned we met in the train station. Just by seeing Soukaina coming my pulse started to race. I could feel my heart pound so strongly against my chest; it was neither fear nor surprise, maybe the appropriate word for that hard beating was pleasure, an indescribable pleasure, the one that runs throughout your veins making every little particular part of you happy. She must have noticed that I was slightly stressed out.
We exchanged kisses on the cheeks (The Moroccan formal greeting), Then I teased her about not arriving in time. All she did was giving me a wide sarcastic smile. Honestly, things got a bit weird; it was such an oddity not to interact with each other the way we used to do in our virtual discussions. Anyway, we took a cab to reach a commercial center located right in front of the beach. By the time we got there, Soukaina had been doing the touristic guide. She gave me quick presentations of plenty of places which I already knew but pretended I did not in order to avoid speaking; I had really nothing to say.
We got there, had a quick walk then went to a café. We sat on the corner where we could see all the people walking by. Soukaina was sitting right next to me, smoking and looking at me in the eye. To be honest, I have dated only a few girls in my entire life, I am the guy who gets paralyzed and nervous whenever a girl compliments me or keeps staring at me, the reason for which I’ve always preferred shy and non-talkative girls because they’re generally easier to deal with. Oh! I forgot to mention that Soukaina is a talkative person but in an exceptional and different way. She is very dynamic too; she’s got that capacity of combining words and body language, which provides an accurate and clear message. She’s charismatic; she kind of dominated me out there. I got soon addicted to her (It was scarcely awkward but it was completely out of my control, a sort of rebel feeling that refused to obey my mind). Thus, we had an interesting discussion.
At sometime, something magical happened. We found ourselves holding hands; it was neither my intention nor hers, that was sent from above, a mighty energy that wanted us to get enough of talking and spend some romantic unforgettable moments. I took it further by asking her to get closer to me, and she immediately executed by sinking under my arm and putting her head upon my chest. At that precise instant I knew that this wasn’t going to end up well. It was totally abnormal, too early, way beyond my relationship ethic, but nevertheless I didn’t hesitate a single second to carry on.
We remained there a few more time then decided to go wander on the Oceanside. We were acting like a romantic couple who just celebrated their tenth anniversary. Our bodies constantly in contact, we had been walking side to side, squeezing each other’s hand so passionately. I kept taking peeps on her to make sure she was comfortable and to admire her sparkling wavy slightly brown hair. Suddenly, I felt the urge of touching it, I wanted to verify if it felt as soft as it looked like but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. I liked every little part of her body (her personality as well), I knew she didn’t even approach perfection, I mean she might be full of flaws, but she intrigued the part of me that I thought was dead forever. I was so consumed with that feeling that I hadn’t had the courage of letting go of her hand a single second. I suggested to sit on the sand and watch the sea and she suggested to stay there until the sunset (we both brought propositions that suited quite perfectly that moment), so we sat where people seemed to be the least, and ….. Dear reader, Brace yourself!
What I have been describing as a “Perfect Moment” and all the emotions that come with were getting started now. The biggest credit of me recording this story (the thing that I’ve never done before) goes exactly to this particular part of it. I separated my legs and Soukaina sat in the gap leaning her back against my chest and holding my hands. Her hair was all over my face, it smelled exotic fruits, wow. She eventually stopped being excessively talkative (She’d already mentioned that when it comes to emotions she’s rather speechless). Thanks God for that, it was for our sake both.
Actually it was a speaking silence, a fervent one, a whole new version of meditation (not in a literal meaning) that took us from our places to a sensual utopia. It turns out that I’d been mistaking the most effective manner of expressing emotions for twenty one years. I’d always been speaking my heart, considering that there was no better way of doing it otherwise than verbally (and I am sure that more than eighty per cent of people would agree on that). Well no, for once in my life I disagree on that. I’ve been disagreeing from that date on. I ultimately came to the conclusion that silence might be a more efficient tool, a standard non-verbal language that only can be understood by lovers. I’m not sure if “lovers” is the right word to describe our situation. We were absolutely not lovers, at least not yet, but still we could understand that language perfectly. Maybe the fact of us having been through similar emotionally destroying experiences had something to do with that, or maybe it is simply because of astrology as Soukaina claimed. We both were born in January which means we have the same sign in astrology zodiac. She once told me: “we’re quite the same; it’s just that my experiences had made me more talkative. It’s astrology Simo”. I laughed so hard for that.
Speaking of astrology, even though it wasn’t dark yet, we could already distinguish two dazzling stars dominating the sky. We raised our heads and stared at them. The stars we happened to be looking at weren’t actually stars, they were planets: Venus and Mars. We argued about which one was Mars and which one was Venus. I thought Mars was the one that looked bigger since it is the nearest planet to earth, but I was wrong (and of course she was right, again), it was exactly the opposite. I refused to admit it at the beginning. I was not convinced until she took her phone (a very modest one) out of her purse and surprised me by looking it up in Google. I thought to myself: “What the hell? Is she even serious? It is not the appropriate time for general knowledge”.
By the way, what makes Soukaina different from other girls is that she is so much cultivated (even more than our French teacher who always comes up with facts and information we ignore). She would always tell you quotes and proverbs, from books she’d read or documentaries she’d watched, connected to the subject you are discussing. Back in the café, I noticed that she was wearing the same black watch she’d been wearing in all her photographs. She told me how special that watch was to her. It suits her hand no matter outfit she puts on. I held her forearm to get a closer look at the watch (there was a skull in the middle of it), and she immediately went: “I love this watch, it is so Shakespearian”. Shakespearian? Really?.. I got confused right away. What was she talking about? What is the link between her watch and Shakespeare? Noticing my wonderment, she went on: “The skull, Shakespeare was holding a skull when he said the famous philosophical quote: to be or not to be, that is the question”, then she started talking about what he thought about death and his philosophies. Considering that, I turned into a sleep-like state of mind, looking at her and thinking: “She knows about Shakespeare’s life details. I am in trouble. If I lose her I would never find a girl like her again”, I was predicting the future of our relationship somehow. How funny.
After that “Venus or Mars” debate, we went back to our softness, to the perfect moment. I complimented every part of her body and she reacted by caressing my hands, squeezing them tightly, even kissing them. Soukaina has her own touch in romance, she did things that really made me fall in love with her character. For instance, she bitted my forearms and my cheeks. We talked exceptionally to reveal feelings or to express how happy we were. The sun was going down, getting more orange, and the water beneath it tool the same color because of the reflection. It was an attractive sight. I asked her in a relieved way: “Do you like kisses on the neck?” and she replied: “Yes, everybody do”. As if she was reading my thoughts, she waited a second and (with a gorgeous smile) went on:”It is going to me shiver”. I kissed her white good-smelling neck.
We then emerged in an emotive silence again. It was to express our total satisfaction of what we received from each other. In a moment of communion and devotion, she broke the silence by saying: “Cuddling with you makes me feel like you protect me from the entire world”. I considered that to be an authorization which removed all the kinds of barriers between me and her. An approval that made us part of each other’s most precious belongings no matter how priceless we were to others. I felt love rushing throughout my heart. My mind was sort of turned off. I guided my thoughts away from the fact that we had just met and that It hadn’t been long enough since we knew each other. My brain ended up convincing itself that none of this matters and eventually admitted that it might simply be what we call “love from the first sight”.
Can love from the first sight be this true, this affectionate? Does it even exist? That was what I found out when Soukaina’s lips touched mine. For the record, yes it does exist (or at least that was what I admitted then). It was the most emotive fervent aggressive kiss I’ve ever had in my entire miserable life. It had me to forget my past of always being that shy and weird guy who screwed every single date. Those kisses (one wasn’t sufficient) were unbelievably aggressive. There was something wild about them that made us neglect the whole universe and don’t feel the presence of the people who happened to be in the entourage, something that only jungle animals have. We bitted each other’s lips so hard and so passionately like two lovers who distance had been separating for many years.
Soukaina is a kissing-master. We had five unforgettable kisses. The third one was the longest and the most sensual, the one that made me literally fall in love with her (or fall in troubles). Between kisses, we kept our faces stuck, playing with our noses, feeling each other’s warm breath, stroking hairs and biting cheeks. It was all about bites. I quickly got familiar with that manner of fulfilling savage desire even though I hadn’t bitted any girls before. It felt like something that couldn’t possibly be learned or acquired intentionally, it only comes when you yearn so mightily for someone to the point of wanting probably to eat them.
It was exactly then when all the universe molecules put themselves together in a very appropriate way and provided an otherworldly sensation for us. Maybe it shouldn’t be perceived like this at all because we were the ones who gave that sensation a birth in the first place, and the ones who took advantage of it right away. The universe and fate contributed by the adequacy of circumstances. The sunset colors and the ocean smell and the sound of waves splashing along the seaside had all participated, the overall nature was kind of calculated with a high accuracy that got our hearts to being open doors.
It felt like everything that was occurring in our lives was fake but those kisses. That perfect moment brought me the biggest wonderment ever: “Would I ever experience that same sensation again?” … Maybe, maybe NOT.