Romance. How would you explain this word to a small child? Would you explain this word as per the dictionary? Or would you state examples from the contemporary sense of romance and love? Based on what is accepted as romance in contemporary times, these are the examples I would give to a kid to explain the concept.
1) When you chase a vampire who is intoxicated by your blood.
2) When you freeze to death in the bitter cold water, and let a person who you just met yesterday, to take up a space for two on a wooden plank.
3) Imprinting on a baby, when just a few months back you were 'in love' with the baby's mom.
I could go on, but the list is endless, and gets more ridiculous by the minute. I may sound cynical about the contemporary sense of romance. That isn't really the case. Okay it is.
If you see a pale skinned guy, who glares at you from a distance, and later turns out to be a vampire and admits to being intoxicated by your blood, you don't fall in love with him. You absolutely do not exchange saliva with him. You run. You don't only run, you leave the town. And just to be safe, I suggest that you leave the country, get a new passport and change your name. Since this guy is rich and has the resources to find you (what with his various branded cars and all). I mean, that is the practical thing to do. Now I know some of you will go on this rant that 'You can't be practical when you're in love' . I'll tell you where not being practical gets you. Few years down the line, you get married at eighteen and have a vampire baby, who gets imprinted on by a werewolf. You can't even call the cops on this pedophile without explaining your blood sucking condition. What a fairytale ending. At least, you get to live 'forever' with your blood sucking companion, and your daughter who will outgrow you in two years.
You still don't believe me? Let's take another example. So you decide to board a ship that doesn't have enough life boats for everyone. This story already shows signs of a beautiful fairytale ending (forgive my sarcasm, it's one of my many faults). You see a beautiful woman, so you express your love (which sprouted in a matter of hours by the way) in the form of a song where you and your beautiful companion decide to impersonate Jesus, while standing at the very end of the ship, where there is an infinite possibility that you might fall dangerously to your death (oh, I wish). Unfortunately you survive that dangerous situation.
And then of course, every love story needs an over protective greasy haired villain who has a bunch of goons following his rear end (my attempt at being civil) wherever he goes. To evade the possible risk of getting a headache if I go into any more details, I'm just going to fast forward towards the end of this 'romantic' adventure.
So the ship sinks, many people freeze to death in the water due to lack of lifeboats (surprise!). Our beautiful couple manage to catch on to a raft. Now this is the part of the movie where gender equality is questioned. (Yes, I'm a hardcore Feminist). Our heroine decides to lie down on the raft like she freaking owns it , while our hero shivers in the water.
Really people? Like seriously? THIS is romantic? If she at least decided to shift her rear end (another attempt at being civil), there would have been place for both of them on the raft. Or they could have at least taken turns.
Anyway, long story short. He dies. She lives. Eternal Romance. I think I've made my point.