I am fated to remember a boy with a wrecked voice? Not because of his voice, or because he was the most attractive person I ever knew, or even because he was the chamber of my deep,dark,disguised secrets of my inner soul, but because he is the reason I believed in myself.
Flashback, all his abominable habits switched over , As usual he stared at the menu for about half an hour making up his mind on the dish he's about to take in. He examined a half empty glass..or is it half full? he anticipated... It was as if our eyes has met for the first time , never been that surprised of the way he looked like. i was like oh my god, he looks so good!
No questions at first, just some quiet sipping as we drank each other in.Then, as the tea cooled in pools at the bottom of our cups,I finally leaned to him and said, “tell me everything”
He smiled,slightly mischievously.” everything? I don’t think we have enough time for that….”
I looked at the floor.The fact that he could say this, merely emphasized that he hasn't changed a bit.This man was in for a rude awakening.
"you're not far away" i said "you can reach it just as we used to reach things together"
i suppressed a smile.The world i supposed,was full of enthusiasts and fans of one kind or another.
There were people who loved all sorts of extraordinary things and lived for their passions.He was a perfectly respectable passion, i supposed.FADED as he called me,had appreciated steam engines, and once he confessed that when he was a boy he had loved a steam engine which he thought "every bit of it was beautiful" ...i was his steam engine or as the french addressed their lovers as "Mon Petite Chou",his little cabbage. how strange was human passion in his expression.
I was staring out the window were there where large blossoms of striated pink, which in his thought was concerned about some man walking down the street...
"you're quite right" he said, randomly breaking off the colored beauty i was enjoying that moment.
It was tough to evaluate the feelings that took over my brain-stem recalling the moment where all my goddamned,stirred thoughts sustained as i held my head recapturing those vague,perplexed puzzled up faith i had.
I turned to the corner and started to walk down the road.walking towards him, having just parked his car in the street, he was caught by my eyes as i passed.I have no evidence for that conclusion-none at all;perhaps,from the fact that he smiled at me, just a hint of a smile-and the smile was one of the little signals we flash to one another.
He was convinced that he wrote the most beautiful image in my head...it's almost like he had it planned, like he smiled and shook my hand and said,
"I'm about to screw you over".