My lips tremble and hands shiver.
Can I so casually reveal my greatest fear?
My eyelids have never felt this heavy before.
I don't want to be judged, don't want to be called a whore.
Would they still look me down?
I know they can't see you like I do
How shall I tell them that I still breathe you?
That your smell still entices me
That my heart still bears your name?
I look at you more than once
But I don't let your eyes catch hold of mine.
I know you won't understand too.
I don't want to tell you that I need you.
and that I need you not just in my dreams
holding my hands and sweeping me off my feet
But on my lap, resting your head peacefully.
I can't let anyone find out
you'll call me desperate
they'll call me a dumb bitch
But It ain't that easy to hide
that the curve formed by your lips
is the only thing that gives me
hope
and encourages me to give
the knife,
the poison
and the pills
a miss.