As I sat in front of my computer
I let my thoughts wander
I felt my self sink into this hole
captive by different memories
I listened to the sound of my soul, slowly breaking
I watched as my world, slowly shattering
just as I've been wandering,
I've been thinking
Will they notice?
if the light from my eyes were slowly fading?
if the life from my smiles were slowly leaving
or if the skies above my head were slowly greying
Will they hear?
The silent cries behind my laughs
The silent fall of tears behind my giggles
or the silent thud of the broken pieces of me falling on the floor
After, I shut my eyes permanently
Will, they know my story?
and finally understood my fears?
Will they let me be happy with my choice?
If I drift off to this very long sleep,
Will he forgive me?
Will he forget me?
Will he still be the same?
When I shut myself down, don't ask me why
because there are a lot of reasons
And not one of them will ever be known to you.
because only I would know why
Deep tonight as you're sound asleep
Here I am, thinking of how beautiful the paradise would be?
Slowly picking up the razors trying my best to cut my skin
watching it turn pink and then red.
watching the blood come out
but then his face flashes in between my vision of the reality and paradise
so I got up and healed the scars on my wrist
Because deep tonight
I decided to stay
If I stay,
it would always be because I wanna be with him.