I never told you I love you even when I got drunk with you on that she-cheated-on-me Tuesday and we-broke-up Thursday and danced til dawn then went to work the next day acting sober.
I never told you I love you even when
I googled how to cook your favorite food and surprised you with my 3rd attempt of it just to pass from your meticulous tastebuds because you missed your mom.
I never told you I love you even when I leave sticky notes on your fridge to remind you of the microwavable breakfast and not forget to turn off the lights because you always do.
I never told you I love you even when I always call out of the blue to ask how's everything going on and remind you I'm always proud of the things you try to be best at.
I never told you I love you even when I cheer for you during basketball games until I run out of voice and choreography or during mobile games until I run out of shit and damn and fuck.
I never told you I love you even when I let you have a marathon with your The Cab playlist instead of my 5 Seconds of Summer at my house, eating the last piece of my Snickers or drinking the last drop of my Yakult.
I never told you I love you even when I took candid pictures while you're playing with your dog Sirius or while you're reading a James Patterson book or while you're sipping your black coffee with just your boxers on.
I never told you I love you even when I watched you stare in awe at the setting sun while the waves kept on slamming to our feet and the sand slipping through our fingertips.
I never told you I love you even when I write your name, your bad habits, your mannerisms, your scars and your out-of-this-world fantasies in my unrhymed poetries and immortalize you using my odd metaphors.
I never told you I love you even when I talk about you with my girl friends, my dad, my brother, or with a stranger on how I appreciate your patience with my mood swings and how I admire you for being a responsible son.
I never told you I love you even when I cried telling my mom how happy I am whenever I'm with you and that I'm afraid of losing you in my life and in this world. She wanted to meet you after that emotional girl talk.
I never told you I love you even when I was there knocking on your door at 3am with ube-flavored ice cream after calling me that you dreamt again of your dead bestfriend.
I never told you I love you even when I always call for a sick leave to my manager whenever you have fever or asthma attacks. I buy you meds, force you to eat and watch you sleep until your body temperature gets normal or until you stop that scary wheezing.
I never told you I love you even when I hand-comb your hair and pat your back while you rest your head on my tummy until you fall asleep after a stressful day at work or after a nasty discourse with your dad.
I never told you I love you even when I traced the outlines of your dark eyebrows, sensitive nose and irresistible lips while you were busy naming the constellations under the blanket of stars on that one moonless night.
I never told you I love you even when I equalled the intensity of your kisses, granted you access to my neck, gave you permission to leave trails on my chest, and surrendered to you my bare entirety until the only sound left is our ragged breathing.
I never told you I love you even when you explained why you didn't show up on our movie night because she texted you to come and meet her at Starbucks. You never told me but I saw in your eyes that you still love her.
I never told you I love you even when you came without warning and asked why I was crying inside my closet. You laughed at me when I lied that it's because of Augustus Waters again. Then you spilled the good news: you're back together.
I never told you I love you but that doesn't mean I never loved you. I never told you even when I wanted to or even when I had the chance to because I know you won't love me as much as you love her.
-words by ascute montefalco