I'm always blessed to hear his laugh,
But it hurts me most to hear his grumbling stomach,
His awful cry and dropping tears,
It just hurts me for many years.
My deceased mother was right, he should've been dead. Not because I hate him, but because I love him. I know it sounds so wrong. But it hurts seeing him living like this.
For all these years, life's been tough,
Life's been hard, life's been bad,
Life's been rough.
So far, he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
And so I decided fixing him by simply ruining myself.
Living in poverty is a long run,
Drenched in sweat under the sun,
So tiring, but I learned to have fun,
Especially when I see his smile,
When I give him a piece of bread,
I worked hard for half a day.
He's got dreams I can't afford. It hurts me when he says, "Mom, when I grow up, I wanna be a captain! Come aboard for you'll be my first passenger! Yo ho ho! "
But that dream did not sail, instead, it flew away. We continued to live a poor life. We survived years by living like rats in sewers.
Until one day, he have gotten very ill.
Maybe because of the heavy rain that gave him chill.
I asked and shouted for help,
But it never came. I called for gold in heavens and riches in the world but the universe seems deaf but not blind. Because all it seems to see is our old ripped clothes that shows poverty.
My heart droped when can barely feel his warmth,
The warmth that I might never feel again,
I've never been this scared,
It just hurts, my life full of pain.
He is the spark that flickers, my dearest son. He is a dim light in my dark life. So bright yet disappearing, but still, he is precious.
And as he slowly closed his eyes in my arms, I sang a lullaby.
"Oh paradise, my only dream. Take us there tonight. It's cold in here, so dark and blue. Oh paradise of hue, if you can't take two, just my son please. I'll give him all I had to lose. All we want is the life they took for granted. Oh paradise, please, I'm begging you."
The moment it ended. I never cried so hard. It's hard to pretend that he's just sleeping in my arms. His face is pale just like an angel's. Well, he's my angel after all but I lost him.
Funny how I tried to save him even if I know he'll end up suffering some more.
I gave him all I had to lose but I still ended up losing him.