So I guess this is it, isn’t it? There are no more chapters, right? You said we were getting close and that was a while ago.
I stare up into the sky. It was the same old sky there had always been, except for some rainclouds that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. It isn’t raining, but they are still floating up there, all grey and dismal.
You begin to ask me something.
Don’t ask me how I know, I just do. Things just feel really final right now, like the downward slope is starting to level out. Eventually we’ll hit the back cover, right?
I sit down on the bench – had that been there a few minutes ago? It’s hard to concentrate. Did you say yes? I think I heard you. Your voice is getting harder to hear.
Thunder rumbles in the distance, but…it wasn’t like the thunder I’m used to. It sounds almost like you, and it sounds sad. I don’t want you to be sad. From those clouds, a single drop of rain falls to the earth, landing on my cheek.
You’re crying, aren’t you? I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to make you cry. I wish I could climb up and wipe away your tears. I wish I could change this.
The thunder rumbles again and, behind it, a voice. Your voice.
Me? I’ll be fine, I think. I don’t know if this has ever happened before. I don’t know if this will ever happen again. I don’t know what will happen when you…close the book.
You ask me if I’m afraid.
Strangely enough, I’m not.
Because I know that whatever happens to me when we reach the end of the book…you can always open it up again, right? At least I think you can. That’s when the answer hits me. The realization makes me bolt upright. That’s it, isn’t it? You can open it back up. The words won’t change, but I’ll still be here. You can meet me all over again, and I can meet you, and everything we have will come back.
It’s pouring now and the clouds have merged together. And then…there it is. For the first time, I see you.
You are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen in my entire life. It almost hurts to look at you. But I can’t seem to pull my gaze away.
You’re crying but it’s quiet. The thunder has drifted away. It’s too quiet now, just a soft pattering. But maybe that’s just the sound of your tears hitting the paper.
I realize that we don’t have a lot of time left.
Listen – before it’s all over – I want you to know that everything, all of this…even being over, it was worth it. It was worth it to meet you, to get to know you. Even if…when you close this and I disappear – it was worth it. I love you.
You love me, too. I can feel it. Just like for a moment I can feel what it would be like to hold your hand.
There is a very long pause and I realize you’re prolonging the inevitable. We both know that you need to close this book.
You can do it.
For the first time, you have to be the hero. You have to close the book so we can keep going. I believe in you.
The sky gets darker. Slowly, but then it gets light again. I can still see your face, high above me, tears twinkling in those beautiful, bright eyes. You open your mouth and for the first time, I can HEAR you. I can hear every word, not just distant rumbling noises that sound vaguely like the English language. Not just feel what you’re trying to say or understand you in my own head. Your voice comes through the pages in your world and into the reality of mine. It reverberates and I can hear every little nuance, down to the tiny hitch from you crying.
“I’ll never forget you,” you say. “I’ll come back soon.”
The time is here.
I don’t want to die.