A girl who always wish to have a happy life and to have the love of her life. She accepts risks and challenges especially when it comes to love, when it comes to loving someone so that she can feel that she is special. She is willing to give every time of her clock just to be with her man.
I loved a guy who's been in a recent broke up. I know I can be just his rebound, but there is nothing I can do. I just comfort him and make him feel that he is not lonely. Days passed, he's getting sweeter, so I forgot about his past or what could happen. Until one day, I cried in front of my friend as I received his message saying that he still loves his ex girlfriend. What else can I do? She met him before me. I cried so many nights thinking how fool I am to believe his flowery words. Months passed, he came back, he came back smiling like nothing happened. I was so glad that he returned, but accepting him back is the worst decision I have ever made.
A year passed, I reconnect with my other ex boyfriend (5 years ago). I felt the love I had before when we were still together. I felt the same damn feeling of happiness being with him. We reconnect, he sweet talk to me and he want to regain the love we have lost bach then since we are too immature that first time. A week passed and we lost again our connection, sucks. Really. I thought this time it will be something great, something deeper than before. I guess, I was wrong. What I felt is absolutely a big big mistake.
Months passed, I learn how to be alone. I always have my alone time accepting that no one will ever gonna stay with me, that everyone leaves and no one is willing to stay. I am happy to spend most of time with my family and friends. Independent? Not really, there's just things that I can't handle by myself and I am all enough after all.
Same time of my happy time is him coming back. The ex boyfriend for 5 years. He sweet talk again to me and dang! I fell for it all over again. Now, I don't know if he will stay or not. If he stays, that's fine and if he leave that's fine too. I always have this feelings with me if it is him I am talking to. I can stay up all night to talk to him which I never did to someone else. I can wait for his late messages and still reply to him on time. I thought that things will literally change. He will come back and won't leave, but there he goes, he left me for the third fucking time. I don't know why I have this habbit coming back to what I've already lost. Giving a chance for them to hurt me again. I can never learn how to get stronger so the wrong person won't ever hurt me again. This habit is never been good to my health but I can't avoid it. I am being too nice to criminals. I gave them my time but I didn't notice that they their own clocks.