This night is going to be holding so much importance for the rest of your life. Your tears, they matter. Your emotions, regardless of how messy they are, matter. Nobody will never know how sad I was yesterday and how much did I wish to make my parents proud. It took me back to those months where I worked my ass of for things that were not even that important to me. I thought of those days when I had a mental breakdowns over petty things and nobody ever came to know about it, except me. Nobody will ever know about that day when I went to college to attend classes on my second day of menstruation with terrible cramps after which I went to South extension to get my medicines so as to not get a scolding from my parents and then changing metros four times to get home only to get scolded by a teacher for a thing I didn’t do. My fight with her is important because that has changed the dynamics of literally everything. Nobody will ever come to know about those Sundays I devoted to MAD recruitments without any commitments. Nobody will know how much I struggled to have my grades on track and also attend DC meetings. Nobody will ever know about the month of March when I would literally wake up everyday wanting to die because I couldn’t take my existential crises anymore. Nobody will ever know about the countless nights I cried and still managed to wake up and make people around me, laugh. Nobody will ever know how much I still tried to be there for myself and for people who mattered to me. The thing is I have come to terms with the fact that sacrifices are infact best confided in yourself. All I know is that if I were to give an award to myself, I would give myself “Superwoman” and a lot of people would disagree with that and that’s okay because if I were to receive that award, I will not share it with anyone. Nobody really needs to know except for myself. Today I have woken up again with the same thoughts and believe me, it doesn’t feel any better than yesterday but I’ll tell myself it’s okay, there are better things coming my way. And no matter how many such nights go by, I will never forget even single one of them. Those nights are important.
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